To not let it go

[LoveMySushi]

I know i probably am, but I just cant let it go just like that.

So my son plays in a team sport. They have a team of 12 main players and they get rotated in and out during the games in groups of 4. 4 kids play for a few min, then the second group of 4 etc.
Anyways, they are quite bad over all. DS plays in a different club thats a bit more advanced (higer age group as well), but because of his younger age he is not yet allowed to compete with that team.

Anyways, they had a competition yesterday and only 4 players showed up including my son. 3 kids cancelled the same morning via sports app and the reason noted down was “doesnt feel like it”. It was terrible because its quite intense and the poor kids didnt get any breaks. For the second game my son managed to bring over two of his friends from the advanced team to help out and they did great.

DH says just let it go since it worked out for the best. They rarely win and with the advanced players they won easily for once. They probably would have lost if the main players showed up.
Im very tempted to send a message in the group chat because its pretty shitty to leave your team hanging with no valid reason and on such short notice. I usually dont really care much, but DS was completely drained after the first game and one of his teammates threw up in the end cuz he was over doing it.
Trainer probably should have cancelled with so little players, but the ones that did show up actually care about the championship and really wanted to try.

Would you say something? Ask the trainer to have a word? Just let it go since it worked out for the best?

It’s not for you to take it upon yourself to tell other parents that you don’t think they or their children had a good enough reason not to attend. It’s for the trainer to manage. And if the team is a bit shit then that’s also for the trainer to address, it must be incredibly demoralising for children to show up to a game which they know they’re probably going to lose because they don’t have the right skills.

@ComtesseDeSpair
Thats true, but when you sign up to the club you can choose to be in the fun group or the competition group.
Even with no skills you can join the competition group which is great in a way because its inclusive. But if you choose this group you should at least bother to show up.
Its even more demoralising for kids who are trying hard and losing.

Also they could have written any reason (illness, family day, etc.)
“I dont feel like it” just sounds like a big f you to the rest of the team, no?

How old are the kids?

I do get your frustration but I also agree with pp, this isn't for you to be messaging. It's for the trainer/coach to manage

The kids are 10

So how many minutes in total were they playing? Trying to figure out why they were drained and throwing up.

Anyway, annoying...yes. Your place to address it? No. That's down to the coach/management.

I wouldn’t mention it by text, maybe in person if there was a moment.

They do have shitty ideas about being in a “team”.

2x 30mins with a short half time break in between. Its high intensity especially for the ones who really try hard.

I'm sorry but one hour of running about had kids drained and throwing up?

My son plays football and sometimes plays two games in a row if the second team is short of players, it happens.

It's frustrating for the kids who turn up and try hard, but it's definitely going to cause WW3 if you wade into the chat. Leave it to the coach.

Good lord, what sport is it?!

Its more fast paced than football. But thats not the issue. My problem is with lack of team spirit.

My ds used to play 3 full games over a weekend. You're being very precious OP, if your ds wants to play its all to the good because he got more game time than usual.

I’d ask the coach to send round a message to parents reminding them that they’ve made a commitment that their child attends, explaining the potential effect on the others if they don’t. It shouldn’t need to be said but so many people are too dim and entitled to realise or care, so I’m not surprised you’re angry. The message would be much better coming from the coach/manager than from you as a parent, though.

Shouldn't your son be happy he got more game time and won?!

My son is 9, plays basketball which is obviously quite an intense game, and he’s a give it 100% player, and sometimes you do have to play the whole game when you don’t have a sub. It’s tiring but it’s a kids sport, it won’t kill them! Mine would be bouncing around for swimming 10 minutes after and spend the afternoon on the trampoline. I wouldn’t say anything, your son is competitive and it was good stamina training. You’ll be in the next league next season it sounds like. Ditto I’ve seen kids in his footy team play two games in a row as the next team was short.

Yes surely being benched is what really annoys the competitive kids!

I don't think I'd approach the parents, largely because it sounds like they wouldn't care anyway. I might be looking for a new club though.

'Doesn't feel like it' is a really shitty excuse. YANBU to be pissed off, but better that any curt reminder of team responsibility comes from the coach.
Well done to your son!

If you want your child ostracized go ahead.

You have no idea what is happening in people's lives. They're hardly likely to put details in a group chat.

They are ten it's a sport! It ain't the Olympics!

Suggest to the coach that he makes it clear in the rules that commitment is required and that children will be chucked out if they don't turn up without good reason. That would have sorted out the "Don't feel like it" kids.

Thanks everyone!
Yes, i know its not the Olympics and honestly I dont care about the win or loss. Also my son was fine playing the whole game. The other issue is just that 2 of the 4 players were completely useless and just standing around, so my son and the 4th kid had to basically play alone the whole game. Thats another issue though.
Again, im not upset about the playtime. My son actually doesnt mind that. Im upset because so many kids didnt show and out of 8 no shows 3 had the audacity to say they arent coming because they cant be bothered.
on the morning of the game.. If they had cancelled earlier the trainer could have found replacements for both games.

I hope the trainer does bring it up. They can always swap to the fun team. Nobody is forced to participate.

Its for the coach to bring up and if it happens again you can say you will pull him off the pitch if you think it is not in his best interests.

My boys played at that age and the coaches wouldn't have tolerated that for a minute.

Parents and coaches are giving up their free time to organise, coach and referee games.

I coach a kids football team of the same age group and have to occasionally remind the parents of the commitment required (like once every couple of years). You could maybe mention your annoyance to the coach in a casual type way and see if it prompts them to say something to the group.

We do 1 hour of training twice per week then a 1 hour match at the weekend. It's non-competitive at this age so I think folk don't take it too seriously and at times we're scraping to try and get 50% of our registered players to show up so we can actually play matches with the bare minimum allowed.

I don't think parents always understand all the hard work that goes on in the background for those '3 hours' a week that get bumped off if something better comes along. Registering all the kids, insurances, PVG checks, going on first aid training / child wellbeing training / appropriate coaching level training, organising places to practice and play matches, contacting the other teams' coaches to arrange games, bookkeeping, planning out training sessions, ordering kit to wear / use, painting lines on the grass (omg I had no idea how much of my life would be taken up with painting lines!!), setting everything up on match days, taking it all back down again, etc, etc, etc.

"doesn't feel like it"

Pathetic.

I cannot f ing stand it when people defend behaviour like this, "they're only 10" "this isn't the olympics", no but it's your lazy, spoilt child who is letting their team mates down and thinking it's fine. Sure that will bode well for them in later life.

OP you are 100% right and I completely agree and would feel the same. Sick to the back teeth of parents who cannot be arsed to instill any semblance of basic decency in their little darlings and let them get away with murder. Pps above are completely missing the point.

I probably wouldn''t say anything even though I would type the message out 50 times. It isn't worth the hassle it will bring to you.

"The other issue is just that 2 of the 4 players were completely useless"

What a shitty way to talk about two ten year olds.