To think this is just cheeky

[Hesxboon]

I have a friend who’s messaged me constantly the past week about exchanging Christmas presents. We both have kids and tbh I haven’t even started Xmas shopping yet!
she’s messaged me yesterday to say could we meet to exchange and I just find it so rude! Aibu?

Tell her it's still November.

"I haven't started Xmas shopping yet, happy to meet up and catch up, but I'm not exchanging gifts for your (the kids) kids, thats not my priority"

Don't apologise, your timelines don't match hers, no one is in the wrong.

Hardly cheeky or rude, just a tad too early. Tell her, don’t moan about her online.

Say yes happy to meet on (insert date in December that works for you), that ok for you?

If she comes back with "no, tomorrow" or something equally ridiculous then you can reply "hahaha no way, I haven't even started Christmas shopping yet! Clearly not as organised as you ;)"

She could just be excited or very busy in December, it doesn't necessarily mean she's rude.

It's not rude. You just need to tell her you haven't done your Christmas shopping yet but you'll let her know when you have.

Is she just wanting to fix a date or wanting to meet up right now,?

Just respond "I thought we agreed we weren't doing Christmas gifts this year!"

Send back, “It’s November!” with and eye rolly emoji.

To be clear, you're suggesting that OP should gaslight her friend?

Hi, happy to meet for coffee but only doing family presents this year. When's good for you?

No drama needed

Surely you can tell a friend that you’ve not begun shopping yet / aren’t planning to begin until later in December / aren’t planning to do presents this year to give her an opportunity to return the ones she’s clearly bought for you. If you usually exchange presents with each other it’s not a “cheeky” assumption that you will this year as usual unless you’ve said otherwise.

If she is a friend then you tell her you haven't started shopping yet. Why is she messaging you multiple times and you haven't said anything?

How is it rude? To want to meet up and give you a present? Being pushy is annoying, but rude is the wrong word.

She might have bought you tickets for something and its before Christmas.

I'd say "oh that's fine you don't need to get us anything"

What's the issue? Don't you want to meet up? Seems normal to try and arrange something if you usually buy each other gifts - people get busy in December. Just reply and suggest a date that suits you.

Depends on how you replied.

What do you find rude - that she wants to fix a date so far in advance? Or is it that you don't generally exchange gits with her family and you find her assumption cheeky?

I don't have kids, but everyone I know with kids wants to arrange plans 3-6 months ahead. So actually I would say she's late.

Were you planning to give them a present? If not then very cheeky.

What? No this isn’t rude! Just reply and give her a date suitable to you and say you haven’t started your Christmas shopping yet.

if we are exchanging gifts with people who have little kids that would want to gifts on Christmas Day - we have to arrange early November because we don’t have time. But if it’s older teens/adults then we tend to do it after Christmas tbh!

why do you feel its rude? a lot of people are done with their shopping etc ready for a busy December of school plays and stuff. Maybe she just wanted to get plans sorted before the mayhem.

It’s not even the end of November yet! If you’re not going to see each other next month, I can understand where she’s coming from but still think she’s being OTT with demanding you buy something to exchange with her.

What's rude about it?

If you want to exchange gifts but haven't bought hers yet, just say so and ask to meet in Dec some time.

If you don't want to do a gift exchange, explain that.

I'm struggling to see what the rude bit is?

I don’t see how it’s rude either. Is she suggesting you meet this week? Perhaps she is just trying to get a date in the diary to meet to exchange gifts, everyone gets so busy before Christmas so I think it’s thoughtful of her to think of it in advance.