To be hurt that this is his response to our anniversary?

[EvieR]

I'm not married, for the record, but today is the day me and my boyfriend had our first date a year ago.

We hadn't really planned to do anything but I just basically said on Whatsapp something along the lines of 'we met on this day a year ago, a walk along the river and x, y, z' with some kisses.

He added a laughing emoji to my sweet message.

That's it. And said he's having a busy day at work. AIBU to feel hurt and say something?

😂

I assume he thinks it's funny that I think it matters to mark the day. Because nothing I said was funny.

This is all about expectations not being met but have you voiced them? Dh and I do a little nod to the day we met (28 years ago) and then celebrate our wedding anniversary but this was agreed between us. Before we were married then yes we celebrated our getting together anniversaries but again we talked about what we should do on that day before it arrived.

He hasn't ignored your message and responded, no eye roll emoji etc. Going forward think about what it is you want and talk to him. It is up to you two to agree to how you will acknowledge these things going forward. It is about communicating your wants and needs.

It's a bit cringey.

This is not a conversation to have when your boyfriend is at work.

I don't even care about going for a dinner or anything really

We've both been so busy we're like ships passing in the night. I suppose I just wanted him to say something sweet and acknowledge it.

Gently, I think this more of a gal thing than a guy thing and no reflection on your boyfriend.

Let it go.

I don't see why. Maybe it is for some.

I think he just didn't know what to say back, I wouldn't either!! Had you discussed the anniversary or your expectations in advance?

No we hadn't discussed expectations in advance.

But usually if I say something sweet he replies with hearts or kisses. He's making it clearly he finds this silly.

He could be really busy and have accidentally responded with the wrong emoji. Talk to him before you reach any conclusions.

@TheRibbonsMary that's all I wanted, a nod to the day or to say something back.

Jumping ahead a bit OP. It’s only 1pm, so perhaps he had plans for later to surprise you.

I suppose maybe men don't care.

Well he might find it silly but then you talk and tell him this is important to you just like to lots of men if their football team wins is important to them. Hopefully he understands that it is a completely normal thing to do to acknowledge a year to the day after you met.

This is not a "gal" thing FFS, both my husband and my BIL are lovely, sweet, kind, gift giving men. I also know lots of other husbands/boyfriends who do lovely things for their partners on anniversaries.

But how is he supposed to know that's what you wanted? Celebrating the anniversary of when you started dating isn't really a universal thing. It wouldn't even occur to a lot of people to acknowledge it. DP and I have been together for 21 years and we've never done anything more for our 'anniversary' than just acknowledge it with a 'Blimey, I think we've been together X number of years today' - or more likely 'Blimey, I've just realised last Thursday was the X anniversary of when we got together. So your boyfriend probably doesn't even realise that you're expecting it to be 'a thing'.

I certainly wouldn't expect lovey-dovey sweet responses re. your 'anniversary' when he's at work.

Care about what, though? He cares about you or you wouldn’t still be with him, I hope. Does he love you? Does he remember your birthday? Tbh this isn’t a particularly significant date imv.

It’s a daft, made-up ‘anniversary’ and his response was perfect.

How is it made up?

My DH always remembers our anniversary of getting together and married. So yeah I would have been upset with that response.

Because not all occurences deserve anniversaries.

Some of us are just not bothered about anniversaries. I forget my wedding anniversary every year. It's no big deal.

How old are you?

I've seen people use the laughing emoji as a big grin, I think you're over analysing it.

I think the response from @Elphamouche proves some people do care.

@LadyQuackBeth nah I know him! He only uses it when he thinks I'm being silly.