To feel like everything I do is wrong and I should just give up.

[CyanSnake]

I just don’t want to do anything, and u feel like when I do bother it’s not good enough and wrong.

I used to do lots of community based clubs and activities but I’ve given most of them up. The few I still do feel like such an effort. Most of the time I get in from work and I just can’t be bothered. When I do take part nothing seems to be good enough. My suggestions always seem to get met with scorn (but the same suggestion from someone else is met with “that’s a good idea”). Nothing I do seems to get any support.

my house is a mess; my car is a mess; my finances are a mess. I sit alone every night fighting with my own head because on one hand my head screams at me that I’m not living just existing. I should be doing something. But at the same time, I always just so utterly exhusted.

part of me just wants to completely withdraw from the world and focus on myself. But the other part of me is so so desperately lonely already.

Ive been diagnosed with depression in the past and think it might be getting bad again.

Sorry I just wanted to rant.

Yeah, sometimes it feels like we're trapped in a cycle and everything seems futile... Maybe instead of focusing on being productive just try to be present in the moment. Look for smaller and quiter moments or do something you never thought you'd do and see how it makes you feel... Don't look for validation and think this as an opportunity to connect with yourself. Try to understand what matters to you... not what others or the world demands. Also come here and rant once in a while.

Could have written this post myself and am so sorry for you. Are you a quiet in the background person who gets on with it and gets left sweeping the floor and selling raffle tickets, yet doesn't get picked for the fun things? Good idea to focus on what you want to do and have time for yourself putting yourself first. If you're being taken advantage of you could let somebody else step up for a change.

You do sound depressed OP. Book yourself an appointment and have a chat with your GP. Be kind to yourself - it's hard to feel motivated to go out after work when it's dark and cold outside! Maybe try and wrap up warm and have a 10 minute brisk walk round the block? It's a cliché but a bit of brisk exercise does lift the mood. Have a nice long hot shower afterwards and get into cosy pj's and watch something uplifting and undemanding. Concentrate on self care for a bit and don't beat yourself up about what you haven't done.

Hi op, yeah I get you. Days when it's all gone to pot since dawn. I remember reading "smile first thing in the morning, get it over with", I say if you need to yell and throw cushions to feel a bit better, go for it. Do you have a favourite hot drink and treat combo? Do something wonderful for yourself, you deserve it.

I agree you should speak to your GP . I would also take a step back from the activities even for a week or so and consider what they bring to you .
I think it is easy to get caught up in what we feel we must do and feel guilty about commitments . I do think you need to prioritise your own well-being just now . If you aren't getting anything from these activities . Stop them , consider if you miss them and if not see if there are other activities you can do or even just enjoy some relaxing time for yourself . If you feel like you aren't getting to interact with/ see people - see what else you can do .

I think we often have to force ourselves to be sociable . I have often dreaded going out but then had a good time when I go out . It doesn't seem like you are enjoying the time out . That could very well be a blip because you may as you have thought be depressed , and struggle to enjoy things at this time . Or it could be because the activity itself is not rewarding for you .
Can you connect with family / friends ?

What do you enjoy / or is there something that you have enjoyed in the past that you could take up again ?
I do sometimes feel that it is useful to be keep busy as this stops me thinking too much about issues / worries I have . But sometimes I think you just have to work through these feelings rather than ignore them .

Take care .

How are you?