Struggling with baby

[mumtoababygirl]

I’m really struggling at the minute with my DD who is 5 and a half months old.

Her sleep is absolutely terrible, she barely sleeps at night or in the day and she’s almost impossible to put down. She won’t take a dummy, a bottle or cup (of formula or breast milk, from me or anyone else), she’s in a bit of a grizzly phase at the minute where she’s just crying and whimpering a lot for seemingly no reason, she wants to just feed all the time but her weight gain hasn’t been great and I have to take her for weigh ins and to see a dietitian.

I’m at my wits end, I feel so completely miserable and it’s making me be a rubbish mum to her. I can hardly smile at her, Ive forgotten how to talk to her or play with her. I know it’s not her fault, she’s just being a baby, but last night was our worst ever, and I did everything I needed to to take care of her except I felt angry (not at her but at the situation and I knew I was going to be exhausted today and I just felt so bitter about it) and I couldn’t give her any love, I couldn’t even look at her.

Growing up, I felt like no one loved me from a very young age and I’m terrified I’m now doing the same thing to her.

AIBU?

I think it’s normal to go through phases where you feel a bit disconnected from your baby and just struggle. Lack of sleep and feeling like you can’t make your baby happy are hard to deal with.
It’s good that you’re seeing people about her weight and feeding etc and hopefully things will improve.
Have you thought about sleep training? Not crying it out or anything harsh like that, but just helping her to learn to sleep without needing rocking or feeding each time. We did it at 6 months and moved our son into his own room at the same time which really helped his sleep. I also stopped feeding him to sleep, which meant that when he woke up in the night he didn’t need me to feed him to fall back to sleep. We just did a lovey bedtime routine and popped him in his crib and then would pat him and talk to him if he cried. There is more to it than that, but you have to find something that works for you.
All else I can say is that I absolutely promise you it will get better. I know it’s hard to see through to the other side when you’re in the thick of things, but this phase is temporary and will 100% improve.

You poor thing, it is very tough. You could persevere with bottles and dummies (I think she’s too young for a cup) as it can take a while for a baby to take to them and it’s worth trying different types and sizes of teats. Can anyone take her for a bit so you can have a break? You do love her and this will pass! The very fact you’re posting this shows how much you care.

you mentioned her struggling to take a feed or dummy. could she possibly be teething sending you a big massive hug

Go see your health visitor talk it thru

It’ll be better once she starts weaning. Has the dietician given you the ok yet? Ordinarily you could start now since NHS guidelines are around 6 months, which 5.5 months basically is… but since you’re under a dietician ask them. Once DH can give her a meal and water from her cup it’ll be a lot less pressure on you. And at 5.5 months you’re so very nearly there.

You could also think about some sleep training- there are gentler methods if cry based isn’t for you. But you sound like a wonderful and caring mum and your DD is really lucky to have you. Have you spoken to the HV recently about PND? The post natal period is so tough and it’s important to remember to check in on ourselves, especially when it comes to our mental health.

Could be dairy allergy

I hated this age - we sleep trained to help our little one fall asleep which helped naps and the night settling. after his first night wake for a bottle , we would cosleep so I didn't have to get up again and it helped him sleep more.

eventually he just stopped waking and slept through and wow wow wow , I could see the wood for the trees again.

this age is just survival mode in my opinion and it gets so much better shortly (I promise!)

Sending you best wishes.

My baby is the same age and everything is so much harder when you’ve had a bad night. I tend to go to bed at the same time as him, as early as 7pm to get in as many hours of sleep for myself as possible. Is this an option for you?

It will get better 💐