To worry that my red haired child will grow up with a complex

[Cappuccinowithonesugarplease]

I will start off by saying I adore DS3's hair colour. Neither DH or I have red hair so this was a complete surprise.
We live in a European country where most people are dark haired.
Our DS is 2 and when we are out and about there are people commenting on his hair, stroking it, someone in a supermarket took a photo without permission to 'show his family' and this summer one person even pointed and said in her own language 'what a white child'!
I know in the uk during my childhood in the 90s there was a fair amount of bullying, but i do worry a bit here that he will be singled our or bullied because of his hair colour. I want him to embrace his natural colouring. His older brother is 7 and goes to school with no problems so I hope I'm just overthinking it.

I actually think outside of the UK is likely to be better tbh. I imagine there'll be comments because it's unusual but not playground taunts in the same way.

I hope this will be the case.

Red hair is beautiful. Embrace it and don't give your dc a complex.

I have two beautiful red haired grandchildren and have only heard very positive comments about their lovely hair, and certainly they haven't had any negative experiences at school (well, not concerning hair colour anyway!!!)

My observation is that bullying for red hair (like most differences) has decreased significantly in UK in the last 30 years. It's just not an issue.

I have three kids and my third is also very red-headed. He has never been bullied or teased - but we are in Scotland and he is very much not alone in his red headed-ness. We did take him to Portugal as a baby and he got a LOT of attention from the old ladies, but never in a negative way, they kept telling me how "bonito" he was.

If you are in a society where people are going to comment then as he grows up you will have to help him deal with that, saying "don't be rude" will help! People do comment on babies in ways they wouldn't ever comment on older children though. Don't stress about it. He is unique and his red hair will set him apart in a good way.

In primaries any negative comments obviously come from the parents because no child thinks a red haired child is any different. Teachers come down on any sort of name calling very hard. As someone who worked in a school we tell them never to make a comment about someone's appearance (to include hair, body shape, coat, shoes, lunch bag, water bottle) unless it is positive and complimentary and we tried to model that too.

I did have a red haired child in class and everyone thought his hair was lovely because no one else had it. I told him I would love to have his hair colour, and I really would as did other members of staff.

Make it into a positive. He obviously is going to have to get used to people going on about it. Each time someone comes up and says something rather than looking annoyed or awkward. Say "thank you we love it" and when they walk away tell him "your hair is so amazing!". It's going to be a thing so make it a good thing.

DD is a red head. She's 10 now. She does get stopped all the time and told how gorgeous it is and she does get annoyed by it! But she's never had a negative word said about it. I was worried she would get negative comments as DSis is a red head and I remember her getting some awful comments at school but maybe times have changed.

Dd3s best friend is a redhead. They are now 21 met age 3-4. it has only ever been a positive thing. People love her red ginger hair.. now at 21 it has mellowed down to this gorgeous red blonde. She is stunning. She embraces her red hair and has never been bullied over it. I've always loved her hair. (And her as a person but not thr point of the thread)

But in 16 years of knowing this girl and being close to the family (her mum is one of my best friends) living in the SE this has never been a thing.

It has all been very positive so far although the guy taking a photo wasn't cool in my books! Im sure it wasn't meant in a bad way though.

My DS has red hair and now at 19 a matching beard.
He absolutely owns it and is happily known as ‘The Ginger King’ mainly because at school he went round checking the younger redheads were all ok and not being teased.

Love that!

This is hilarious! I’m picturing a pied piper with a string of ginger kids following him!

Yes, that’s what I picture as well. In year 11 he used to call himself ‘lord and protector of all things ginge’. The daft sod.
To be fair to him, I did once have another mother come and thank me as he stepped in to support a boy in my daughter’s year.

This is awesome.
There is a guy on Instagram called Owen Janes who does all this viking cosplay and ads for beard taming products. He has the most amazing red beard and long hair!

DS can’t quite grow the full Viking beard yet but he’s working on it.
I remember being so worried when he was born that people would be unkind to him but I really didn’t need to worry.

How lovely - I’d be very proud of him!

I make knitted hand puppets of ‘professionals’ (social worker, teacher, doctor, nurse etc.) for a charity that distributes them to children’s therapists - sadly there’s a huge demand. And at least one in every set of mine will always have red/ginger hair.

my DS2 has bright orange hair, everyone used to comment on it when he was younger,,,,, and he refuses to get it cut. he is also very pale skin - very much as I was when i was a child, I got so bullied for being a ginge. Ironically enough - the girls that bullied me actually dyed their hair copper after leaving school. There was one guy who had my life through school and I seen him when I was out aged about 20 and he tried to start calling me names in a pub - he wore my drink well.

It has never been an issue with DS, he very much embraces his hair and skin. A lot of people are different to when I was young, wear much more out there clothes, dye their hair all different colours, everyone is their own person, I don't think you need to worry

Bullying for red hair is a 80s/90s phenomena started by some tit of a presenter who thought it was funny and it got picked up for a generation. I’m so glad it’s finally over

60 year old redhead with plenty of red haired cousins and nephews so saw the change through a couple of generations

People being bullied for red hair is dying/has died out now ime.

My DS has beautiful red hair. As a baby, someone would comment (positively!) EVERY time we left the house. I actually worried my other DC would get jealous. It started to tail off once he was a bit older and 'busy toddler' not 'cute baby'. He's school age now and proud of his orange hair as it makes him more unique (only 1 in his class).

As a parent it is well within your power to create a positive self-image about his beautiful hair! It shouldn't take too much. I've done this for my kids. If he has positive feelings about his hair, and you interpret positive attention in terms of others recognizing how special it is, then when he encounters negativity you can let him know people are sometimes weird and their judgements don't need to be our concern. This is a lesson every kid is going to have to learn at some stage.

Red haired bullying is based in anti Irish and Scots racism in England. You will experience alot less of it in another country although there is more likely to be interest in it if it is unusual. It also happens alot less in English schools compared to when I went to school, DDs hair is titian and rarely gets comments on it.

If you and DH both have dark hair then it is a sign that he has a good mix of genes as both you and DH had to pass on the recessive red gene which bodes well for other things as genetic diversity is important.

I find I tend to gush over his hair in photos in a very overly positive way but started to hold back in case when he gets older and sees it he finds it too much , I'm always calling him my little viking etc, because I love his hair. I'm just mindful that some might view my comments as obsessive!