Neighbour's visitors keeps parking on my driveway

[ricecakes90]

We have just moved into a new build about a month ago and all the neighbours moved in the same day through the HA.

The neighbour seems OK but ever time she has visitors they will park on my driveway.
It has happened a handful of times now, and our living room window is practically right next to the space and the visitors will look in which makes me feel very uncomfortable.

My partner thinks I am over reacting as he points out that there there are two spaces but that's not the point.

The neighbour doesn't even ask, one or twice but it's stating to become a regular thing whenever she has a visitor and I don't think it's right.

I don't want to fall out with her but it's really getting on my nerves, AIBU?

🤭🤭🤭
That gave me a chuckle.

What a nerve. They don't seem to be grasping that this is your driveway.

I think I'd probably find a way of blocking their access. Is that possible?

Good idea when your in.

Surely dh can park in between your 2 spaces?

I actually the bins/planters option in the first instance without saying anything is WORSE for neighbourly relations.

If you haven't said anything, they could just be chancing their luck that you don't mind it. As far as they know so far, you aren't bothered.

Because surely if you were bothered, you'd SAY SOMETHING!

It doesn't have to be arsey, and it it might not burn bridges. Just a friendly chat "hi, how are you setttling in? ... lots of small talk... by the way, please could you ask your visitors to stop parking in my parking space. Thanks! Cheery bye".

I a,so wouldn't say you don't like looking out at cars, that you don't like looking at cars whatever. Just ask nicely in the first instance.

I think your OH is wrong and you need to nip this in the bud, now!

People who are arseholes will continue to be arseholes until you stand up to them. Once you’ve made it clear that you’re not a pushover, they’ll be as nice as pie with you and happy to do you a favour.

If you ignore the problem, they’ll carry on treating you disrespectfully forever more and won’t bother being helpful either.

Goodness me. It’s not in any way unreasonable to point out to the neighbour that it’s your driveway and not to be used by their visitors.

“Hi neighbour - hope you’re settling in okay. We just wanted to check that you know that there <point> is our private driveway and not a space for other people to use. Please let your visitors know that they should park there <point> and not on our driveway. Thanks very much.”

is hardly likely to burn bridges!

i don't get the association between all moving in on same day through HA and the current car parking issue?

They're boundary-pushing (literally in this case) cheeky fuckers.

They've taken your lack of response to mean that because you don't mind it sometimes, you must not mind it regularly, and I can bet they'll start using your space on a permanent basis if you're not careful. When they do, they will behave as if they're entitled to it, or guilt trip you into doing that because clearly you're not using the space, so why shouldn't they?

OH is dead against this as he feels that if we ever need a favour we would of burnt our bridges

Your OP is naive and doesn't understand how these kinds of people work. If they were the type of people who would help you, who'd be considerate, that were good neighbours, they would have automatically respected your boundaries and wouldn't be doing this type of thing in the first place.

When you speak to them, be polite but don't try to soften it by making justifications for your request. That will make you look weak to them and put you in a defensive position. Just ask them or their neighbours not to park in your space, and leave it at that. If they do it again, put very heavy plant pots in (you may not have room for that though), or bollards.

Btw, I know the type of house you live in and have been through similar. My neighbour couldn't be bothered to park properly in her space and in her corner, so she's used to lazily park on an angle which both straddled her space and mine, meaning that when I needed my 2nd space, I wouldn't have been able to use it.

Can you rent your spare parking space on out so it's always occupied?

One of those little fold down parking bars on each of your spaces will resolve the problem.

I hate these new builds estates where there is nowhere for visitors to park, but if you live on one you need to make it clear that your spaces are not up for grabs.

You're right, and your oh us being a wuss. Stating your boundaries is not rude. Your NDB is being rude for allowing people to use your space!!

Oh my word. Planters/ bollards/ bins???? How passive aggressive is that?
Talk to them!!

When you see someone parking in your space, just pop your head out the door and tell them that it isn’t neighbours space, but they can park on neighbours bit/ on the street/ wherever.

Why wouldn’t you do this?
And then the next time you see your neighbours, just mention that their guests seem to be confused about where to park, so could the neighbours please tell them before they arrive?

I suspect if you catch a few visitors when they arrive, the message will get to them loud and clear.

If they don’t listen, THEN it’s time for bins/ bollards/ planters.
You mention housing association in your op , do you think this makes them prone to unreasonableness or something?

I understand your OH's concerns but the longer this goes on, the harder it will be to put a stop to it.

Since neighbour was given permission both times she asked, she may have just assumed you don't mind people parking there - especially as the space is always empty. The fact that the visitors are being friendly and waving through the window suggests that your neighbour has told them you're fine with it (as opposed to the visitor being a selfish dick who just parks there for the hell of it, if you see what I mean).

Filling the space with planters/seating/bins would look really passive-aggressive if you haven't raised it with the neighbour first, and would probably be more damaging to your relationship than having a polite word with her.

If it turns out that she's just a garden variety CF, your neighbourly relations are doomed anyway because she will fall out with you the first time you raise anything with her. Might as well be this!

I don't know. It's very tricky. Saying anything can tend to cause bad feeling. The great thing about passive aggression is that reasonable people get the message. I would do bins and planters and a polite note on their window every time 'good morning this parking space is only for no 2 and we need access at all times for our visitors, thank you for your consideration'

How about parking in the space nearest your neighbour? Visitors would be less likely to park in your other space

Passive aggressive is never a great thing. It's cowardice in fancy dress..

If it was the neighbours themselves that were parking there, I could see that talking to them might feel difficult, but it's not. It's their visitors. So asking them to just let the visitors know that they're parking in the wrong spaces shouldn't be remotely scary.

This happens to us a lot, we have a word. First time it's a gentle word, second time not so much 😁. When we had only one car, it was parked on the middle of our spaces to prevent people parking in the second spot.

We have one neighbour who thinks that his guests can park wherever they want on the street, I've gone out several times to find his guests cars parked nose to nose with mine, preventing me and 2 other neighbours from leaving our properties. I always bang on the door and give short shrift. There have been several stand up rows in the street previously between this particular neighbour and various other neighbours in, because of their lack of consideration.

Why on earth didn’t you go outside and say to the visitor that they couldn’t park on your drive? You saw it happen, they even waved at you. You should have nipped it in the bud then and there.

Are all the spaces in a row, looking like communal parking? Is there any division like a low hedge between your two spaces and the neighbour's? Would it be obvious to visitors that they are yours? Are they numbered?

Definitely don't resort to putting your bins there. Everyone will hate you for creating an eyesore on the street. If it's obvious the spaces are yours, then you have to say it to the neighbour or she'll pretend to herself that you're fine with it.

Neither would I. He's behaving like a wet lettuce.

Plant pots

If you're not using it I would park DH's car in the space nearest the window and let them use the other space until you need it. Do you not have blinds up I can't see in our front room with the shutters up so might be an option.

The reason I haven't said anything is because OH doesn't want to cause bad feeling with them and doesn't want to burn bridges with them.

Each property has 2 allocated parking spaces
OH is at work during the day and that's when it mainly happens.

Then first few times I didn't mind but as it's becoming a regular occurrence I want to nip it in the bud.
I will move the bins to the front until I get a car.
I never see the neighbour to address the issue and don't feel comfortable going round knocking on her door.

Yes it's clearly marked that the parking spaces belong to us, there is a hedge and pavement that separates them.