Page 2 | Managers opting out of secret Santa

spanieleyes22 · 2024-11-28T01:47:24+00:00

Just to say I really don't care about this but just wanted some opinions. I have 4 joint managers- I know def top heavy. One of them said today in our weekly meeting that the top boss had said would we like to do the usual secret Santa. Did it last year. 3 out of the 4 managers said no they didn't want to be involved. Morale is pretty low at the moment anyway and I just thought it was a bit grinch like. I suppose on one way I admire them for just saying no lol. I'm not mad on it either but take part to show willing and try and be a friendly team member iukwim .

christmasnotchristmust · 02/12/2024 18:50

mondaytosunday · 28/11/2024 02:30

I think a larger group of people I wouldn't want to do it (I can't actually recall ever doing it myself). But I've only worked in large departments.
My son works at a very small firm, the owner. two managing assistants, about three other sales staff and three admin plus my son, by far the youngest (by decades). They do secret Santa every year and as they are so small they all know each other well. They are taken out for a nice dinner and do the gifts. My son really enjoys buying a special something and it makes him feel part of the group. He always ups the budget should he get the boss though!

He always ups the budget should he get the boss though!

🤮

Vaxtable · 02/12/2024 18:53

I always opt out. Absolutely hate secret Santa. The crap I have had over the years that’s gone straight into the bin, or the ‘joke presents’ which were not a joke but pointed bullying. I lasted about 3 years then never again

74Violette · 03/12/2024 06:28

Most of us at my workplace love to do Secret Santa. We make it so that you can put your name down on a sheet if you want to take part, there's no obligation. A few opt out, usually the men. Our budget is no more than a £10 spend.

We all know each other well so most of the time, everyone is happy enough with what they get.

nellly · 03/12/2024 06:36

spanieleyes22 · 28/11/2024 02:17

Yeh I know what you mean. There's an awful culture where I work with the managers never socializing with the "underlings". I thought it might change after the restructure but it seems endemic. We were asked to all come in last Tuesday so the new team could get to know each other. Managers never came near us for the whole day. Sat at a separate table as dar away from us as possible. There's a little seating area in the kitchen now. The 4 of them were sitting there having lunch laughing and roaring . I went in to get a spoon for my own lunch but they just ignored me. Then on our meeting today they were saying what a great day it was for the team. Anyway. Just gives me the ick tbh!!!

See i think I'd like your workplace lol I hate when managers are chummy it just blurs likes and you never quite know where you stand.

I've seen colleagues be really personally affronted when challenged (very politely and professionally) by managers for poor work because they thought they were friends

daisychain01 · 03/12/2024 06:44

Your managers have chosen not to socialise with staff because they need to keep one step removed and stay objective. They cannot do that if they're pally pally socialising with the teams. That isnt toxic, its a good thing. They dont have to be everyone'sfriend and it can lead to favouritism.

I don't blame them for not doing Secret Santa. It's just more pressure and obligation for people to spend money they don't want to.

Superhansrantowindsor · 03/12/2024 06:45

Work secret Santa is a PITA. I’ve enough to do buying for family. I normally get something I don’t really need or want.

Gillettethebest · 03/12/2024 06:53

I opted out my work secret Santa. I really can’t be bothered with that forced kind of giving. I don’t mind secret Santa within a group of friends to cut costs but not with work colleagues who you may not be friendly with.

MayaPinion · 03/12/2024 06:59

Secret Santa is crap. The gifts are always just tat. I’d think more of the managers if they forked out for a buffet or some cakes so everyone could share a Christmas lunch or something but really, nobody needs another Magic 8 ball or a mug with Office Bitch written on it.

Dimpliy · 03/12/2024 07:01

The managers sound awful, I think it’s good they opt out so staff don’t have to buy a present for them.

I like SS, ours is £5 this year and I enjoy a challenge.

Can you send an anonymous note to the top boss about the behaviour of the 4 managers? Not the SS, but about the cliquey behaviour, sitting away from everyone, not talking etc.

Dimpliy · 03/12/2024 07:03

daisychain01 · 03/12/2024 06:44

Your managers have chosen not to socialise with staff because they need to keep one step removed and stay objective. They cannot do that if they're pally pally socialising with the teams. That isnt toxic, its a good thing. They dont have to be everyone'sfriend and it can lead to favouritism.

I don't blame them for not doing Secret Santa. It's just more pressure and obligation for people to spend money they don't want to.

Of course you can socialise with staff and remain objective.

What industry do you work in? Your view of the workplace is so different than my own.

PermanentTemporary · 03/12/2024 07:11

Relationships with management sound poor I agree but I think Secret Santa is a distraction.

