Need to escape the classroom

[stressedteachersos]

Can anyone help please?

I work 2 days as a primary teacher and I’m on UPS3. I earn roughly £1300 per month which is about £18k per year. My other half is a teacher too but in management ( class based) so has a lot of responsibility. I have three small children and I/we am/are really struggling to manage it all.

The lack of flexibility and stress of having such young children is really taking its toll on our stress levels and we simply cannot manage. I need to find an alternative job but I think I am going to struggle to find something that is paid similarly with the holidays.

Has anyone been in a similar position? I have the option of doing 3 days in a year or so.

We have one. She's fantastic. We are both messy people and have to work extra hard to keep the place tidy. Some people are just naturally tidy and we are not!

In some ways?! In all ways.

You have a husband on a good salary with school holidays.
You work 2 days a week with a great pro rata salary, school holidays, and no work to take home.
You have childcare sorted for your kids, and it will be more efficient from next year.
You have a brilliant cleaner.

It's really just that you don't like teaching children, and you already said you'd be happy to teach adults (so not retraining in an entirely different area).

I'm not sure why you've listed housework as a problem since you have a cleaner, kids and husband are out a fair amount, and you presumably have time for it with 5 days a week off?

But generally you're living most people's dream. Most people don't have all that, and the ones who are closest have a rubbish cleaner or childcare.

I think there is quite a big market with home schooled children too that wouldn't need to be after school.

@potatocakesinprogress I have 2 of the preschool children off with me on those days off so it's not like I have 5 days to commit to the house. I am looking after them!

Yes I thought this as well, he is already available to cover the school holidays bar the odd inset day that doesn’t match up, you don’t need two people off in the holidays.

You don't need 5 days to commit to the house, it's literally 15 mins of an evening.

I think you don't appreciate what you have.

If you work 2 days, presumably another teacher works the other 3? Could you not ask to swap with them if your child has a school play etc?

@potatocakesinprogress okay. Thank you.

I would look to pay someone to do the drop offs in the morning.
Get them to come an hour before you have to leave and leave them to do all the leg work.
It will take a little training! It might take a while to find someone. Depends where you live.

In your favour, if you work in a school you have access to a huge community of staff and their contacts. Not just teachers, but site staff, admin staff and catering staff all local. You need to put your feelers out for help with the morning runs. Mention it to literally everyone at work. Someone will have suggestions.

It would then make the world of difference if you could leave home in the morning and focus on your job only, then on return, you leave your job focused on your home only.

Your situation is not going to get more difficult. It will get easier as the kids get older, and it seems quite draconian to leave your job when it might just need some thinking out of the box.

Good luck!

The ship hasn't sailed. It's just in the harbour for now OP. For now, you've got 3 very young children, a 2 day a week job paying pretty good money and the prospect of changing your career once the children are "up a bit" such as them all being at school. If you really need a break, there is likely to be a Career Break policy which might give you a few months off to get yourself in the right frame of mind to keep going for now until you can change your job if you feel you need to. I would only add that I've seen many news items about the Contracts of FE lecturers not being robust so I'd say do your research and try not to jump out the frying pan into the fire

@Thisismetooaswell the job share has her kids in nursery and they aren't flexible with days. The missing school plays etc is crap but it's not the bit causing the most stress/unhappiness.

Look into it. You might have to put an ad up.

They could come back to the house on those two days and straighten the house up, make the beds, prep dinner. You'd at least come home to a tidy house.

It's very difficult to tick the boxes of part time, flexible, well paid and interesting work. You have to prioritise what is important. Anything else is a bonus.

I actually think that public sector is much better for women than private sector as they are far more accommodating and have far more part time jobs that don't take the piss on the salary.

Have a look at civil service as well.

Thank you so much. I will have a good think about this!

You’ve actually got a really good deal at the moment 2 days a week, decent take home pay for the no.days and school holidays off. Honestly you’re not going to find that doing anything else. 2 days a week is hard to come by anyway and would likely be minimum wage unless you’re already established in that career. You're unlikely to get the holidays too. There many of us working in stressful jobs with young children, I have 2 young DC in different settings and I work 4 days a week and my DH full time, and I don’t get school holidays off other than the standard annual leave. It’s hard, it’s hard for anyone working but we just have to get through these early years.

Could you teach adults in a college?

You probably could do this but pay in FE teaching will be significantly worse than you get now.

Minimum contracts in our local NHS Trust is three days or 22.5 hours. Im not sure if that's standard.

What is your role within the school? Are you job sharing, PPA cover, are you class based or in a support role?

Have you tried talking to your line manager to see how your role and responsibilities could be mitigated, even if it means a temporary reduction of hours/ pay.

Schools are losing teachers at a rate of knots, and your SMT might prefer to be flexible and keep you on for say a year /18 months until your kids are a bit older and you feel better able to get back into the swing of it, rather than lose you altogether. I appreciate this is harder for schools to do these days because of finances, but in the long term a good experienced teacher is an asset, and they might find a way to do it. No harm in asking.

If you switch jobs you might make the nativity but you’ll lose out on all the holidays…

If both of you work term time only and you have a cleaner how bad can it be?? Could you get another day at nursery / childminder for you to do your planning/ marking / have some headspace?

think of the pension you’re building up etc. long term vs short term!

OP how is your relationship with DH? On paper, I’m struggling to understand how somebody who is working a well paid job 2 days a week, with a cleaner and a husband who earns a good salary is finding things so tough. Does your husband do his fair share of childcare, admin etc?

FWIW as a single mum for many years, there were times when I just could not make the school plays etc. Try not to beat yourself up too much about that.

I'm a little confused 🤔 so you work 2 days, have 5 days off, you don't work from home, you have a cleaner, you have 3 kids, your DH is a teacher too and you're struggling getting the children out the door the 2 mornings you're working? Or is it you're struggling working in a school ?

You want a similar job with same hours , holidays and pay but surely this still means you're getting the kids out ?

I'm sorry you're finding it hard, I have 3 children so know how hard it can be when trying to get to work in the morning! I work 4 days a week and have 1 day at home with my 3 yr old. I think having 3 days off should be enough time for housework and shopping? I struggle to see why the husband who works full time should do more? Unless he really is doing absolutely nothing to help out!

Why?!

I think the only way you stand a chance of getting a decent salary out of teaching is by not limiting yourself to term times.

This is why many stick with pt teaching although it's stressful - to earn a similar wage most jobs with a transferable skill set would require more hours and in most jobs there is an element of pressure whatever the role. Your husband would presumably still have the school holidays so.that may make your decision easier.
I teach 0.5 and make it work by having rest of the week structured 1 morning to complete school admin/planning to make work days easier, 1 day for housework/batch cooking and 1 day for life admin, appointments etc. It's all about balance and with 3 young children there are no easy options. I stay in teaching not because I love it but I would need to work full time in another role, pay for holiday childcare and wouldn't have time for all of the above!

Of course. I'm not for one minute saying that I've got it harder than others working longer hours. I am just finding it difficult.

Like you say, things look good on paper but that's not always the reality is it? He does a fair share of childcare at the weekend. Life admin and 'mental load' mostly falls on me but I also appreciate that I work 2 days so of course the bulk of it should do. Perhaps we need to look sharing a few other bits out.