to think that DSDs Mum is staggeringly selfish?

[indignantstepmum]

OK here goes:

1. She returned last week from a 2 week holiday on her own whilst DP and I looked after DSD (4)

1. She refused to have DSD back until the weekend (she returned on Tuesday) as she claimed she was too jetlagged, although when we called one evening she was out for dinner

1. We delivered DSD back to her as requested, only to find out she was taking her to her mums so she could go on a work night out that night

1. She has since said that she doesn't want us to have DSD for the usual amount of time this weekend as 'she missed her too much'

FFS, please tell me IANBU?

Well im a single parent and I dont actually think you are being unreasonable at all. I would love to have even a one day break from my kids. Three weeks is a bit greedy imo.

and there was meant to be a grin after that but im typing one handed with a tantruming four year old pulling the other!

I can totally understand Shybaby's point. If DSD is happy to spend 2 weeks with her dad and ok about being away from her mum then a brief visit to the grandparents probably made her happy too. She's with family the whole time, and such is the nature of living in a family where a separation has happened.

Don't make an issue of it, it's probably a situation DSD is used to and not damaged by.

I don't think she is being unreasonable in anything but 4 tbh. Her previous behaviour has not been that of a mother who missed their child too much, but that's OK - as a single parent I'm sure she actually gets to spend plenty of time with her dd and would have been glad of the break. But she's not then entitled to mess up your usual arrangements.

But the little girl knew that her mum was back in the country and must have been wondering why her mum didn't come rushing over to see her asap, scoop her up and take her home as planned.

There's no law saying the mother had to miss her daughter dreadfully while away and want to see her the instant she was back, and presumably she didn't and that's her business, but surely it's horribly hurtful to let the child see that?

well said welliemum.