My younger sister and I have always been very close. She has had things happen very straightforwardly, so she went to Uni, got the job she wanted, found the man quite young, got a house and got married this year and although at times I was envious, she would never have known because I was also delighted for her and very happy to be a part of it all. I'm older and have had a bit of a chaotic 20-30's so I’ve had ups and downs at times like career changes, break ups etc. My current partner and I met in our late 20's & in September we got pregnant and couldn't be happier, (we have been trying for about 2 years due to our age but remained as relaxed as possible about the whole process as we also enjoyed our time together without this adventure yet) we are now having a tiny simple wedding before the baby comes.
My sister had told everyone she was going to start ‘trying’ to get pregnant in September – so to be clear she has been trying to get pregnant for 2 months only and has not had any difficulties in the past and is still young and healthy. She was the first person I told on the weekend I found out (I was only about 4 weeks along). She looked shocked and not very happy when she found out, she quickly pulled It back and came round to eat with us that night and celebrate. All night she kept saying “I hope I am too” and kind of moaning that she wasn’t yet. I assumed she just really wants it too and didn’t react. The next day, she text me early in the morning and told me that they’d already picked their baby names and told me what they were and that I couldn’t use them. I didn’t argue and said we won’t be thinking about that yet as it’s so early and we are still processing the news. She then rang me that night and announced she was also pregnant! I was shocked and tried to say all of the right things but I just couldn’t believe it. She then told me I couldn’t tell our parents until she had – when I disagreed with this and suggested we could tell them at the same time she sulked and had a strop. Turns out, she completely mis read the pregnancy tests and the next morning she rang me sobbing and was very embarrassed and was not pregnant. I spent the next week ringing her and making sure she was ok and she chose not to be present when I told our parents and siblings that week. Deep down I felt a bit resentful that she wasn’t making sure I was ok with my life changing news and she wasn’t a part of the happiness with the rest of our family.
Since then, she seems to pick and choose when she’s interested in the pregnancy and when she’s not. There’s been too many times to count that I’ve said something exciting, or told family members the news for the first time and she’s looked at the ground, or awkwardly leaves the room or just completely doesn’t answer me. I’ve ignored all of this. Earlier this week I was involved in a car accident where someone went into the back of my car. No one was seriously hurt, but naturally I’ve been very worried about the baby, am a bit shaken up and haven’t been sleeping. So, the other night she made a dig at me when I said how thirsty I’ve been and snapped at me about the fact she wouldn’t know because she’s not pregnant. I finally snapped back and told her to stop it, I tried to explain that it makes me feel like she’s not happy for me and she stormed off, told me I was insensitive and left. That night she sent me a horrible text saying that she looks at the ground because I’m so negative and that I’ve not said one positive thing about being pregnant and she’s sick of it when she’s so desperate to be pregnant – the text was also full of insults.– I’ve never said anything negative about actually being pregnant as I’ve wanted this for years but I have had a very difficult first trimester and have struggled with the sickness and fatigue so maybe have been a bit draining to be around. When I responded, I realised she’d blocked my number, she then took it further and blocked me on social media too which we have never done after any argument ever.
I feel really stressed about it all because she’s so stubborn and completely feels she is in the right. She may drag this out for weeks or even months and is supposed to be my chief bridesmaid. I feel that even if she does really want a baby, she shouldn’t be making me feel guilty for being pregnant first.