Child calling boyfriend dad

[Timetogetgone]

Hi,

I know this has been done a million times but would love opinions.

Son’s dad left when he was 2. He was an abusive man so he’s had limited contact with our son and is only now (court ordered) having more contact in staggered forms. In all honesty, he’s a terrible father so I can understand how this situation has happened.

My boyfriend has been in my sons life for around 2 years (he’s a dad himself) and treats my son like his own but doesn’t step on any toes and is just an all round nice guy with my son.

Since my son first met him until now (son is 5) he’s randomly called him ‘dad’. I’ve always nipped in in the bud and explained that he has a name. I don’t want my son calling him that for various reasons but, now my sons older, I don’t want to embarrass him in front of partner and say ‘baby, his name is blah blah’.

Should I say something to my son in private or at the moment it happens? Or by addressing it later am I drawing more attention to it?

Also, my partner has no issue with it but should I tell him, ‘hey, I’m addressing it with my son just so you know’ or not say anything. I worry if I don’t say something to him he may think I’m ok with it?

I just don’t want to embarrass my son in anyway and make him feel vulnerable. My son has been through a lot in his short life and there’s no handbook for this is there 🤦🏻‍♀️

Has a sees,his Dad ,so just say "Bob" ,s your Dad and "Jack"is mummy,s partner ,and here cares a lot about you
As terrible as is own dad is they do have contact and you son needs to know he s his dad

My two sons occasion call my husband dad its more a slip of the tounge rather than anything else they do mostly call him by his name. I'm the same as you if ex heard then calling him dad would start the cycle of abuse again. But if you ask sons who thier dad is they say husbands name. They don't care much for their dad. 5 and 7

Does your son call his biological dad, daddy? I think you should talk to your partner and if he's happy with it, perhaps your son can call him Daddy Billy (or whatever his name is!) I wouldn't let your ex's reaction dictate what you decide for your son, you don't have to try and accommodate his feelings - just do what's right for you and your family.