Does he not have to pay for the kids?

[singlemumof2]

To keep a long story short. My ex h walked out a while ago after getting someone else pregnant. We've two young kids under age of 10
He was paying me £60 per week for the kids until recently (since finding out he's becoming a dad again)
Hes just told me he will not be contributing anymore, but will still be taking the children. I'm on benefits at the moment thanks to getting diagnosed with a illness just over a yr ago. Ex H claims because I get an amount for being a single mum with 2 kids he doesn't have to contribute anything because " I get covered for that under my benefits for being a single mum" ??

I'm so confused because he had been contributing here while I was on benefits this past year or more. In fairness I didn't always get the £60 a week, the payments were sporadic but he'd always get paid on track and then it would fall behind again BUT he was making payments even if they were all over the place.

I understand he will now have four children to manage but how is that my fault? He isn't claiming he's not paying because he's other children to look after he's simply sticking to the excuse of "you get paid a subsidised amount for having the children and being a single parent so technically I don't have to pay you anything"

The kids are with him one midweek and every other weekend so he's claiming he needs the extra money to supply his own clothing etc for the kids at his house.

I've no idea if he is correct in what he's telling me. He's on benefits himself but he also does undeclared work so I don't think cms is going to be any help to me seeing as they see it as he's not much income coming in and the fact he will have two other children to provide for. I feel very deflated that he's doing this. I struggle to manage financially as it is, as any parent will understand, so doing it alone mentally and financially its draining. I'm completely shocked at what he's saying to me and no clue if he's correct on what he's spouting to me about his reason that he doesn't need to help out here, and all when it's coming up to Christmas and I've santa to manage and kitting the kids in warm clothing. I'm really fretting

get that CMS claim in today!

priority debt

and let everyone you know that he's abandoned his kids and isn't paying a penny towards their keep. Name and shame

Definitely make a cms claim!!!

Also report him to HMRC

He needs to pay up or step up

I'm with the other posters: tell him you will report his taxfree earnings if he doesn't continue to pay + you will tell everyone he knows about him not paying anything. Should work.

I understand why people are suggesting that you should tell him you’ll report him if he doesn’t pay towards the children, but if there is a chance that he will then refuse to see the kids at all out of anger, I’m not sure I would take that step, for their sake.

But you can go to CMS (though the amount will be tiny) and then anonymously report him for his tax avoidance. Because the utter shitbag deserves some sort of comeuppance.

I’m sorry you are going through this, OP.

Thank you @ChocolateSpider - it is much as I feared and shows where children and resident parents are in the hierarchy of Important Things. 🙄

As others have said, contact the cms.

Don't bother arguing with this abysmal man, I'm sure he likes the attention

It's all tailored to the feckless men. I went through it. He lived a life of Reilly and I never fully recovered financially.

This is the official list so any of these and they don’t have to pay. Nothing to stop an ex getting an advance once a year and paying it off slowly over the year to avoid maintenance payments which is what I’m certain my ex does.

Dear god, another useless specimen not paying for his kids while creating more. Op, as others have said, contact CMS, and preferably HMRC - get what the kids are owed even if it’s not a lot.

Actually don’t give him the heads up, just report him, the tight gaslighting bastard.

Thanks everyone. I was a bit baffled by the statement he made that I get paid a subsidised amount for bring a single parent so I didn't feel I had a case to argue back. I wasn't sure if he was correct and I'm not sure where he got that info. How do I explain to him that just because I'm on benefits doesn't mean he "doesn't" have to help out. I'm struggling financially on my own with two kids as it is with the cost of living.
I'm not going to plead or beg him for money. I'm really angry because you can see his new child is dressed to the nines, mine have hand me downs abd I feel like a useless mum. I'll struggle without that extra small bit of cash but I'll survive somehow. But I'd like to educate him on that he is actually wrong and that he does have to pay he genuinely seems to believe he doesn't have to contribute because I get help through benefits. And we all know benefits is pittens, it is in my case anyway

I do need the cash for help but I think im more disappointed and angry at his lack of morals and that he's decided to do this to me after an extreme long length of time together and he claims to really respect me. I don't feel very respected! I honestly never imagined he'd turn into this of thinking he doesn't need to help here. I would never have classed him as one of those men

“How do I explain to him that just because I'm on benefits doesn't mean he "doesn't" have to help out.”

As others have said, don’t bother explaining it to him. He won’t listen because he doesn’t want to know. Just make a CMS claim, that will demonstrate that he’s wrong much more effectively. Also, yes, report him to DWP - if that means he chooses not to see his children that alone speaks volumes to the kind of father he is.

Dob the bastard in for his undeclared income. Today.

What a total POS 😡

And you are NOT "useless"

All these grown men on benefits and yet knocking out kid after kid with multiple women.

Pitiful.

Honestly, I think you need to not bother arguing with the guy.

He's shown you who he is, now you show him he doesn't matter and contact the cms x

There's a weird section of society where the men like the image of having children with diferent women and having 'baby mama drama'.

They love to pose online and bang on about how dads matter whilst treating the mothers of these kids terribly.

You him its not the tax payers job to pay for his kids for him and you'll be going to CMS.

Don't be stubborn and go through CMS.

Yes just what I was going to say. Why should he be able to get extra money illegally but then not use it to provide for his children. Try to gather any evidence of it before you threaten him though