To be annoyed at DH for putting toddler in front of tv?

[showersandflowers]

I'm not anti screens for my kid. We have just sort of limited it to 30 mins in the evening for her.

DH has a day off with toddler (3yo) and I just called to see how everyone was doing and he's shoved her in front of a screen while he plays world of Warcraft. He's being shifty about how long she's been there.

When I have days off with her we go to play groups and the park or walks in the woods. I get laundry and cleaning done while she plays at home. She gets her 30 mins of screen time in the evening if she's been good all day.

When dad has a day off his main parenting tool is a screen - not so he can do essential housework, but so he can play computer games.

Why are men like this. Parenting would be so easy if all there was to it was shoving them in front of screen while you just did what you liked.

Rant over.

They are lazy and selfish.

Men aren’t like this, I think you’re being a bit offensive. Some parents are like this and your husband seems to be one of them.

If you’ve both agreed your child will have no more than 30mins of screen time a day, then you need to ask him what’s changed his opinion on screen time. I think it’s fine to have a mix, parenting is full on and having a few minutes of peace reading a book and watching tv and a cup of tea can be a nice bit of downtime for everyone if you’ve had a full on day.

I would just message why do you want to spend your 1-1 time with DD in front of two separate screens. Do you want DD to remember that world of warcraft was more interesting than her

Men aren’t like this, I think you’re being a bit offensive. Some parents are like this and your husband seems to be one of them.

This ^^

Time after time, posters need this explained to them.

I think their insistence that 'men are like this', makes them feel better in some way but of course it means they rarely ever raise the bar.

Well my experience is that most men are like this so I'm with you OP.

Your dh is a lazy bugger. Totally unacceptable. Btw, not all men are like this. You’ve just chosen a wrong’un.

I think the computer games is the actual issue here. You had a child with a man-child.

My husband would always check re the TV limit and if its okay to turn it on, I wouldn't accept this, what a way to spend the day

Sounds like they're having a lovely lazy day together. Leave them be

Men are not like this. Just lazy selfish ones.

Men aren't like this. My DH is a big gamer but would never even dream of this, he games when the DC are in bed.

He's being lazy and selfish.

Your h is a lazy parent but his laziness isn’t because he’s a man. I’ve seen plenty of preschoolers in buggies with phones or tablets being pushed my mums or grans too.

Your h is selfish and gaming all day is clearly his ideal day off. He can’t see that while dd is at home, his day offs have to be different for her sake too. If she was in nursery then he could have gamed all day but he was lazy to care.

What a massive ick.

Is it a one off, or does he regularly have days off at home?

Honestly as a one off it wouldn't bother me - I've done the same with DS.

First poster got it

Lazy and selfish

No that's fair, it's not all men. I'm
just angry.

I should have said why is HE like this.

She's an easy kid and goes to bed at 6pm, we get plenty of relaxing grown up time!

Just tell him it's not acceptable anymore, would he listen to that?

Why are men like this.

They are not all like this. Your DH is a lazy fkr, and a bad parent, more concerned with gaming than enriching his child's life and spending time together doing something. Did he even want kids? Does he parent at all? Or is it all you? Him being an additional child for you to look after?

He's like this because he is an immature twat who had no business fathering a child.

What does he bring to the table, OP?

He doesn't do housework and he doesn't do parenting. I'm struggling to see what value he brings to your life.

I think this would be the case if it wasn't a pattern of him constantly leaving her watching something on her own (as in, doing the activity on her own - I know he's probably in the same room) while he plays his game. I'm all for cosy, lazy days with family, but it's different to putting your kid on a separate screen while you get absorbed in your own game, every single time.

I actually agree with you @recipientofraspberries. If he said they were cuddled up watching a Christmas movie (or any movie!) together, that'd be a different thing. That can be a bonding experience. We sometimes do this on rainy Sundays as a special treat and I don't think id be as upset (although probably still a bit because I still think that should be an evening/ rainy day activity!). But she's in front of a separate screen. There's no interaction.

I agree men are not like this. My DH was always the one wanting to go out with DD because staying indoors with her was more difficult. Your DH needs speaking to

This. Watching a screen or the back of daddy's head isn't a lovely day. Snuggled up with a studio ghibli film? Great!

I'd also be checking the log of activity on the tablet later to find out how long she was on it.

I would be very annoyed. I get that you need a break as parents but there's other ways. Colouring and stickers. Set up an activity, with toys or play dog etc obviously you need to supervise but you can still sit and have a cup of tea. But to stick them in front of a screen to play video games is totally unreasonable.

I think I would go down the route of, I get that it's tough to have her all day so maybe next time I can show you some activities to set up for her because being in front of a screen all day is not good for her and now she can't have her evening TV so her routine is completely out.