To ask what hairdressers think of 'quiet' customers

[ChicRaven]

I absolutely hate going to the hairdresser.
I have crap hair which is very thin as I approach 40 and starting to get grey streaks in it.
I hate looking at myself in the mirror for ages and I despise small talk.
After telling my hairdresser what I want doing, it's then very silent which sometimes I think she gets irritated by. So what do hairdressers really think of quiet customers and are you also quiet or a chatter when you go to the hairdressers?

Why do you think she is irritated? I like my hairdresser but I struggle to hear them if the salon is noisy. We chat a bit but I'm mostly on my phone!

Why do you think she is irritated by you? Some hairdressers are probably glad of a quiet client or two in the day, it gives them a bit of a break from the chat. Even if you enjoy chatting, it's nice to be quiet occasionally.

I like chatting to my hairdresser, but then she's been doing my hair for 20 years 😮 and we have plenty to chat about. Just a tip, I don't look at myself in the mirror, I look at the other stylists in the salon and what they're doing. I find it quite fascinating to watch them work.

I just get the impression that she finds me awkward and frustrating.

My hairdresser knows I like it quiet. We have a quick initial chat then I read my kindle.

I hate going to the hairdressers, too. I just can’t be chatty and bubbly, while watching myself being chatty and bubbly! For years now I’ve used a mobile hairdresser. She knows how I like my hair, and we have a nice, unforced chat (no mirror!) and a cup of coffee while she’s doing it. I can also dry and style my hair in the way I want it, when she’s finished cutting/colouring, rather than me scurrying out, saying yes, it’s lovely, then re-doing it at home, which is what happens on the odd occasion I’ve been to a salon!

I normally read my Kindle but do chat sometimes. I think she's just glad to have a regular customer.

If she isn't continually trying to make small talk sounds like she realises you would rather sit quietly. If she was worried you weren't happy she would be trying to chat more.

Don't stress about it, I am sure hairdresser is happy with whatever makes you comfortable. Even if she is a chatty person i expect she appreciates a break from it.

The salon I go to offers silent appointments specifically for customers who don't want to chat. They also provide tablets with magazine subscriptions on them so you can just read or zone out for your entire appointment if you want.

Most hairdressers are fully aware that not every customer is chatty, and will not care in the slightest if you don't want to make conversation. I think plenty of stylists actually enjoy the odd break from non-stop small talk.

Why do you get that impression, though? What's she said or done that makes you think that?

What a great idea! I'd love this.

But could that be because you're already feeling awkward and unhappy because you don't like your hair, so you're more likely to be sensitive about how she potentially feels about you?

Try not to feel upset about your hair, btw. Mine used to be really thick, but it's thinned terribly in recent months, due to weight loss, menopause, etc. I go to the hairdresser to get her to make it look good - i take her advice, I buy (some of) the products she recommends to me, I tell her how much time I have to style it daily, she cuts it in a way that makes it easy for me to look after and gives me tips. None of this is "small talk" - it's professional advice, if you like.

If the sitting in silence bothers you, ask for her advice on re-styles, or colour, or maintenance. If she wants to talk, use that o your advantage!

I wouldn't be at all concerned with what my hairdresser thinks of me. I also hate the hairdresser's, but am a socially confident person, and have no difficulty in asking how my hairdresser is etc initially and then saying 'I'm going to read now'. I'm actually very fond of both the person who cuts my hair and the one who does my colour, but I'm not unduly concerned about their opinion of my volubility or not as a client.

My hairdresser has a home salon. We have kids who go to the same school and are similar ages so lots to chat about. I don’t feel like I have to be chatty and bubbly but she’s nice and the conversation flows well so we just talk.

@ChicRaven sounds more like you are projecting your feelings and insecurities. I doubt she’s bothered. Do the small talk. Get the brew. Read a magazine or browse on your phone. No one cares honestly.

That's how you feel not her. Just say to her i'm sorry if i come across a bit strange but this is really the only downtime I get, do you mind if i read.

I can rarely hear what she says anyway. I take a book or play on my phone. She knows that I don't get time to just sit at home and do those things, she's quite happy

As a beauty therapist I don’t mind quiet clients at all! Some of my regulars will have a little chat then will put their earbuds in or read (if the treatment is say a pedicure). Often they will mention it “I’m just going to put my podcast/ music on”. We understand everyone is different.

I hate the chatting too. I want a bit of peace. And as for the mirror....Im sure I wasnt that ugly years ago.

One of my friends left hairdressing and retrained as she couldn't bear the chat anymore. She's a very kind and friendly person but just not a small talker and it really got her down in the end so I don't think all hairdressers particularly enjoy it, it's just part of the job. I think as long as you're polite and clear about what you want, most will be happy to get on with the job at hard.

I'm the quiet one who will go just for a hair cut and a small amount of chat. I have one regular hair dresser, and she's got no problem with it.

You’re not there to please your hairdresser. Apart from paying when it is done.

Do you ever get clients who try to do small talk during a massage treatment?

why be on your phone though when youve got someone there you can chat too.

I’m a hairdresser. I love the chat with my clients if that’s what they want, but I have quiet clients who I know don’t want this. They usually bring a magazine, book, Kindle or laptop and to me that’s a signal that they don’t want to talk. They might say “I’m just going to catch up on my book/work/online shopping” but it’s not needed when I can see that they’re reading etc.

I don’t find it rude, awkward or weird. The only time I find it awkward is when I’m not sure if they want to chat or not, and I’m chatting. If they’re giving quite short answers but I’m not sure if that’s just how they are and they want to keep on chatting or if they’re trying to hint at me to shut up.

So I’d much prefer someone to say “I’m not really in the mood for chat today” and then I’ll button it! I don’t mind either way. I actually prefer the non-talkers when it’s something labour-intensive like a full head of foils. Means I can fully concentrate and relax more.

@PassingStranger why would I want random small talk with a stranger. Hate it. I have a fantastic hairdresser who could talk the hind leg off a donkey but he knows I like quiet so we do the formalities and get on with it.

I’m not chatty at all during a hair appointment and the hairdressers I’ve had have just done my hair in near silence. I don’t care.