Leaving gift from work—give to charity instead?

[Alicecatto]

I just finished seven years in a side gig for a charity which gave me an honorarium each year for my duties. Not to brag, but I did a really good job in this role, basically being handed a real problem and turning it around and making it very successful, and I put in more hours than usual because I really believed in the project.

My colleague said they want to thank me for all my work, and give me £150 towards a gift of my choice. They suggested using it for a gift from a store that they run that makes prints…so basically a framed print. That’s really nice and unexpected.

The issue is that I’m nearly 60, retired, and I have really everything I need…house, material possessions, money, and I’m very blessed/lucky. My Christmas presents are bought and waiting to be wrapped. I don’t need another object on the wall, or one sitting on a shelf. I thought about asking that the gift be donated to a charity of my choice, and I was thinking of giving it to a programme that the charity runs. My husband told me they might be offended by that.

AIBU in wanting to give this money to charity? Should I instead give it to an outside charity, or do something else? The last thing I want to do is upset people.

Take the gift- but ask if it would be ok to add it to a raffle.

That way, the business gets the sale, charity gets extra money from the raffle and you can feel good about the print going to someone who loves it.

Ask for Waitrose vouchers. Fancy christmas dinner sorted!

Thanks for this, which is good advice. The problem is that they don’t do raffles. I don’t want to be outing, but let’s just say it is a scholarly academy whose money goes for grants/scholarships for university students/postgrads/faculty.

I hate presents so when I left my last job I asked for any collection to be donated to charity. It was fine. I'd do it again if I ever leave this job!

I just wouldn't. Your colleagues want You to have the gift. So just accept it. I'd be a bit annoyed if somebody gave away (even to a charity) a gift that I had contributed to.

I would ask for it for M&S to get some Christmas food and drink in. Either way I think you should accept it as it makes them feel appreciated

They want to give you £150 but dictate that you spend it in their shop. So they sell you a framed print for £150 and they benefit from the profit! Charming

Was the money collected from colleagues, or is it the charity's money? If from colleagues it would be churlish to reject it, as it is an expression of their appreciation of you. But if it's the charity's money, say you appreciate the sentiment but it's unnecessary and turn it down.

I think your idea is absolutely fine. They've said 'a gift of your choice', so you should choose!
Is there something specific you could give to your charity for that sort of sum?

Just keep the money and spend in on your food shop.

No need to be a martyr about it.

I agree it sounds a bit martyrish but I think I can absolutely see why you don't want them to buy you a gift to hang in your home. That is such a personal thing and I would hate it if somebody did this. Ask for vouchers for a store instead.

Why not explain that you appreciate the gesture as a recognition of your contribution; but that you also recognise the work that they do - would they consider a smaller amount/item to you, and donate the rest in your name to the programme of your choice?

It is the charity's money.

Thanks for all the comments. I really don't have a lot of wall space for more prints. We just inherited MIL's estate and she had a lot of fine art/antiques. We are selling things as we speak that we cannot accommodate.

It isn't out of martyrdom...I helped start a programme that I really believe in, and I would really like the money to go there. I guess I could do food vouchers then. Then no one is upset. Thanks for all your comments.

How about jewellery?

Or vouchers for John Lewis or somewhere like that?

Or membership to English Heritage?

If it's a collection from colleagues that I'd donated to then I'd be a bit upset if it was given away, especially to the charity I work for and paid me the money in the first place! (I do work for a charity).

If it's directly from the employer that might be a bit different, but saying to give it to the charity is a bit 'no thanks, you keep it' and could definitely come across as rude if not handled perfectly.

That puts a new spin on things, I thought it was a whip round type situation

If I were you I think I'd say something along the lines of "Thank you very much for thinking of me, but I wouldn't feel right taking money from the charity and there's really nothing I need"

Also what @StopGo said - unless the printshop is also part of the charity it sounds like they're using you to filter a bit of charity money into their own coffers!

It's difficult isn't it.

As a PP poster said, is it from the charity or colleagues?

if it's the charity, I'd feel ok about saying, that I really appreciate it but it would make me happiest to make a donation in my name to x part of the charity.

but if it's from colleagues, I wouldn't because they're contributing to a gift for you and when that's passed on ( no matter how nicely) it feels 'pointless & like you're rejecting them). Is there nothing you'd like (even though you could afford it anyway) so they feel their contribution is something that makes you happy?

I wouldn't want a print on the wall. They shouldn't be trying to guide you to use the gift there. Don't donate it, but if they said a store of your choice ask for something you'll actually use. Amazon, etc.

Cross posted. Too slow posting!

as it's the charity money & you started a program, I'd just say I'd love it to be donated in my name to x program.

Update. I asked for a National Trust membership for my DH and me. It was about a pound over £150, and they said that was fine. All’s well that ends well. Thanks for all the comments.

I am going to be making a private and separate donation later to the programme I believe in. I can’t see how that will offend anyone really!