To be a bit miffed I was passed over for promotion?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

I work in a small team of 7. We have a manager and a deputy manager. The deputy, Sue, gave up her role as she wants less responsibility. Out of those who work there, I've been there the longest alongside Sue and the manager.

In a meeting last week all the staff were informed at the same time that Barbara will be our new deputy manager. Barbara joined a year ago and is very good at her job but had considerable time off in Jan last year (4 weeks) and recently has been off since mid Sept - back in Jan - after an op. We all work part time but guess who has had to cover most of Barbara's hours - for various reasons? Not something I wanted and I have found it difficult (at the same time as having some other challenges in my life - now resolved).

I feel miffed:
A. I wasn't asked if I want the job (I don't really but it would have been nice to be asked, particularly as a kind of thank you for doing so much extra in the past couple of months)
B. I feel like the manager and the deputy both think Barbara is better than me at the job despite huge amounts of time off (some beyond her control, though I have my suspicions) and despite me being consistent and going above and beyond in the past few months.
C. No one whispered a word of this to me and I was just told out of the blue at the same time as everyone else, who are all quite new, which feels a bit disrespectful to me.

AIBU to feel annoyed even though I didn't want the job and Barbara is very good and will do a good job? Trying to hold onto to that but still feel like it wasn't handled well.

Have you queried this with HR or equivalent, asking what the protocol is for filling vacant posts?

They should have advertised it. It’s an awful feeling not knowing if there is a reason you were overlooked. But think about if you do actually want to become a supervisor, or are you just disappointed you weren’t asked. Because if you do want to, look for another job in the role you want. You know you can do the job, you have the experience. No point waiting around for someone to leave.

Sometimes things that should happen fairly just don’t, I have no idea if you are good enough for the role, but if you are it could unfortunately be as simple as she has got her feet under the table and charmed them.

Let me tell you about an interview I had for a teaching assistant job, probably 15 years ago now, I had a degree and was working in a supermarket, which I went back to and never tried again after my confidence took such a huge blow.

I travelled by train, I got to my destination very early, earlier than I needed, but didn’t want to run the risk of being late. Walking out the station I saw a pigeon get killed by a car, that was a bad omen. I walked around the local area to kill time, it was cold so eventually went to wait in the school, signed in. Suddenly a door opened and one of the interviewers looked at me and and in a despairing tone said “well we may as well see you NOW, as your so early and here before who SHOULD be next!”.

The interview went horribly as I was completely off stride and couldn’t manage to say anything right, nothing I’d rehearsed would come out. The interview I think was cut short. When I went to sign out, there was a handsome guy who was meant to go in when I had done, he was flirting away with the receptionist, who was hanging on his every word, I meekly asked if I could sign out, the receptionist clearly irritated, pushed the book over without breaking eye contact with this guy, off I went absolutely crushed.

I know this is different to your problem OP, but what I’m saying is, I knew I could have done a really good job in that position, but nothing went right, I didn’t make the right noises, or charm anyone and I sure as hell wasn’t liked by anyone there, someone has to be the loser in any given situation. Somehow she has made herself noticed and liked to your superiors, it’s not fair, you should have been considered, but not everything is in your control all the time.

You could think that actually at least you can do your job and she will have all the worry that goes with a higher role, or you can go find another position, where they will notice you, see your worth and like you, if that’s what you want and are able to find that.