Is it a society/systemic problem or an individual’s problem?

[AlertCat]

Just heard on R4 about the problems facing (particularly) young people with neurodivergence in finding work, and I completely agree. But then the young man who was speaking went on to say that he had been pushed by the job centre towards working for MacDonalds or somewhere like that, and he said ‘nobody wants to work just to earn money. We want to do something we’re passionate about.’ And went on to say that he would like to sail, and he wanted the training and qualifications to be offered so that he could follow his dream.

AIBU to think that the second part of this is nothing to do with being ND, is a problem faced by all of us, and that all young people (ND and NT) really need to take work that they can get and can do, just like anyone else has to, while maybe working towards something they would prefer? Albeit with the support they need around their neurodivergence to do this.

Obviously in an ideal world we’d all have access to unlimited training and learning opportunities, but we don’t. Very few people are lucky enough to follow their passion.

YABU- ND young (and older) people should get more support to find work they’re passionate about, and not be forced into jobs they don’t want to do.

YANBU- this isn’t an issue of being ND, it’s a societal problem/a fact of life that just has to be accepted or worked around.

This is the problem with modern life I think, everyone has to multi task and for some people that's really difficult.

Does your son have access to do a functional skills course? I know a lot of colleges offer them nowadays but not sure if he’d need an EHCP as this covers education funding until 25.

Yes he has an EHCP. At the moment he does one day functional skills (maths & english), one day work skills and one day placement.

Well there's a middle ground.
We all have to work and we take what we can get to pay the bills and pave the way for other opportunities. Some people get the shit stick, some hit the jack pot.

But with ND..some jobs really aren't suitable and it's not a case of sucking it up because quite bluntly..colleagues don't like it. I have Autism, but there was no diagnosis or help in my youth..I took what I got and my God I was awful..I lost all my confidence because I could not understand what was going wrong. I kept trying again and again and would fall flat on my face. It got to the point my hands were shaking when I awnsered the phone and I'd leave sweaty handprints on the hand set 😂 I'd have a panic attack on the way to the office, I carried a sick bag in my car for my morning pit stop...

But I actually found in the past few years the job centre and employers really helpful and supportive. (Maybe got lucky?) The job centre has disability specialists now and they did actually make sure I was in the right job that I would thrive in. I also have found employers fantastic. I'm not sure if that's because they are the disability confident and not all are the same. Either way I have found having supportive work environment actually helped me do work that use to cause meltdowns..I can cope with a lot more when I don't feel stressed, judged or ostracised. So maybe it's changing perspectives and removing the hostility in the work places alongside realistic jobs.

I would have thought he could work in another job in the meantime while he saved for training too. I can see why Maccy D's might not be a good fit for someone ND, depending on how it affects them. He isn't unreasonable to want something more suited to his disabilities. But it's unusual to waltz into your dream job at entry level.

@AlertCat Did he mention why he wasn't able to pursue a career in sailing? I would have thought the Navy could be an option, or working in the fishing trawler industry. Or he could work in another job while he earns enough to train.

Is it due to ND or just unrealistic expectations regardless. I know a lad, 21, wants to be a rock star, doesn't want to work in ordinary jobs, ( gets sacked usually)no work ethic, no qualifications..thinks he's going to be discovered by someone walking past his house hearing him practicing in his bedroom...no gigs, no recording, studio..
He's not got any ND, just indulgent parents who don't want to upset him. Not wealthy either.

He said finance was a burden. He would rather support be more personalised to individuals so they can do something they really want to do, rather than just working to earn money- and I do think that would be ideal, but it isn’t realistic, is it?
But the interview was linked to a report about getting economically inactive people (not working, and not looking for work) back into work; and a report that 71% of ND people are not in employment. I felt his comments detracted from that really stark statistic to be honest, and made it more about unrealistic expectations rather than the genuine barriers facing ND people to find employment. It’s at 2:11 on BBC iPlayer if you want to listen to it.

Kafka was an insurance salesman...

I blame primary schools for starting to plug the "you can be anything you want to be" nonsense. They actively encourage young children and make out that, yes, they can be professional footballers, oscar winning actors, astronauts, etc. Then when they get a bit older the reality of life smacks them in the face and they realise they've been led up the garden path and then, too many times, they've not actually prepared themselves for an alternative "normal" life.

My nephew is a case in point. School hyped him up to think he was good enough to be a professional cricketer. As a result, he neglected his school studies as, of course, you don't need GCSEs to be a cricketer do you? He spent most of his teen years playing in local teams waiting to be "talent spotted". By the time reality hit, he'd left school with a string of really poor grades and ended up driving a van!

My DM used to say the same about 'careers advice' even back in the early 80s when I was a teenager. Scoffing ' most people get a job, not a career and most just grin and bear it, career satisfaction..what rot!' Can still hear that ringing through my ears.

That's sad. What should have happened is he be allowed to pursue his ambition whilst also working hard at school so he had a back up in case it didn't work out (as it won't for the majority of young athletes). Then he could have got some qualifications that could help him become a PE teacher or coach cricket stars. I'm all for encouraging kids to dream but not at expense of their schoolwork.

Agree
Actually I'd say millions of people are perfectly satisfied doing a job that pays the bills, which they aren't particularly passionate about. Great if you can have both, but for many people that's what hobbies and pastimes are for. Work is work, fun is fun.

Sailing is hardly that difficult to even get into. There are at least 3 different places within half an hour of me that do the RYAC first few courses, and then more specialist options, for about £200 each. If he's over 21 he could earn that in 2-3 shifts in McDonalds (or his preferred alternative). Or take out a loan like the vast majority of people doing a degree have to. If he was that passionate about it he could have joined sea cadets as a child or the navy as an adult. It's hardly an insurmountable challenge if that's the career path he wants. It's not like the costs of becoming a pilot, for example, which are expensive!

Very few people walk straight into their ideal job in their chosen career first. It's completely normal to do a few different jobs to gain experience (or just money!) and climb the ladder. ND or not you have to put in SOME effort and show some initiative yourself, you can't expect the govt to hold your hand and do everything for you.