Good Friend a Benefit Fraudster - What to do?

[Cath2712]

I know others have posted about this - but I have a good friend who is Turkish who has been ripping off the social for the best part of twenty years now. It all boiled over between us this weekend beause she has asked me to visit her in Turkey (where she now lives for most of the year, despite keeping a council house in Salford). She asked me to bring almost a full case of brand new clothes and shoes with me, mostly for her family, that she has ordered online. (I had to go and pick up two pairs from Schu in Manchester yesterday for her nephew.)
She retains Turkish nationality and has indefinite leave to stay via her ex husband, but is recieving PIP Disability plus council tax and housing benefit. She has had several operations on the NHS including a new knee replacement and is currently awaiting a gastric band op at a private hospital in Salford on an NHS referral. I honestly think she is only going to return to the UK when she gets a date confirmed for the operation.
She has never worked a day in this country and has no intention of doing so. She claims she cannot work for health reasons but still organises music concerts and acts in a local drama group in Manchester. I have videos of her dancing on chairs in Turkey. I've tried to warn her she faces a possible jail term and explusion from the UK if she is caught- but she just doesnt believe me, even though she has no way of supporting herself back in Turkey and is entirely benefit dependent. I should add that her family in Turkey have no idea what is going on. They sem to think this is "normal" in the UK and have got hooked on the "presents" she brings them. I dont want to dob her in as realistically I know she is vulnerable and never really grew up. But other Turkish friends in Manchester say she is clever and calculating.
We are not talking now as she accuses me of threatening her family and "bitterness". I just feel she need to have a big shock to bring her to her senses before its too late. I'm a Brit and have worked all my life, as have my family and my beloved late dad, who did everything for us. I know exactly how furious people are about this sort of thing.

Report on the crime stoppers anonymous line?? But if she's got away with it for this long already.....🤔

I dont want to dob her in as realistically I know she is vulnerable and never really grew up.

What sort of advice are you after then?

You either report her or you stay quiet, surely?

There is so many irrelevant detail here that ti is actually hard to see what the crime is. Am I right in thinking that she does not reside in the UK but receives benefits? If so, you can probably report it.
Other things like buying expensive clothes and dancing on chairs are neither here nor there. People with disabilities are entitled to have hobbies, it doesn't mean they are able to work. Dancing on chairs for 5 minutes is very different from doing a supermarket shift for 9 hours.
She is also entitled to spend her money in whichever way she wishes. And she is entitled to NHS care, providing she resides in the UK.
I am not too sure what the ILR rules are as far as being out of the country. You should be in for 180 days in the 12 months before applying but I don't know if your status gets revoked if you then decide to spend more time abroad.

I'm quite confused though OP.

If you disagree with what she's doing, and she's not talking to you anyway, why did you go and pick up two pairs from Schu in Manchester yesterday?

Your statement is so contradictory. 20 yr friend, but it seems that you are offended and opposed to her very existence but your aiding and abetting her, and benefitting from the free holidays? your text seethes with hatred, but yet youve been friends for 20yrs? that amount of bitterness isnt since this argument.

Not sure who's worse, her or you. Coming to mumsnet for support to slag her off when you've sat by her side for 20 years and not thought to dob her in until the argument.

By all means dob her in. It's not right that people fraudulently claim benefits and housing, if you're not going to go back to being best buddies after it all blows over.

Just stop being her friend if you think she’s playing the system. Pretending to be someone’s friend while trying to get them into serious trouble is grim. If she’s being that blatant karma will catch up at some point, it’s weird to want to be the agent of it if it’s someone you’ve been acting like you like.

It was the last straw

PIP you can only be abroad for 13 weeks and you need to inform them if you’re going to be away for more than 4 weeks. I would probably be most upset by the fact that she’s taking up a council property when there’s so many people on the housing list.

your choice is either to anonymously report her and probably loose the friendship or keep quiet, accept it but probably distance yourself so you aren’t enabling her.

Only on MN would you get posters defending a blatant benefit fraud!!! Op she is clearly committing benefit fraud because you have to notify DWP if you leave the country for more than 28days. Also if she is getting high rate disability the likelihood of her being able to dance on chairs etc ( if she is telling the truth) is very small. You need to report this to the DWP and let them investigate, if she is doing nothing wrong then she will be fine!

These sort of posts always bring this image to mind.

Sounds like you're bitter because you perceive your 'friends' life is better than yours. The reason your life isn't great is not because of your friend and her benefits.

@Flyingtonight you have no idea of the OPs life - I'm social minded and i don't give a shit whether the friend is Turkish or white British - a con artist is a con artist and it all contributes to making less funds ( and in this case council houses too) available for very genuine cases

Report her OP

if she is telling the truth - yep true

Any sort of advice, as I am conflicted - I do appreciate all that I am reading here, even though I am being accused of "hatred", disloyalty etc.

I'd be reporting her to the council (for the council house lots of people are desperate for that she is leaving empty to live abroad) and DWP for the benefit fraud.

I also wouldn't have sat back for 20 years and said or done nothing while this happened in front of me, but hey ho.