You could raise relationship issues with them in a 1:1 maybe. Try to build bridges. But not about SS.

BlackChunkyBoots · 03/12/2024 07:11

At my workplace it's absolutely a personal choice to be involved. I am involved this year. Last year I got a lovely present so want to pay it forward. The organiser uses a website where participants can put down ideas in case you don't know them well, which is a good idea.

ACynicalDad · 03/12/2024 07:14

Enforced, organised fun, WHAT JOY! Often money wasted on cheap tat that’s ‘funny’ but will go to landfill. Save us.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 03/12/2024 07:47

TheGretaGarboHomeForWaywardBoysAndGirls · 28/11/2024 01:52

I hate workplace secret santa, I would be relieved.

Me too.

FarmGirl78 · 03/12/2024 08:26

I've never ever worked somewhere that Secret Santa is announced by the Top Boss and is opt out rather than opt in. How bizarre!

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 03/12/2024 09:36

I'm a manager. I don't like office Secret Santas, but if I was asked to participate I would. I wouldn't want to be considered " too posh" to muck in with the rest of the staff.

mrlistersgelfbride · 03/12/2024 10:35

I was new at my job last Christmas so I opted in to the secret Santa thinking that most people did it.
There was 15 of us of a department of about 50 and I got the most generic tat imaginable ... and
I don't need any help in the 'need more tat' department 🤣

I'll join in with anything but I've got enough to do buying for family and my DDs a December baby. So this year I'll opt out!
You can too.
Don't take it personally. Whilst it can be fun, it's optional. People have enough to do 😊

another1bitestheduck · 03/12/2024 11:03

Happyinarcon · 28/11/2024 03:50

I’m a bit confused as to why secret Santa is taking up so much headspace for British people right now. According to mumsnet people are worried about mother in laws at Xmas, secret Santa, and being wiped out in world war 3

what an odd comment. You're surprised that secret santa is being discussed more often in December than in the rest of the year? No obvious link there?
And then further shocked that people are discussing secret santa...on a thread specifically about secret santa?

As another one who hates it I think fair enough on the managers. If they had opted in it would just have been another example like the team day - where they use it as a paper exercise to 'prove' that they are trying to bond with the team while actually being more divisive. They do sound pretty crap managers though.

Portakalkedi · 03/12/2024 11:30

Take it as a sign to stop the secret santa thing altogether. I'm sure nobody really wants it, and it perpetuates another endless round of unwanted tat.

daisychain01 · 03/12/2024 12:49

Dimpliy · 03/12/2024 07:03

Of course you can socialise with staff and remain objective.

What industry do you work in? Your view of the workplace is so different than my own.

Show quote history

Managers can do what they decide to do, they can make whatever choices they wish to.

My point is that i don't agree with the OPs point that choosing not to socialise with staff is a bad thing. Nothing to do with industry sector, I've worked in many diverse sectors, have a successful career, and a very productive content team because they know where they stand with me.

we don't need the superficiality of Secret Santa's or team building (both of which are universally loathed on here and rightly so) to be happy at work.

Dimpliy · 03/12/2024 13:22

daisychain01 · 03/12/2024 12:49

Managers can do what they decide to do, they can make whatever choices they wish to.

My point is that i don't agree with the OPs point that choosing not to socialise with staff is a bad thing. Nothing to do with industry sector, I've worked in many diverse sectors, have a successful career, and a very productive content team because they know where they stand with me.

we don't need the superficiality of Secret Santa's or team building (both of which are universally loathed on here and rightly so) to be happy at work.

Show quote history

Yeah but you specifically said managers need to 'keep one step removed and stay objective. They cannot do that if they're pally pally socialising with the teams.'

This would be a really strange view point in my industry,

christmasnotchristmust · 03/12/2024 20:31

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 03/12/2024 09:36

I'm a manager. I don't like office Secret Santas, but if I was asked to participate I would. I wouldn't want to be considered " too posh" to muck in with the rest of the staff.

👍🏼 #nottooposh

Coffeemmmmcoffee · 03/12/2024 20:41

I’m a manager

We have three SS running at the moment in my workplace ffs!

Two are very much opt in so I havent.

The main one is rather assumed everyone will be involved so I have. I have however also been very clear and jolly each year that I love biscuits so that would be my ideal SS so hopefully it’s not stressful for anyone who picks me and I give the same relatively non personal gift each year to whoever I pick.

Yes it makes me look a bit unimaginative and dull but no one can ever feel I’m treating them more or less fairly than anyone I’ve picked in other years etc.
Bloody minefield but you do what you got to do!