To not invite her to stay?

[wwynd]

A family member is travelling from Scotland to Birmingham for five days after Christmas. He has asked me if he can stay with his son at our home.
We do not have a guest room, just a room each and we are all home for Christmas during that holiday.
Is it bu to say no as we simply do not have the beds unless the 2 adult children sleep in a double bed which they would very much resent?
I am not close to him or his son really but feel off saying no being the season of good will etc and they are
Coming to see
Family .

He is not flush but would have money.

He is not invited or welcome at other siblings homes so he will not ask them as I feel he knows this .

Well, he’s not welcome at yours either, though, is he? No, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say ‘Sorry, full house this year’ and recommend a local hotel.

Absolutely not. It’s your Christmas too and this will ruin the dynamic. Don’t do it!

He wants to stay for 5 days with you? Why isn't he welcome at other relatives'? Of course he can't stay with you, what a cheek. If it was 1 night to break up a journey then maybe but who asks to stay with people for 5 days??

Apologise and tell him there is no spare room for him as everyone is home for Christmas. He still has time to book somewhere if you tell him now

Tell him unless he is pregnant and riding a donkey, there's no room at the Inn.

Please use these exact words!

I'd just say there isn't room.

It'll alter the whole dynamic if they do come.

Does he visit just to see you at all? Does he keep in regular contact with you?

If it was one night I'd maybe try and make room but 5 nights? No way. Two extra people will be a squeeze.

Just be honest and say the whole family is home for Christmas and New Year and you don't have a spare room. I certainly wouldn't be offering the sofa either, as that can be awkward around bedtime/getting up if you have different sleep patterns.

Yanbu. Don't be pressured into it. It's your home and it's full. He can sort himself and his DC out.

For five days? He’s a CF. Hell no.

Why is she coming if she has nowhere to stay?

Edit: Sorry that sounded a bit abrupt. But it seems odd to plan to be somewhere for 5 days at Christmas without first planning accommodation.

If it means two adult children unwillingly sharing a bed you actually don’t have space, no debate needed!

Simple, you don't have room for them so can't help. I just don't understand why you didn't say that as soon as it was mentioned.

Can't they stay with whoever they are visiting?

If they're coming to visit family surely they'd stay with them. If no one else is willing to have them there must be a reason, I wonder if they've worn their welcome out by being a nightmare guest.

Of course you don't have to have anyone to stay. There's no room. Even if there was room, you wouldn't be obliged to let them stay.

I'm puzzled that your relative is a 'her' in your thread title and then a him in your actual post though.

I was wondering the same thing.

It’s probably more awkward if he’s travelling specifically to see y’all!

But if he has something else on, I think it’s fine to say you have a full house at that time. It does raise the risk of him postponing until you don’t I guess …

I am guessing that there is a significant reason that all his siblings have gone no contact.

Either way you actually do not have room and certainly not for five days. The thought of him arriving will end up ruining Christmas for everyone.

You don’t have room so seems reasonable to say sorry there’s no room? I can’t see how anyone’s offended to not be able to stay in a bed that literally doesn’t exist.