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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lied about STD symptoms?

17 replies

Rolooo · 27/11/2024 22:37

Hi everyone
I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now.
Since we got together, I've had thrush three times, and a suspected, persistent UTI which I currently have. I've taken two different types of antibiotics from the pharmacist and I'm off to the GP now as neither have worked.

Anyway, two months ago, I started thinking that the thrush I was getting was weird. I was also getting pain during sex sometimes. My boyfriend is quite big so I spoke to him and we just put it down to being too rough. I've asked him multiple times since the end of September if everything's ok with him down there as I was suspecting an STD. He said he was fine so i ruled it out.

On Sunday however, he told me he had a pain in his balls that's been getting worse for the past few weeks. He said it's been going on for about 9 months now. He's been to the doctor today and she said it's either caused by an STD or UTI and she ruled out a UTI on the day and told him to get tested for STDs.

Now I'm worried that this UTI is actually just an STD that's getting worse and showing symptoms as I must've had it since we got together. Would explain why the antibiotics aren't working. I've not ordered an at home STD test that could've been ordered a few months ago if he had been honest.

Am I right to feel annoyed that he wasn't honest with me that he actually had symptoms? I asked him multiple times on different days if there was anything up with him and he said no. If he'd even mentioned the pain, I would've gone to get tested.

OP posts:
eRobin · 27/11/2024 22:42

He risked your sexual health, what a cunt

AnotherDayComeMonday · 27/11/2024 22:42

Of course you should be annoyed. Also with the fact that he is too rough.

gamerchick · 27/11/2024 22:44

Go to the GUM clinic for a full screen OP. You're risking your fertility and developing PID. Do it asap.

Joey699 · 27/11/2024 22:47

Sounds like he might have epididymitis, both of you need an STI check

StormingNorman · 27/11/2024 22:47

You suspected he had given you an STD and kept on having sex with him? You need to get tested.

Apsndbd · 27/11/2024 22:47

Rather than order an online std test go to a clinic; it might be BV or another similar infection that they can get the results for there and then but aren’t tested for through the postal ones. I know it feels awkward but it’s better and quicker
But yes he’s a prick and I wouldn’t trust him; always a good idea to make someone get tested at the beginning of a relationship though and get tested yourself as men often get no symptoms of chlamydia

Onlyvisiting · 27/11/2024 22:47

Yes you should be annoyed. But why didn't you both get tested before having regular unprotected sex?

Rolooo · 27/11/2024 22:48

StormingNorman · 27/11/2024 22:47

You suspected he had given you an STD and kept on having sex with him? You need to get tested.

Well he wasn't showing any symptoms and all my symptoms can be put down to thrush and a UTI. Only now he's told me on Sunday he has symptoms

OP posts:
gamerchick · 27/11/2024 22:54

Rolooo · 27/11/2024 22:48

Well he wasn't showing any symptoms and all my symptoms can be put down to thrush and a UTI. Only now he's told me on Sunday he has symptoms

Ah dude.

When you're in a new relationship and want to go bare back, you always both get tested first. You can't rely on symptoms.

Just go to the clinic, they'll sort you out.

Noseybookworm · 27/11/2024 23:07

Stop having sex with him and go to an STI clinic and get tested for everything. I'd be very pissed off that he's been having symptoms and has repeatedly denied it when you've asked. I don't think I'd trust him again to be honest 😕

SprinkleCake · 27/11/2024 23:09

I constantly had reoccurring thrush and UTIs with one ex partner, I’d have them treated and they would come back. I also kept getting BV - the whole thing was a vicious nightmare.

All STD checks came back clear but every symptom cleared up as soon as I stopped having sex with him.

Rolooo · 27/11/2024 23:11

Noseybookworm · 27/11/2024 23:07

Stop having sex with him and go to an STI clinic and get tested for everything. I'd be very pissed off that he's been having symptoms and has repeatedly denied it when you've asked. I don't think I'd trust him again to be honest 😕

He's trying to say he 'doesn't know why he didn't mention it' as it had been 'on and off' and he 'hadn't got round to sorting it'

How can you ignore a pain like that? But then he's such a lovely boyfriend in all other ways I can't help but think maybe he's just been a bit dim and didn't think it was relevant to mention. I don't know...

OP posts:
Noseybookworm · 27/11/2024 23:14

Rolooo · 27/11/2024 23:11

He's trying to say he 'doesn't know why he didn't mention it' as it had been 'on and off' and he 'hadn't got round to sorting it'

How can you ignore a pain like that? But then he's such a lovely boyfriend in all other ways I can't help but think maybe he's just been a bit dim and didn't think it was relevant to mention. I don't know...

Maybe he was a bit scared or embarrassed? Doesn't excuse not doing anything about it though. He's a grown man!

CurlyCabbage · 27/11/2024 23:30

Some people are unsure of the symptoms of STIs. He might've put the pain down to something else. Some people only worry when they get a discharge or lesions.

healthybychristmas · 27/11/2024 23:39

I have exactly the same with a steady boyfriend. he was cheating on me and although it was only thrush I was getting it repeatedly no matter what I was taking for it.

Guest100 · 27/11/2024 23:42

If you stay with him, you can’t have unprotected sex with him again.

mediumdicketh · 12/03/2025 19:56

Ew men cheating how can sum one be good if they can't acknowledge a std

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