To forget about this 10+ year friendship

[Muffin002]

I became very close friends to someone via work, they have since left the workplace and their response (several times) to the suggestion of meeting up for a catch up is ‘I’ll look at dates and come back to you’. Alas, they never come back to me.

AIBU to write this friendship off and not reach out again? I am a firm believer of not begging for friendship but after being friends for such a long time this actually hurts a little bit.

Have you ever met outside of work before? Are you sure it was a friendship and not just a work friend of you know what I mean?

Sadly I would let this one go. Who knows maybe she will reach out one day but I wouldn't be chasing it up. I'm sad for you because good friends are hard to come by and I hate that feeling of trying and not getting anything back. She may be going through something personal or is just very busy but we make time for things we want and she maybe just didn't value your friendship as much as you did x

I've had this a couple of times. It is upsetting.

I really think some people struggle to process the ending of something- it's as if they need to cut all association with it. It might be the work connection being cut for them and nothing personal towards you.

I have left mine alone and would hope if we ever bumped into one another we would still be friendly.

I would let it go, you can’t force it. If she wants to progress a friendship she will come to you. Don’t take it personally though, maybe she’s wary of making friends for whatever reason or doesn’t have the time or mental capacity to deal with extra friends right now. I can come across quite distant at times to people I don’t know that well or out of context so I’ve been told. I don’t mean to be, just I get wrapped up in things!

As others have said, probably best to let it go. Seems like maybe it was just a work friendship. In all the jobs I've worked over 40 years I've only ever made 1 or 2 actual friends. I've always got on well with work mates and gone out for drinks, but only around the work timetable.