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AIBU?

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Original poster

Regarding the phone situation.

18 replies

milkymill · 28/04/2008 18:47

Right here's the scenario:

Quite often when the house phone rings, partner A is either busy, or just not in the mood for speaking to anyone so will not answer it. Partner B however, would like to answer the phone in case it is for them.

So if partner B answers the phone and it's for partner B, then they either need to ask whoever it is to call back, or tell a lie.

Is it unreasonable of partner A to expect partner B to answer the phone and make excuses? Or is it unreasonable of partner B to answer the phone and expect partner A to just take it if it is for them?

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 28/04/2008 18:52

If I answer the phone and dh doesn't want to talk I just say he is busy and can he call them back and vice versa

So eg if it is his mother I will mouth "it's your mother" at him and if he does a cutthroat gesture then I will say he is busy

CountessDracula · 28/04/2008 18:53

also we have caller id so we often know who it is before answering

zippitippitoes · 28/04/2008 18:58

well im A and if dont want to speak then i wont

Hecate · 28/04/2008 19:02

If A doesn't want to take the phone call, they don't have to. Just don't take hold of the phone! Say you are not available, tell B to say "A is not available." No excuses needed. Not inconvenient to talk, don't talk. I'm one of these who just ignores the phone, or if dh picks up and says it's X for you, I just say "I'm busy, I'll call later." Job done. I wouldn't go over to him and take the phone from him, just cos he decided to pick it up in case it was for him.

Hecate · 28/04/2008 19:03

I meant not convenient to talk, obviously.

FluffyMummy123 · 28/04/2008 19:03

Message withdrawn

Original poster
milkymill · 28/04/2008 19:07

Yep, think we need caller id!
I'll admit I am partner B. It's usually someone like dh's brother calling, and I just get annoyed having to fob people off.
Dh can be an antisocial bugger sometimes and he tends to do this a lot!

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 28/04/2008 19:12

i hate answering the phone..I always let it go to answer machine then I can choose to pick up if I hear someone speaking...

Hecate · 28/04/2008 19:20

Well, in that case, tell him that from now on you will not be making excuses, you will simply say "He said he doesn't want to come to the phone at the moment, sorry. I'm sure he'll call you later."

peanutbear · 28/04/2008 19:22

we used to do that for each other a lot but we now have an answer phone that screens our calls!!!

JoyS · 28/04/2008 20:05

I screen DH's calls all the time, I don't see what the problem is. Excuses include he's not here, he's giving DD a bath, he's in the shower, he's washing his bike etc depending on how long it's going to be before he calls back.

Is his brother very annoying to talk to or is he just being antisocial?

NotABanana · 28/04/2008 20:06

We know who it is before we answer and decide then whether to answer. Easiest solution all round. If it is answered and the other person doesn't want to talk the person answering will make an excuse.

Original poster
milkymill · 28/04/2008 20:11

Well I know dh's bro can waffle on sometimes. I suppose I just take exception to being put in that position. I think it's a bit lazy and a bit rude.

OP posts:
Hecate · 29/04/2008 07:08

Well, don't accept being put in that position. Tell your husband that if you pick up the phone and it's for him, of course he doesn't have to take the call, but you will not lie for him and you will tell the caller that he is choosing to not take the call at the moment. He then has the choice whether or not he is happy for callers to know that. If he's not, then he has the choice to take the call.

Or get caller ID.

windygalestoday · 29/04/2008 07:15

you should be me!!!!

when our fone rings i get - 'dee dee fone'(i can hear it )'mum mum'

then i get a list of instructions about who will speak to who- dh if its my dad ill fone him later if its paul say ill be there in 10 if its lee tell him i cant go etc etc the boys are far worse-tell her im not allowed to cinemas i want to go with tj etc etc
BUT
get this- its ds3 upstairs asking for ds1 for ps2 cheats .......

bergentulip · 29/04/2008 07:26

We always answer the phone, but can easily tell the person on the phone that A/B is cooking/putting children to bed/in shower/ out. No problem there, and not ever really a lie either.

We sometimes argue about who's going to pick it up though, because whoever is on the phone then does have to speak.
Caller ID is great- his family he deals with, my family I deal with.

Oh, and sometimes we do actually want to be civil and sociable and talk to people!

Sibble · 29/04/2008 07:37

I never answer the phone after 7.30pm. I'm too tired to have a proper conversation and can't be bothered. If dh chooses to answer he knows he has to say I'm doing something and I'll phone back tomorrow.

Most friends and family know me anyway - I tell them I don't answer so they rarely phone. Maybe your dh needs to tell his family and friends to phone him during the day or at teh weekend unless it's an emergency.

btw I do use the phone but I'm an early morning caller - phoning family from 6.30 am onwards!

Twiglett · 29/04/2008 07:55

A is in the right

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