Will he think I am crazy?

BeAzureNewt · 2024-11-21T20:56:13+00:00

My son called my date with whom we don't speak that much anymore from my work phone by mistake ,will he think I am crazy if I tell him ? Don't know what to do as he doesn't have that number of mine. He might think I might try to catch him or something

Seashellssanctuary · 21/11/2024 21:13

Block the number?

Waterboatlass · 21/11/2024 21:18

Don't block, no need. If he calls back just say what happened

Original poster

BeAzureNewt · 21/11/2024 21:22

@Waterboatlass
He is going through smth difficult right now and yesterday we agreed we will get in touch when he is back ,I don't want him to think I am crazy calling him from other numbers ,I am afraid he might think I am desperate to talk and checking him from other numbers.

OP posts:

downwindofyou · 21/11/2024 21:22

Your date? But your don't speak with him much any more? I don't understand what this means.

Why was your son calling him?

Original poster

BeAzureNewt · 21/11/2024 21:25

@downwindofyou
It's a complicated situation but my son was watching YouTube and called him by mistake ,he called back I didn't pick up but then I called him and he didn't answer.
I have called him from this number once in the past but his phone was shut down and he didn't know it was me.
I am afraid he is going to put 2 together and think I am desperate or smth

OP posts:

Losingthetimber · 21/11/2024 21:27

I don’t understand either, how is he your date if you don’t talk much, do you mean an ex? And what do you mean we don’t talk to him, plural. Who is we, you and who?

Original poster

BeAzureNewt · 21/11/2024 21:30

@Losingthetimber
My date recently lost his mother and he is abroad.He is not in a good place and we agreed to get in touch once he is back.
Last time we talked was yesterday.
By we I mean him and I.
Now I don't want to seems like I am smothering him.
He doesn't know this number of mine but might suspect it is mine.

OP posts:

5128gap · 21/11/2024 21:32

Do nothing. One call doesn't look 'desperate'. A message or call to say that your son called him by mistake sounds a bit 'yeah right' so might seem like looking for excuses for contact. If you don't contact him again he'll soon realise you weren't desperate.

Losingthetimber · 21/11/2024 21:34

How can your son watching you tube videos get your work phone. Open it, find his number which you’ve not recently called him from that phone so wouldn’t be at the top of the list, and call him from it?

Original poster

BeAzureNewt · 21/11/2024 21:37

his name starts with an A it is top of the list as I don't have many numbers on that phone.
Whatsapp was open on background and my son is autistic ,he didn't know what he was pressing.
I wish he would have picked up when my son called him to see it was by mistake .if I tell him he will think I am looking for excuses to talk and I don't want that.

OP posts:

SkaneTos · 21/11/2024 21:37

I agree with @5128gap .

Evaka · 21/11/2024 22:00

If he doesn't know the number he'll assume it was a wrong number and mofe on with his life!

SnoopysHoose · 21/11/2024 22:01

Why are you calling him 'my date'? is he a bf? how many dates?

nobodysdaughter · 21/11/2024 22:05

My date?

Lmnop22 · 21/11/2024 22:11

If this is a partner you’re in regular contact with (as in yesterday) why are you so concerned he will think you’re desperate?

If you’re in a relationship and he realises you called from your work number won’t he just assume you tried to ring him from your work phone? Why would that be an issue? Has he asked for space or broken up with you? I’m so confused why getting a missed call even if he knew it was your work phone would concern him unless you’ve been hounding him from your usual number first and been asked to stop?

Theres way more to this I think!

niadainud · 21/11/2024 22:16

BeAzureNewt · 21/11/2024 21:37

his name starts with an A it is top of the list as I don't have many numbers on that phone.
Whatsapp was open on background and my son is autistic ,he didn't know what he was pressing.
I wish he would have picked up when my son called him to see it was by mistake .if I tell him he will think I am looking for excuses to talk and I don't want that.

Eh? How can you say, "my date with whom we don't speak" when you just mean you (singular) don't speak to him? You mean, "my date to whom I don't speak," presumably.

Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it. I'd just leave him wondering.

Noseybookworm · 21/11/2024 22:22

I would say nothing unless he asks. Then just say casually that it must have been your son by accident when he was playing on your phone. Don't make a big deal of it 🤷‍♀️

KrisAkabusi · 21/11/2024 22:27

You're overthinking this. if he asks, tell him what happened. If he doesn't, no harm done.

KrisAkabusi · 21/11/2024 22:28

You're oceryhinking this.bif he asks, tell him what happened. If he doesn't, no harm done.

Tiedyesquad · 21/11/2024 22:31

I get it. People pretending not to are just being rude, not everyone has perfect written English.

You were seeing someone, probably quite casually, and he said his mother died and he was going abroad so needed space and you agreed to leave him alone for a bit.

But you are thinking about him and hope he does come back and pick things up again.

Your son dialled him by mistake and you are worried that you look like you're trying to find excuses to call him and seem desperate.

I think the reality is OP that you know he is not as into you as you are into him. That's why it bothers you. Take the power back and just ignore him, don't call again or try and explain. Assume he isn't coming back and get on with your life. Then if he does, HE will need to chase YOU.

Original poster

BeAzureNewt · 22/11/2024 07:36

@Tiedyesquad
It's more or less like that only that I was the one to ask him if he wants space from me as he would reply to my messages say he will call and not call.
His mum died only last weekend so i am understanding that i am not a priority in his mind. he didn't take it well ,he said that he hasn't asked for space from me and that it seems I don't want to be understanding until he comes back in the UK.
I reassured him i was just checking to see what he needs and he said we will talk as his mind is not here right now.
I told him I understand and that I will check in with him to see how he is doing from time to time.
That's why I don't want him to know my son video called him as this conversation happened only a night before.

OP posts:

twentysevendresses · 22/11/2024 07:55

Blimey, if there's this much drama at the start of a relationship, it doesn't bode well does it OP? It's supposed to be fun at the beginning, not complicated and messy! 🤦‍♀️

Waterboatlass · 22/11/2024 08:33

I get it, you're at an early stage, he's got something important going on and you don't want to look like you're trying to intrude. You feel extra unsure of protocol because your attempts to offer space/support didn't go well. Don't worry though, a missed call is fine, if he calls back just explain briefly like you would with anyone. If you don't weather this it wasn't because of the call, it's because you're not a good fit, compound by a major bereavement happening at an early stage.

Original poster

BeAzureNewt · 22/11/2024 08:38

@twentysevendresses
It's more the circumstances of now ,the drama and anxiety is only in my mind

OP posts:

LilyJessie · 22/11/2024 08:43

He has said he doesn't want space? You've decided he wants it? Right after his mum has just died...
Sounds like you're creating drama to get his attention.
I think that's more problematic than your son calling him off a work phone (something I don't believe when you say - sorry - but I don't think he will either).

I think you need to stop making this time about you, and start making it about him.