I’ve just visited my elderly father who lives on his own. We live some distance apart so I don’t get to see him often. My mother passed a few years ago and she would always buy him clothes, he never bought any himself. She used to constantly complain about the way he would dress himself, for example a dress shirt tucked into sweat pants, paired with socks and sandals. When I saw him he was wearing a stained hat and a threadbare faded windbreaker. Sometimes he looks like what you would think a homeless man would look like, except he has a home and plenty of money. He’s not cheap either, he’s very generous and he’ll spend money on things, he just never bothers with clothes. I’ve started very occasionally buying him clothes as otherwise he will just continue on with the shabby stained threadbare look until the clothes literally fall to bits.
This time around I bought him a good quality coat and hat, neither of which were cheap, in styles and colours he normally wears. I mention the cost because he hates anything cheap, yet wears old stained clothing, makes no sense but anyways. Whenever I do this I know I’m in for a battle where he turns grumpy and sour that I bought him clothing, as if I presented him with a stinking bag of refuse for him to throw out rather than nice new clothing. However he always wears the clothing, although we have yet to see with the coat and hat. I’ll find out tomorrow, otherwise I have another battle on my hands.
Why bother? Because he’s my father and I feel a responsibility to him and my mother, because I know she would not like to see him looking like this. I don’t think he has a sentimental attachment to the clothing, I think he just can’t be bothered. My guess is that me buying him clothing feels like I’m trying to control or baby him or something.