Getting cross with the crossing patrol!

[myfaceismyown]

3 days a week I drive my adult DS to his special needs college in a neighbouring town,
I have to drive along a very long busy road that has 2 primary schools, one secondary school and therefore 3 crossing patrols. Normally not an issue and I wave back when they salute a "thank you".
Not today. today I nearly lost it. At the top of the hill, 3rd patrol, the lollipop lady was having a lovely natter with a couple of primary school parents, totally oblivious to a parent indicating to get onto the school road and totally blocking the traffic. This was 3pm so not chucking out time yet. Lollipopper jumped into action to stop the oncoming traffic to let a lone parent across. She then thanked me and I mimed a shrug as I was stuck behind the idiot parent blocking the road. I had a queue of cars stuck behind me as it is a busy thoughfair, and the only direct route to the next town.
So I am indicating to pull out round this blocking car and - hurrah! - there is a break in the oncoming traffic. Instantly nattering lollipop lady jumps into action to stick her pole out to allow another lone parent to cross. Ugh. I never do this but I jammed my hand on the horn, gave her a thumbs down and shouted "you beast", which she probably did not hear.
I did finally get round the idiot blocking person but was late fetching DS which caused him distress.
So AIBU to think that crossing patrol person should have paid as much attention to the traffic as they did to their chat?

Feed it back to the schools

@mnreader thank you. I was getting really embarrassed as I was in effect holding up the traffic because I could not get around that car. I was stuck for just under 20 mins in all. Normally I am in very good time to collect DS.
Sorry to hear about your care lady's priorities.

Have you looked at back roads you could take instead. There are regular backlogs on a neighboring road and if always surprises me how many people don't attempt the very easy, empty short cut through the housing estate and avoid the traffic and traffic lights altogether

@Singleandproud I have looked at Google maps until I am blue in the face, and even dug out our old local road map. The road cuts through farmland. The only alternative is to go into the city outkirts and then into the town where my DS's college is, or to go in the other direction out towards the motorway and back. Either route is over an hour rather than the 45 mins it takes me this way. I am not originally a rural person, so find this all very frustrating. After the road with the schools I take a busy and very hilly, winding Postman Pat type road to get to the next town which gives me the heeby geebies every time! (4 times a day 3 days a week...)

I would set off earlier then morning and afternoon, take a flask and a book with you and enjoy 15 mins to yourself at the other end and travel around school drop off time. The time will pass anyway but at least you'll be doing something for yourself, particularly for the afternoon one where being late causes DS upset.

@Singleandproud thank you. I would normally have 15 mins spare if I was not stuck behind a dozy parent blocking the road, and an oblivious lollypop lady :)
I think i was really just asking if it was ureasonable to get cross about it...

Do you think I should email the school?

This lollipop lady seems to be a danger so do report her inattention and chatting to the local police.

Sorry, should have added a diagram. I am in the red car intending to drive on to the next town, not going to that school.

I assumed the car in front of you was turning right across traffic and couldn’t get a gap, but they were actually turning left and just sitting there? What was stopping them turning in? Did you use your horn or even get out and ask then to move?

Sounds frustrating

But if you were late and your child was distressed, you were cutting it fine by the sound of it anyway.

Absolutely. Phrase it in the right way though. That you recognise the lollipop person is a pillar of the community etc

Bravo 👏 that is a phenomenal diagram, best I've seen.

You aren't unreasonable to be annoyed and it's probably mostly at yourself for being late anyway.

I'm not sure what else she could have done if the road was blocking the way, I doubt she'd be allowed to stop traffic in the other direction for you to go around the other car if it was blocking the way. It is also quite possible her shift hadn't started yet, hence the chatting although if she's in uniform and Hi Vis'd up you aren't to know that

Thanks @Singleandproud amazing what you can do with paint! Pretty sure she was on duty as she stopped the oncoming traffic twice to let parents cross. Unless that is something she enjoys doing in her free time of course, takes all sorts.
@roastiepotato good idea. I will say how much I normally value her efficiency and dedication. Not that I think she could have observed me trying to pass the blocking car and NOT then immediatly jump out with her stp sign to let another parent across the moment I had the opportunity to squiggle past!

@Onthesideofthespiders they were trying to get onto an already full small school road. they could have parked further up where the road widens for a bit and walked back.
@YabbaDabbaDooooo I had 10 mins spare, being stuck behind a selfish twit compounded by a daft lollipop lady made me late.

This is not crossing patrol’s fault.

This is heavy traffic and bad blue car’s fault.

You don’t like being late for your kid - understandable - but sometimes you will be, and there will not always be a way to direct your frustration appropriately.

Jamming your horn at pedestrians and crossing patrol isn’t justifiable at all - in fact it’s not allowed, road rules speaking.

You were frustrated in your big vehicle, and took it out in angry aggressive behaviour towards pedestrians who were vulnerable in the road already in a gnarly blocked road where it feels unsafe.

And now you’re here posting to try for validation because I think you know you were unreasonable.

@TitchyBiteroo I am not sure you understood why I bipped my horn. I had been stuck, fairly patiently, for nearly 20 mins as the traffic built up behind me. The moment there was space to get my little car round the big blocking car - which was a parent going to that school - the lollypop lady sprang out to stop me to let a parent cross the road. She can do that anytime as she has the lollypop stick. I don't :)
I came on here to ask if I was being unreasonable because I have spent the last 20 plus years raising a neurally diverse child with additional physical challenges, which trains you to be very patient. I very rarely lose my temper, but this lollypop lady took the biscuit. She was far too busy chatting to see what was going on. I wanted to wake her up! Oh and I thought the whole point of crossing patrol is for the childrens safety. They had not come out of school yet.
I feel remorse for losing my temper, but oddly still very annoyed that I was not treated with the same respect as any other person. Car or no car.

So why didn’t you, during that 20 minutes, get out and speak to the driver in front? Surely loads of cars behind you were blaring their horns and getting angry. Why didn’t you just go and tell the dozey idiot to move her car off.

@Onthesideofthespiders no one was beeping their horns and no, I wouldn't get out and speak to the driver as a) that would be mortifying and I am not one for confrontation and b) I am physically disabled and would have had to open the drivers door onto oncoming traffic to get out with my crutches. Not something I would feel safe to do.
I kept expecting the "dozey idiot" to move!
I feel calmer this afternoon so I don't think I will be beeping in future. Can't promise though.

I understood - it’s just that I don’t agree with your rationale, and I think you were really unreasonable to honk your horn at a crossing patrol doing their job and another pedestrian, plus the gesture and verbal abuse to the crossing patrol.

Your frustration and loss of patience due to heavy traffic doesn’t trump or excuse the rules of the road - which include not using your car horn to express disapproval at crossing patrol people.

You must live in a a very very calm neighbourhood if you all sat there looking at this car blocking the road and not one person honked their horn.

Its rural. Just how it is I guess. Does everyone honk all the time where you live I wonder?

@TitchyBiteroo oh yes, silly me. I expressly remember that line in the highway code when I was learnimg to drive in 1983. "the rules of the road - which include not using your car horn to express disapproval at crossing patrol people." and certainly do not post about it on Mumsnet.
Always remain calm and never let anyone upset you or you will have to sit on the naughty step...

Whether rural or urban I'd certainly expect people to hink at a blithering idiot blocking main traffic for that long to enter an obviously impassable road. And I'd also expect traffic lady to monitor that situation and wave the driver on to go straight instead if necessary considering they're creating a completely unnecessary hazard (as you experienced yourself.)