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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to keep my cat inside?

16 replies

helptodecide · 26/11/2024 10:14

I have a rescue cat who I’ve had since February. He’s my first cat! Previously to that he was a stray/feral and he’s had a huge number of health problems that we have under control now (I’m a vet), but he still takes daily medication. For the first few months he lived with us he was quite poorly but he’s much better now. I’m guessing him to be around 8YO. Anyway, we used to live in a flat so he was indoor only (and seemed absolutely fine with this) but a couple of months ago we moved into a house on an estate. A couple of weeks ago he escaped out of the front door and went missing for nearly 48 hours. We only got him back because I went outside calling him at 5am and found him in the neighbours garden. I was beside myself with worry whilst he was gone, it was awful. He is such an affectionate cat and keeps me company as my DP works away a lot, I was really lost without him!

I do feel like he would like access to the outdoors. He does sometimes go to the door and ask to go out, only occasionally so he is definitely not distressed indoors, but I’m sure he would like to explore. However I’m worried, as as far as I know he has always been a stray and I have no idea how long he would be likely to go out for at once/how far he would roam. He’s also on daily meds which he could miss for a night or so but if he went missing for a few days he would start to become poorly. If I knew he would just head out, potter around our road then come back in a couple of hours of course I would let him out. The other thing is me and my DP both work out of the house all day so we would have to get a cat flap as neither of us would be around to let him in during the day. Without a cat flap I would worry about no one being in when he tried to return.

I just don’t know what to do for the best. I’m a vet so I do know a lot about cats, but I’ve never actually had a cat so the owning one side of things is new to me😂

OP posts:
Stickytreacle · 26/11/2024 10:49

I know the stress a missing cat can cause, and the risks associated with being out, it is a genuine and valid concern. I find the best compromise is to either cat proof the garden or have a decent sized catio. Enrichment is important, so lots of things to occupy them, hiding places etc help.
I have 11 cats, all ex ferals, three come and go outdoors as they please, but the rest are quite happy indoors and several refuse to go out. They all enjoy the catio though.

Octavia64 · 26/11/2024 10:50

Put a tracker on him. Then you know where he is.

Alternatively catio.

Stickytreacle · 26/11/2024 10:51

Just to add that if yours is on daily meds I would keep in anyway.

Stickytreacle · 26/11/2024 10:53

Also with trackers they require a collar, which can cause awful injuries, even the breakaway ones, and when I tried one many years ago we would find the collar and tracker, but no cat!

Singleandproud · 26/11/2024 10:56

In the summer go out and sit in the garden with him, most don't stray when you are with them too. And train him to come back when you shake a tin of dreamies.

My cats are happy to being in the winter but they do like to roam in the nice weather

Snowxmas · 26/11/2024 10:59

I think you need to let him out.

Rainbow321 · 26/11/2024 11:01

Our cat is an indoor cat , the only time she goes out of the house is a visit to the vets for anything.
We kept her in from a kitten and she shows no sign at all that she would want to go out .
In the summer we often keep the utility door open to the garden and the door into the kitchen closed. On a few occasions she has been in the utility room without our knowledge ( so essentially trapped in there with the door open and once we realise she is missing from the house we find her in the utility asleep on the towels having shown no inclination to go out.
If a cat is like that , then an indoor one is ok , but if it is always trying to find a way out then perhaps have your garden cat proofed so it can't wander far.

Whiskeyandkittens · 26/11/2024 11:04

Our cats are indoor only and aren't even bothered about going out. One of them once snuck out behind me when I was putting the bins out and he just followed me straight back in again and hasn't tried since!

So long as he has lots of cat stuff to do inside - we have plenty of toys, cat trees, shelves they can climb etc - he'll be fine.

mimblewimble · 26/11/2024 11:06

If it wasn't for the daily meds I'd say definitely let him out. Ours is a rescue who had never had a home, and when we first let him out he disappeared for a long time but we found him and it never happened again.

Near us is a lady with a cat who needs medication and her cat likes to roam... She's ended up with a lot of phone numbers of people on surrounding streets and spends a lot of time worriedly trying to track him down!

That said, if he really wants to get out then he will - and as you said he got out through the front door, then any amount of garden proofing won't help! So it might be best to have a cat flap...

Sorry I don't really know what's best, I sympathise with your dilemma!

helpfulperson · 26/11/2024 11:08

The thing is if he wants out he will constantly trying to escape. Is a catio an option?

Marblesbackagain · 26/11/2024 11:15

I have had indoor and outdoor cats. You can't fairly make an ex feral cat indoor.

Build a catio, out a tracker on him and let him have a mix of options.

helptodecide · 26/11/2024 11:22

Marblesbackagain · 26/11/2024 11:15

I have had indoor and outdoor cats. You can't fairly make an ex feral cat indoor.

Build a catio, out a tracker on him and let him have a mix of options.

To clarify this a bit, he was found as part of a feral colony but he came wandering up to the charity volunteer who rescued him and demanded to be picked up, so he was never a proper feral cat, he was just living in a large group of ferals. I think he just have been owned at some point due to his temperament.

I would never try to keep a proper feral cat indoors around people all the time. These are good ideas though I may well look into cat proofing the garden somehow.

OP posts:
Stickytreacle · 26/11/2024 12:18

Ferals do tame...

AIBU to want to keep my cat inside?
stargazerlil · 26/11/2024 14:10

You’ve got to let go of your fear and let him out

DeanElderberry · 26/11/2024 14:20

My cats are indoor cats. the older one was feral for at least a year before he moved in, and used to be a great rabbit hunter, but had to be kept indoors between June and October because he got a horrible skin condition in the summer. When I got a kitten to keep him company I started keeping them both inside.

They're perfectly happy, play together, have the run of the house at night. Occasionally they have the sublime excitement of a mouse or similar coming indoors, otherwise make do with spiders. You'll need a scratching post.

It is much better for wildlife (except house spiders and foolish mice) to keep domestic cats indoors, as well as safer for the cats.

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