to just not pick up their calls?

[IWabtToBeLeftAlone]

For past few months I’ve felt a little down and just ignored my sisters (x2) and mums calls. Thing is I don’t feel like talking to them for various reasons. It just feels like anything I tell my mum she tells them and vice versa it gets annoying.

I’ve really enjoyed not talking to them tbh. They keep calling me. I have responded to the odd message here and there to say I’m okay but don’t feel like chatting and will be in touch when I’m better.

I’ve actually kept my phone on DND and it’s been lovely! I allow calls for my kids school and doctors etc. plus DH but that’s all.

I’ve had issues in the past growing up when my mum would neglect me then my sisters repeated same pattern e..g one example I was aged 10 and my parents went away for the weekend leaving my sisters in charge - aged 19 and 17. Well they both went out the entire weekend and I was left home alone. I was a very young 10 year old such as I was quite immature and baby like so not an average 10 year old. I remember I was very scared and cried the whole time.

I hate they act like they so concerned about me and I know they just looking for gossip and bored as there’s no drama now with them stirring the pot with me.

I feel like you need to be organised as to how you want to handle things op

First of all, I'd be saying that I'm taking a break from speaking to them for my mental health and when I'm ready, I'll contact them. I'd say that im not sure how long i need the break for but that im completely okay and just need space. x

I screen my dad's calls because he's a narcissistic arsehole who phones me regularly and shouts at me. It makes me less anxious to know he can't call me. I've not told him this because he'd be very angry about it. You've told them that you're fine by text and that you're taking time out, they need to respect that.

What you’ve done makes sense but be prepared for them to make you the issue, not them. Deflect this though.

I don't think I would ignore all their calls as that seems to be causing questions and drama too, but you could take one or two and keep the conversation very superficial and just not tell them that you are feeling down or any other really personal stuff that would be food for gossip. The conversations can be kept short if they open with 'I just thought I'd call you before I go out to meet someone/get my eyes tested/shopping....' and if the conversation starts heading where you don't want it to say you have to go and end the call.

I don't think that the way you're handling it is ultimately going to lead to a more peaceful life for you. All you're doing is making them more eager to contact you. If you want space then you need to tell them you want space. It would also be helpful to do something proactive (eg councelling) to deal with the childhood trauma you're carrying.

It sounds like your mother has a lot to answer for but it's worth bearing in mind that your sisters were most likely neglected too and will have their own stories of things that happened to all of you that you weren't aware of or were too young to remember. Cut them some slack.

was aged 10 and my parents went away for the weekend leaving my sisters in charge - aged 19 and 17. Well they both went out the entire weekend and I was left home alone

Just for a little perspective....your parents were at fault in that situation. Your sisters were immature and not responsible enough to properly care for a 10 year old on their own for an entire weekend. So perhaps try to let go of your resentment over that particular situation.

You are not a scared and helpless 10 year old anymore. Take control over your conversations with you mother and siblings. Avoiding them really isn't the answer, but speaking to them when it suits you and only discussing what you want to is the adult thing to do. Be firm and take control.

It is very freeing to give up the "baby sister" dynamic. You are an adult and in control of your own life. They have no power over you (unless you allow them to) so no need to hide from them.