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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cheating or in my head need advice

16 replies

Kors · 24/11/2024 20:28

Ok so basically my partner cheated on me 2 times 2 years ago so he does have form but said he’s changed and wants to settle and wouldn’t do that now!
he was working away few mths ago and went out with 2 guys from work and another woman she’s young a promo girl for the business he did the work on I don’t hear from him all night, the next day at home he said he thinks the boss took her Bach to the hotel he said I hope not as he’s married my mind was ticking thinking was it really my partner as I can’t see the boss doing it, fast forward to Friday night was the opening night for a new bar he’s just done the same girl came and I went my partner was off with me all night saying go away avoiding me he was standing with her laughing and joking and talking lots of times when I walked over she walked off and he said nasty things and stormed off, then he disappeared I found out he checked into a hotel the same hotel she happened to be staying at, I went there as he took my phone I didn’t see in his room the porter got it and I left, I didn’t hear from him till 1 pm the next day he said he left and got a hotel to avoid arguing he said nothing is going on and he doesn’t no if it’s the boss who’s seeing her but it’s not him I went to speak with the boss and told him my partner and another work lad said it’s him everyone is now arguing the boss has blocked my partner and my partners business partner is now saying he needs to make a choice to get rid of me after all Trouble I’ve caused ? But I want the one who stayed out all night but I’m getting the blame is it me am I paranoid and making it all up because he’s cheated before I feel so anxious and stressed

OP posts:
Coldautumnmornings · 24/11/2024 20:31

Without the cheating element, he is totally disrespectful to you. Leave this drama behind and get out now.

Anonymityisvital · 24/11/2024 20:35

You've started a few threads about this guy OP.
It's not a good relationship and you can't trust him.
You would be better off without him.

Lindjam · 24/11/2024 20:37

Why on earth are you persisting in this relationship when it’s only bringing tedious drama?

Bin and block.

DelicateSoundOfEchos · 24/11/2024 20:37

He's not exactly treating you well so I'd be leaving because of that.

But going to his boss telling tales is fucking weird. If my husband spoke to my boss and told them things I'd said about them I'd be absolutely furious and couldn't see any way back from it because it's one thing to have suspicions (whether valid or not) and another to create drama, damage reputation and credibility, and cause issues professionally. It really isn't normal or acceptable behaviour.

ohyesido · 24/11/2024 20:38

Two times, that you know of.

The way he spoke to you is enough to end the relationship.

canyouletthedogoutplease · 24/11/2024 20:40

Find one that doesn't make you feel like shit.

Lavender14 · 24/11/2024 20:42

Op is this relationship really worth it???

For any one of those things I'd have ended the relationship.

He's showing you who he is and where his priorities are. Act accordingly and prioritise yourself.

Going to the boss is a massive overstep on your part and I think it's a sign that this guy is gaslighting you to the point where you're desperate for clarity. This is not what healthy relationships look or feel like.

JawsCushion · 24/11/2024 20:45

TL:DR. Didn't need to. Anyone who I was supposed to be in a loving relationship with telling me to go away and being off with me would be going away from me and off out of my life.

Noseybookworm · 24/11/2024 20:45

What are you still doing with this loser? 🙄

teatoast8 · 24/11/2024 20:46

Bin. You deserve better

CremeEggThief · 24/11/2024 20:50

Why are you still with this loser? How would you feel if he actually did dump you over this after you forgave him TWICE for cheating!

This is why staying togetherafter cheating has taken place never really works out in my opinion, as the trust is gone.

Kors · 24/11/2024 20:59

Sorry may miss understood he had already told the boss he was speaking to me and I told him what I’d heard he involved other ppl

OP posts:
Kors · 24/11/2024 21:01

He went to the boss on the night and told him he already knew my partner loved telling ppl about our private life the boss asked me what’s this about I told him my part

OP posts:
PeriPeriMam · 24/11/2024 21:03

Why are you with him though?

PeriPeriMam · 24/11/2024 21:03

Like, why are you putting up with such shitty behaviour even if he didn't cheat on you this time?

DoYouReally · 24/11/2024 21:45

How many more time can he cheat before you get rid of him?

Do you need to see it in person, chat and STD or does he need to rather a child?

When is enough, enough.

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