Been scammed and want a hand hold

[fuckthemail]

Just that really. It's not life changing. I've lost a little bit of money but not loads. But the whole experience has made me so anxious. I confronted the company about it who treated me like shit and basically deny it. I will obviously report them to trading standards but that's not my AIBU.

My AIBU is AIBU for this to have had such an impact on me. It happened a week ago and I'm finding it hard to sleep, thinking about it all the time. Horrible. I just want to get back to forgetting this happened but finding it hard to move past. Thanks all

no, you’re not being unreasonable at all. Everything affects everyone in different ways, and fraud is a particularly upsetting thing to go through.

Did you pay by card? If so then your bank may be able to help. I work in fraud for a high street bank, we refund customers all the time for fraud relating to card payments and APP scams.

That's normal. Insomnia, lurching sensations, doubting yourself, berating yourself, embarrassment, anger, futility, loss of confidence, feeling violated, shakiness, loss of trust, all totally normal. Even if it's only a small sum, the fact of it alone is enough to mess with your head for a bit. It'll all shake down after a while and you'll come to a balanced perspective on what happened, on them, and on yourself, but don't beat yourself up for having strong feelings about it.

Edit: not necessarily all of them! It's also normal if you don't have anger, or don't have self-blame, or whatever.

Thank you ♥️

You’ll forget it in time. Let it go. I had a ton of money stolen, thousands, I no longer think about it or stress about it. Money it comes and goes one way or another.

OP that sounds awful, is there anything any of us can help with? What kind of scam?

Thank you you're all very kind. I'm sorry to the poster who lost thousands, your post really puts my situation into perspective. Honestly there's nothing to be done now, and it wasn't loads of money, but I feel sad and ashamed and cross and angry definitely. I also still need to use the company's services for the foreseeable future. Obviously I'll be careful in my dealings with them now but it's just upsetting to have to keep dealing with them anyway

I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sure you feel violated, and angry this happened to you. It’s totally understandable.
Can you give them negative reviews online - comment on their Facebook or Twitter posts for example? That will impact them, as well as complaining to trading standards?
Be kind to yourself.

It's a really common reaction to feel all sorts of horrible emotions when you're scammed. Even if it's only a few quid. I've been robbed before where no money was taken, but just the fact they snatched my bag with my things sent me into a real state. It felt worse than being robbed of all my possessions including passport which has also happened a couple of times. I'm pretty unlucky I guess!

Please know you did nothing wrong. It wasn't personal against you at all and happens sadly all the time. What's really annoying as I always feel that most of them manage to get away with it.

My mum was scammed for £3.5k, the money was taken by a Turkish restaurant. They tried to take a further 7k but it was blocked. I told the police that seems like a hell of a lot of kebabs for someone to be buying? They claimed they were going there to 'investigate' but I never heard from them again.

I hope you feel better soon. It's horrible but the feelings you're having will pass, I promise x

I was scammed a few weeks ago. It engulfed my every thought for a good few weeks afterwards. I was so embarrassed and cross with myself as i considered myself to be careful and wise to these things.

Thankfully Halifax declined the transactions as it was ‘unusual activity’ on the account, It still sends a shiver down my spine how much the ‘customer service representative’ knew about me and my husband. I didn’t lose a penny and the support from the bank was excellent, but it has affected me terribly.

Why are you continuing to use the services of a company who scammed you? How did they scam you?

You need to report it to action fraud as they will build up a case against the people who did this

I know that feeling so well - my credit card was cloned and my mobile phone account hacked (the fraudsters got a sim for my account) so they could authorise the payments.
£10k was spent on my credit card. It took weeks to sort out and it made me feel ill even though I had done nothing wrong. I just felt violated. I would spend hours trying to think how they got my details and I couldn't sleep for worrying whether something else would come up. I became obsessed - changed my bank, phone number and provider, email accounts, everything. It took over my life for about 6 months.

I am ok now but I cleared out some paperwork recently which included some of the correspondence and it still turns my stomach.

This. Surely if you know you've been scammed you wouldn't want to enter into further engagement with them?

I don't understand why you're calling it a "scam" - if the company is still in business and they've failed to give you the service or goods you've paid for, why don't you take them to the small claims court.

I found this so very helpful when going through similar which really upset me https://www.lifepathscounseling.com/emotional-support-fraud-scams/. Hope you feel better soon. 💐

What do you mean you got "scammed" by a company you're still using? What actually happened?

This helped so much thank you

Thanks all and so sorry again to others who shared their experiences. I won't go in to more detail here as I only wanted help with the feelings bit, so many of you have helped me a lot with that and I'm very grateful to you

I'm sorry you were scammed OP; I was scammed a couple of years ago when I sold my phone on Facebook marketplace. The buyer came into my house and caught me off guard as I'd had a couple of wines - told me that they'd bank transfer the money, and when it didn't go in straight away, said it would be in soon - and I let them take the phone. It was worth around £700, and I really needed the money! Could have kicked myself to be honest, and it played on my mind for a while after that. You can't change what's happened, but you can change what you do going forward.

If z company has scammed you as you claim why on earth would you continue to use the same company surely thzts asking for trouble a'd weakrns any claim you have about being apparently scammed doesn't make any sense

Doesn't sound like it was a scam in the true sense of the word, where the op had money stolen. Maybe she's using builders who've overcharged or something like that? So she's got to let them finish the job?

I think a lot of people use the word "scam" when they have recieved Customer Service below the standard they expect.
You may not be happy with how this company has behaved OP but that doesn't make it a scam