Learn to drive or buy new house?!

[CreamLampshade]

I know these are two quite different things. But would be grateful for your thoughts! Context: baby no.1 due June 2025, I don’t drive and currently live in a smallish terraced house with a v small box room for the baby and no green space within walking distance. We have a spiral staircase which I’m worried will be a death trap for a baby. There is also only one nice coffee shop 20 mins walk away, and the area is quite rough and in a bit of a no man’s land between lots of things.

If I use public transport, I can get to a range of parks, loads of baby activities and places with more restaurants etc within 30 mins. This however feels a really long time with a baby especially on maternity leave where I’ll feel knackered and probably just want to go for a quick walk somewhere green and a coffee somewhere nice and close?

If I drive all of these things are more like 10-15 mins away.

On the other hand I could get a bigger mortgage and move further out to. Which is more suburban and not necessarily my vibe. But I could get a bigger house with more space and better proximity to coffee shops etc this way. I would have to reduce my pension contributions to release mt salary but I’m currently paying a very high percentage as I was interesting in retiring early. This seems maybe like less of a priority now, maybe I should sacrifice this is a bit for happiness and convenience in the moment? I’ve always lived in shitty places and part of me thinks when baby comes it would be nice to be somewhere that feels safe and green.

It is a much bigger financial commitment tho and I could probs fix the issues with this house for an extra £20k which I could borrow from the bank on top of my mortgage.

I also feel this is now or never as I don’t want to make mum friends and then have to move away. But maybe it’s ok to make mum friends in this new area anyway by going to baby groups there as it’s 30 min on the bus or 15 mins in a car hence wondering if I should just learn to drive! For some reason the idea of having to get on the bus a lot is making me feel anxious but maybe I’m overthinking this?! There are a few baby things within walking distance here too like swimming lessons and mum walks etc. I’m just aware at some point we will want to move due to the box room.

WwyD?

yabu - learn to drive
Yanbu - move now to bigger house

Lenders cannot by law ask if you are pregnant and you do not have to inform them.

House! The quicker you move, the lower the cost. Assuming no big price drop coming. You need to move anyway as the box room will fit for prob 5 years if you only have one but in 5 years it will cost more to move.

I would still learn to drive but put it on the back burner. Reason being that tests are about 6 months out last I heard so it'll be ages until you even can drive. Sort the other.

I'd move house. With the cost of cars and insurance and road tax and repairs. I don't drive and use the bus loads. Once baby is in the pram then it's just a case of getting on the bus. You may also find later on that a half hour walk to keep baby sleeping is something you'd be willing to do.

I doubt most people tell them. Why would anyone answer in a way that might mean the whole thing gets called off. I viewed my first house at 8 months pregnant. No one questioned anything.

@CreamLampshade is having a preferred "vibe" and a coffee shop your choice or your baby/toddler choice???? Pretty sure the toddler would prefer a safe home in a nicer area and mostly like nicer nurseries/schools with close proximity to parks!

I think you should buy a coffee shop. You sound obsessed with coffee

House, but pick your neighbourhood and friends carefully. As this thread shows of your friends are car people or you live in a car neighbourhood with no transport you'll get left out. Life is much easier if you can plonk baby in a pan and walk 5 mins to something nice.

You're probably going to want to do both at some point but at the moment I'd move.

Move, think really carefully about schools and what's nearby for kids. If you make Mum friends you want to be able to invite them for play dates and have your kids go off to the same nurseries and schools. That won't happen if you don't live in the same area and if your house is too small. A garden will be such a bonus with a toddler. There are many hours to fill in a day! Plus a spiral staircase is not ideal with a baby or toddlers.
As you have a car already your dh could take you out for driving lessons in that at any time.

I would prioritise moving as the house is not practical for your needs.

However you will most likely need to drive as well unless you live where there are excellent transport links .

Can you do a driving course and then use husbands car when you need to ?

They don't specifically ask if you are pregnant, they ask if you know of any upcoming changes in circumstances which may affect your income/ability to pay. We have had this question every time we've renewed. It is a catch-all that would also be applicable if you knew your job was at risk of redundancy. Obviously you might work somewhere that pays 100% of your salary during mat leave then has an onsite FOC nursery, in which case there would be nothing to declare, but that isn't true for many. I'm sure many people choose not to disclose, but it is unwise to lie on your mortgage application. With OP due in 2 months, without even considering the time a new purchase is likely to take, she would struggle to say she was unaware of this sizeable change to the affordability calculations.

house in good catchment area while you can afford it, build a life there before child starts school, you can learn to drive any time

House (I couldn't handle a spiral staircase for me, never mind while carrying baby!)

Do both, I don't see why they are related? Spending on driving lessons will not affect your ability to get a mortgage.

There's a lot of "I" in your message. I can take a larger mortgage etc? Can I recommend you consider how much of this, the baby, the [astronomical] childcare costs, the cost of maternity leave and the rest will be joint family costs rather than allocated.

In your shoes subject to you both being able to cover childcare as well as a larger mortgage, I'd move sooner rather than later. Higher stamp duty, capital gains etc come April and there are signs that more housing is coming on the market as landlords try to divest. The issues with your area and house will be even more heightened once the baby has arrived.

No reason not to learn to drive while you are in early pregnancy. Much harder with a newborn. You don't have to start driving immediately

House first, then lessons.

I passed my driving test when DD was 7, that was a good age as her sports club started doing matches further afield I managed just fine up till then. I found having lessons a really good way of getting 'me' back and achieving something for me and doing something that wasn't just child orientated so quite enjoyed learning at an older age.

Op mentioned it twice, hardly an obsession

Joke

Move house

once paid off you’re probs sitting on a more lucrative asset than your current house and location

House, and buy somewhere with great transport links.

I say that as a die hard driver but that can come later :)