To expect being to BUTT out when I am trying to deal with my tantrunimg toddler

[horseshoe]

So DD2 -2 had an enormous tantrum today on the way back from school

She wanted to be carried, I am 38weeks pregnant - I had a puschair. She would neither go in the pushchair or walk and was throwing herself on the ground screaming.

She is double jointed and has no left arm and so it's not hard for her to escape pushchair straps.

I thought I held it together quite well but the amount of people who stopped to pass comments or tell me they would carry her. One Mum even drove her car slowly next to me watching. I ended up asking if her speedometer was broken!!

AIBU

I am rather embarrassed by the whole thing

Came home and cried!!! Bloody hormones

No YANBU some times peo0ple can be really insensitive. Poor you sending you a virtual hug

You are not at all unreasonable. I hate it when people try to butt in!

How bloody rude of some people

Have another hug (((hugs)))

Message withdrawn

YANBU.....at all!!!!

altho, being pregnant makes it all so much worse I think!!!

I pointedly ask them what their proplem is sometimes.....and then other times I wish for the ground to swollow me whole and then come home and cry.....more in anger at myself for not saying something so very cutting !

YANBU!!!!

They are BU!!!!

You poor thing.

A hug from me to. Its hard dealing with tanties at the best of times, when your pregnant they are the last thing you need. As for the lady in the car words fail me.

Someone in a supermarket told DD off for me (2, and tantrumming while I carried her - 39 wks pregnant) and I was really grateful as DD took some notice of her and calmed down. Made me cry though...It's great when they help, crap when they don't...

" cup of tea, trashy magazine and a bar of chocolate? "

People just get on your fecking tits don't they. either offer to help, of fuck off to your own perfect little world - fuming for you - fuckwits

YANBU. This has happened to me and I think what people see is not a mum managing the situation by not giving in to the tantrum but one who is not in control. Most mean well but they are usually irritating in the extreme as they offer to do the very thing you are holding out against.

yanbu, why should you give in to her , super nanny bloody well wouldn;t

plus i am only 20 weeks and can hardly pick up dd (2) anymore, and i quite rightly refuse to carry her if she has chosen to walk or if we have the buggy

YANBU but, I do wonder what the etiquette is when you see a poor mum dealing with a tantrum, mine are old enough to be past this now but, I still remember what it was like and how mortifying it was. And sometimes I'd like to stop and say to the mum, 'are you ok?' but I wouldn't dare. Because if someone had done that to me, I would have felt judged.
Anyone thoughts.

i normally just smile and roll my eyes in a been there kind of a way, and find that most people do that to me too if dd is playing up

One mum did walk past me and say "you cant give into them can you!!" That kind of made me feel better....she was sort of backing me up on what I was trying to do.

people staring make me feel like they are just waiting to see if I loose it or not!

i feel the same ranting....i so want to go over and help but know if someone did it to me i'd feel they thouight i couldn't cope or something!!

I dont think i've ever had anyone say anything to me, but i've had a lot of 'dissaproving' looks.

Oh god yes the looks and I remember quite a lot of tutting too.

I think the people offering to carry her were being kind
they saw you obviously couldn't do it yourself

Franny - I think the passers by were saying "I'd carry her if I were you" - I don't think they were offering to actually help.

Ranting - I would like to know if it would appear judgy if I offered to help too.

oh no I read it completely differently! I thought it meant "shall I carry her for you?"

Twice last week, I had to try and get a tantruming dd1 home whilst pushing dd2 in her buggy.

Once when DS was about 12 weeks old we had to pop to the shop and he woke up while I was there and started crying. A few old woman complained that he was ruining their shopping and that children should be seen and not heard. Someone actually complained to the manager about me. She told the old woman to stop being so nasty.

I think people should keep their thoughts to themselves.