To think my health anxiety is becoming a problem

[Sleepyandexhaused]

For context I used to have really bad health anxiety. It still simmers in the background and I go through times where it’s more intense but much improved. However I’m a FTM my DS is 18mo and when he is unwell I can spiral

This week he had a fever that wouldn’t go down with Calpol or Nurofen over 24 hours. He was distraught, not nursing and just not well. I rang 111 as we couldn’t get a doctor appointment and I was worried about the persistent high temperature despite being given medication. They sent out a paramedic who assessed him and brought us into hospital by ambulance where we were seen by a doctor. He had three sets of people poke and prod at him as well as us (trying to take temp and give medicine which he hates) this was all very distressing for him, he was very upset, it was awful to see.

Next day he had rash on feet and hands, then ulcers so clearly hand foot and mouth. Temperature was normal and seemed ok although not nursing much. He didn’t poo all week so was concerned about constipation and started to worry about dehydration as he was having less milk and not making up for it with enough water so booked gp appointment where they prescribed movicol but were not concerned about dehydration.
Then he woke up from nap and I checked his rash, the spots on his feet were darker and not fully blanching when doing the glass test although he seemed well. Had DH check with glass and he agreed they weren’t fully blanching so I called 111 and they sent us to urgent care. Doctor wasn’t concerned but at our two appointments today he was distraught even though they barely touched him and he became hysterical when doctor took temperature.

He’s been to the doctor three times this week and he seems very fearful now. I just feel awful that I’ve taken him in unnecessarily and I’ve cause him to develop a fear of doctors. My DP is on the other end of the spectrum to me with these things which doesn’t help as I feel he will just dismiss so I have to ultimately decide what to do and I always think better safe than sorry. But now feeling like the worst mum in the world and so guilty that it’s just my anxiety and now this has had a really negative impact on DS. DP thinks I didn’t need to take him and I feel awful

You didn't take him in unnecessarily, you did the right thing. My DH is the same but I honestly think it's because they know we will worry and deal with it, so they have the luxury of relaxing.

I don't think many little kids love being poked and prodded by the doctor. Mine both scream, one more so than the other. Would I change it and not take them to be seen when they're ill? Absolutely not!

If you genuinely feel health anxiety is becoming an issue since becoming a parent then I wholeheartedly recommend getting some support for that, I have and have found this to be helpful.

You have to go with your gut on when to take them to the doctor, and I really think it’s important to follow your instincts here.

I don’t necessarily feel that you have caused a fear, back in the summer my 3 year old had uti and was distraught when having tests done but had been to dr twice since for vaccinations and had no problems.

My youngest is also in hospital a lot and they seem to take a strong dislike to some things without much cause that an adult can see, for example, my son hates having his temperature taken or his blood pressure taken but barely bats an eyelid at having blood tests or injected medications, the nurses tell me this is a common thing.

Please don’t worry about passing on fear/anxiety, but do seek help if you feel that would be a good idea for you.

You did exactly what I would have done. You took the correct routes.
They will get over the association soon enough

Sounds to me like you did the right thing by getting him checked, so well done. I think the best way now to minimise any aversion to doctors that he might have got, is by making sure you don’t show your own anxiety to him. It’s difficult I know, but if he needs to get seen again soon then try to keep it as light and fun as possible, even if you’re feeling stressed inside. x x

It sounds like you were very much right to take him in to be checked. My son developed some pretty intense anxiety around doctors after he needed time in hospital with serious asthma attacks, our gp was lovely and patient with him and also suggested playing doctor with a doctor kit which helped a heap.

Thanks very much everyone, it’s really reassuring to hear that others would have done the same. I was made to feel as though it was me being a hypochondriac and that I’ve put DS through unnecessary stress, which is obviously the last thing I want to do and I was feeling like a failure yesterday so thanks to everyone for responding it means a lot.

You’re quite contradictory because you want your child to have medical care then you describe it as poking and prodding. him. He is only 18 months old. He’s not going to be scared of doctors. I hope things are improving for you soon and your boy.

Therapy!

I am the same. A CBT course addressing projected child health anxiety has been transformational