This is going to be jumbled but I need a strangers perspective - aibu to cut my dad off and never talk to him again. He is alone, no family close by and no partner. Only child is me. I haven’t lived with him since I was 2, he has been alone since then. He wants us to see each other multiple times a week. Here are my thoughts:
He always let me down as a child, he would say he was picking me up then leave me to wait for hours and not show up. My mum eventually stopped telling me when he promised to take me somewhere.
All my life he would call and text all the time asking where I am and who I am with. It felt controlling and only stopped when I basically stopped replying to these questions in my 20’s (I’m in my 40’s now)
He would say his hands were cold and warm them up by putting his hands between my legs. He didn’t go any further than that (that I remember) but it always made me uncomfortable. My mum saw him do this and said nothing. I would say this stopped when I was about 13-14 and stopped wearing skirts.
He has showed up to my jobs over the years loads of times, like I am a child and ask to see me. Then it would be for a stupid reason like he bought some new sweets and I needed to try them??!!
He would stare at schoolgirls when we’re in the car. Now I notice he does this with girls around 18-20 years old, always staring at them even when I am talking to him.
i have little to no memories from childhood so I don’t know if anything happened to me but I have always felt uncomfortable around him and how dominating and controlling his personality is. I had horrible body image issues for years. I started dressing like a tomboy and put on weight, in hindsight I think this is because I didn’t want any man to look at me or comment on my body. If I made myself repulsive then they wouldn’t comment or touch me.
I’m grown with children of my own and I have distanced myself from him (he has never been alone with my children fyi and he is not invited to my home, when I see him it is always somewhere like a cafe) . I don’t really want him anywhere near us but I feel he has been so emotionally abusive over the years that I am too scared to say that
He says things like ‘you never see me / talk to me anymore ’ when I haven’t spoken to him for like 3 days.
he can be quite violent and nasty and I worry what he would say /do if I told him straight.