To always compare myself to other women?

[bumbiddybiddy]

I have always been like this, the reason for my post is that today my neighbours wife was outside unpacking loads of selfridge bags from her car and she's so slim and well groomed and has 3 young children and always looks amazing.

I think she's a little older than myself but I can't seem to lose weight no matter how hard I try, I try to stay well groomed and dress nice but I always feel like a big lump! I'm 5'8 and 14 stone I wear a size 12/14 Whereas she's around 5'2 and about a size 8 I'm guessing.

I wear big jumpers and leggings most of the time to hide my upper half as I hate it, this girl wears tight outfits and looks absolutely amazing. It makes me so self conscious whenever I see her out and im with my husband. (He thinks I'm beautiful and tells me every day) but I just can't stop thinking this way.

It's always been like this, If I get a day where I think I look nice, and I see a woman who is better looking (not that it's hard) I just get really upset and want to go home and hide.

The only person who can change you, is you.

If you're feeling this way often (most people have a little wobble now and then), you'll need to make changes or learn to accept yourself the way you are.

Easier said than done, but if you don't do one of those two things, you'll feel exactly the same forever.

I’m sorry - that sounds a bit miserable. I’m wondering though if she’s looking at you and wishing she was taller or more curvy like you. We all have our insecurities. No one is perfect.

I repeatedly told my daughters - and son too -that in life there will always always be someone cleverer or better looking than you and someone less clever or prettier etc. What matters is that there is no other you. Your uniqueness is what matters. No one else is as good at being you as you. Celebrate yourself.

I also tried to praise their strength and perseverance and acts demonstrating good character over academic achievements and looks. That’s what my
mum did for me and that’s why despite being very very far from perfect I’ve always had decent self esteem. Something in your past has hurt you and damaged that core you should have - don’t let it win.

Do you think she’s “lucky” or do you think she made her own luck?

The answer to this may be key to how you choose (or not choose) to move forward with your life

It's always been like this, If I get a day where I think I look nice, and I see a woman who is better looking (not that it's hard) I just get really upset and want to go home and hide.

This is only in your power to change. No one else can do it, there's no magic pill to stop you being envious or jealous of other people apart from YOU.

When your Brian goes to it - STOP, imagine a big red stop sign, or a hand ✋️, stop allowing the thought to progress.
Oh but it keeps happening, we'll Do it over and over, Stop it every time. Do you think a smoker who quits gets one "I want a cigarette" moment, or do they just fight the craving each time?

You have to find something in your brain to stop the thought and not progress them. And do it over and over every single time you start to feel envy or jealous.

No one can do it aside from you.

Cliche but true. Envy is the thief of joy.

You already know that this is a problem for you and it makes you miserable. You are the only one who can change this, do you want to though? You can learn self acceptance and you can stop comparing yourself to others. You can choose happiness or you can choose misery. It's up to you.

Try to be grateful for what you have rather than looking for reasons to perceive yourself as lacking.

It sounds like you have a kind partner who loves you and thinks you are gorgeous. Not everyone has that.