Bf annoyed at me for asking for a massage

[Cooky1998]

I have chronic pain in my back and had a really bad flare up the last 2 days at work. They’ve been really stressful and busy.

I have lots of knots so I asked DP to give me a massage and to see if there’s any knots. He said yes. I then asked him a few extra things (like “ooh can you just check this bit” and “can you just try up here”). It took about 20 mins.

He would say yes but act as if it was annoying, so I said this. He said “yes because im trying to relax too”.
Bearing in mind, he’s had the last 2 days off work and done absolutely nothing, and I’ve worked my arse off and all I asked for was a rub.

He said the rub isn’t the problem, it’s the fact I’m “constantly asking him to do more things”. So then it ends up being longer than just a massage. he said it doesn’t matter what he hasn’t done, annual leave is for relaxing.
He then said “I wouldn’t be asking you to do things for me when you have holiday”

Is it me or is that a bit mean???

LTB

I hate massaging people so the request would have been a no from me. Just book in for a massage if your backs that bad or go to a physio.

It seems very odd that someone who supposedly loves you can’t give up 20 minutes out of two days’ holiday to help you when you’re in pain. He doesn’t sound like a partner for life or someone it would be wise to have children wih if that’s what you want in your future OP as a happy family needs lots of thinking about other people not just yourself. So big questions need to be asked.

I hate giving or receiving massages so I would be bored after about three minutes but I would do it for someone who was experiencing pain. Twenty minutes does seem a long time.

I think if you want a proper targeted massage then your best booking a proper targeted massage. Massaging someone for 20 mins would make me feel uncomfy

a quick rub is one thing but a full on massage another

You sound hard work and I agree with him that AL is for relaxing and doing nothing if that’s what he wants to do with it.

I say that as someone who has chronic pain so I can sympathise with feeling shit.

Everytime you have a situation with your partner like that,consider how it would be if your were carrying his child… if he cannot do it simply out of love.doesnt it make you wonder how he will be later on in life ?

He sounds utterly selfish to me. Get out now, I would say.

Mean AF. What a misery. What a golden opportunity he had to display affection and strengthen your bond.

What a turn off!!

His issue doesn't seem to be giving the initial massage but "scope creep" to steal a corporate phrase! He agreed willingly to do what you asked initially but if you have a habit (don't know if you do, just saying!) Of asking him to do one thing and then adding extra things on then he's probably got fed up over time.

Is this what he works as during the day ? is he good at it ? otherwise why don't you pay for it to be professionally done if you are in so much pain..