Rock bottom

[rockbottom2]

If you have lost absolutely everything did you come back from it. In the space of 6 months I've lost my business, now in huge debt, my father is dying and my husband walked out. I need to hear your stories. I am in freeze mode right now and don't know which way to turn.

I'm so sorry, that sounds incredibly frightening for you. Is the debt shared with your husband? Is it possible for you to stay at your father's place? I really hope everything goes well with your father and that you are with him at the end if that's what you want. 💐

I hope you’re OK, I’m in a similar situation life wise without the breavement - there has always been another throw at the dice but I think I’ve had the last, it could be the end, wishing you all the very best x

Hi, I was so sorry to hear about your situation. I am sending hugs to you.

I am so sorry.

Freeze is ok. That means your body still knows what to do; you're most likely operating in the safest possible way for your current circumstances. Trust your body; it usually knows what it needs. Rest. Don't add pressure. There are seasons. Be kind to yourself. You will get through this. 18 months ago I could barely speak. even now I can't explain all the things that seemed so important. I'm still here. I have more hope than ever. And I genuinely believe that if all those things hadn't happened the path I'm on now would not have been possible. Long way to go, but I look back on that time and know it was worth it. I don't know what you're going through, but just be kind to yourself and keep going. And writing/chatting helps. Keep going. Baby steps.

Thank you everyone. Has anyone got any strategies of how to rebuild. Anything that you did or advice on how I can see light at the end of the tunnel? I'm just clinging on at the mo.

That sounds so tough OP.

My first thought would be to speak to Citizen Advice and/or a debt charity about the money issues so they can help you put a plan together and help liaise with creditors.

Your husband has walked out: are you divorcing? what are the financial arrangement for this? who is getting the house? get legal advice.

I would also speak to your GP if you feel like you are reached a point where you are depressed and have problem sleeping/functioning.

Are there any family members that can support you with your father?

I had an incredibly tough time last year ( a combination of long term health issues, assault, having to move to a completely new town and problems with my new property, work not being supportive when I had time off after a complete breakdown, family estrangement, basically it was relentless...).

I think what helped was to admit that I was struggling and start getting support from my GP, the mental health crisis team and Citizen Advice and trying to deal with each problem one at a time. A couple of friends also really stepped up and regularly checked on me when I was at my worst after I admitted to them how much I was struggling.

I am much better a year on but at the time I really could not see the light at the end of the tunnel!

I also found that listening to 10 minute guided meditation on YouTube to start each day helped with my anxiety and also writing my thoughts in a diary every day, no matter how messy they are :). I also started a little blog to share my journey out of that hole:
https://greenmermaidcottage.blogspot.com/search/label/About%20me

When I divorced I found out my husband has remortgaged the house being my back and I was left with over £59k debt p,us my divorce fees of £22k. I was homeless and lived in air BnB for ages until I found a room in a shared house for me and my cat, I was 45 btw. Fast forward 12 years, I am still renting, my fault for living in Brighton! Have paid off all the debts and gave a lovely new partner.

Best thing I did was contact Payplan who negotiated with everyone I owed money to. Froze the interest and got them to reduce debt to pennies in the pound. I paid back about £22k over 4 years. This has dropped off my credit report now and I have a top credit score. Would advise starting there.

I am so sorry for you all who have been at the bottom of the sea. My husband has walked out as he can't cope with the stress of it all. I set up this business to work around my children and I've now ended up in more debt that if I'd worked and put them in nursery full time. I have worked so hard and it's all falling apart. How do I make peace with this! I don't want to feel angry and resentful for the rest of my life. I'm snapping at the kids and I'm generally just pure misery to be around. Thank you for reading.

Hello, I wanted to come back on here as I was weirdly scrolling Mumsnet with my friend and thought I’d pop back on to update you.

i am currently in a 5 star hotel about to do a huge photoshoot tomorrow with my products after my business got acquired in the summer. I dug so deep to get my business sold and over the line of an acquisition it nearly killed me. But I’m here, not believing what I’m doing and I am so fucking proud of myself for getting to this point I am today. If anyone is going through hell. You WILL get through it. Look back and go, Jesus Christ, I am a fucking baddie!

When my life fell apart the thing that helped most was hypnotherapy for bringing calm ficus back into my life. Sending love and hugs. This too will pass. Xx

Well done @rockbottom2 that's an awesome update!

So pleased for you @rockbottom2 ! You ended up being your own inspiration! I'm quite interested in what the shoot looks like?

Good on you and best of luck for the future x