Trampoline Club

[Yennah]

DD (6) has been attending a local trampoline club for just over a year. Two her friends also attend - 1 is our NCT friend and she goes to another local school and the other girl is in DD's class and they're good friends.

We are classed as the "development squad" - basically it is non-competitive and no pressure to take things seriously or enter competitions.

To start off with the 3 girls were all together, being instructed by the same teacher. However, over time the other 2 girls have been moved up to different trampolines and DD has been kept back in a group with 4 year olds who have just started.

At the end of a session recently, we were all asked to stay back. I stayed with the other two mums as we were asked to wait and the other two girls were awarded a certificate, had photos taken etc.DD received nothing despite us being asked to stay. We have spoken to DD about she can't get everything all of the time and she was doing great and was working towards getting her certificate.

Over the last couple of months, it feels like they have given up on DD. She just wants to bounce and puts her heart and soul into it, but because they do not see her as "competition material" each week she's just left with the little kids and she is getting really demoralised when she sees her two friends learning all new things.

I don't know whether I should say anything. We are paying nearly £40 a month and I feel DD isn't really getting anything out of it and has just been forgotten about as they don't perceive her as having talent. In all honesty, she just wants to do it for fun which we fully support.

The other mums have now received emails inviting their daughters to the next squad up.

I would be happy for DD to stop going if she wanted, but also fully support her if she wishes to continue, but I don;t know how to broach this with the club - the fact that she's with the really little ones and not being encouraged or developed. Last week two teenagers were helping and just stood laughing at DD when she couldn't quite grasp what she was being asked to do.

Her friends are about to move up to the next level again and she can see she's being left behind and each week she's so upset at the end of the lesson. DH says to knock it on the head, but I don't want DD to feel she has to give up on something she enjoys. Any advice?!

• I should add that the woman who runs the group is very unapproachable.

We had the same with gymnastics. My youngest was about 6 at the time too. The people running the club were very shocked when we said we were withdrawing her as she was fed up of not progressing.

This happened to me as a child. I loved it but wasn't progressing so they suggested I was taken out of the classes. Might sound a bit dramatic but it stayed with me for life.

I wouldn’t have my six year old in an activity where they’re being laughed at, the adult in charge is unapproachable, they’re in tears after the session, they’re left out of certificates etc and they’re making no progress. Sounds awful and it’s going to harm her self esteem. She’s still incredibly young.

You need to pull the poor child out and enroll her in either a nicer trampoline class or a different sport.

Yes I would rather do that, but DD says she wants to carry on with it so it’s tricky.

When she didn’t get the certificate and was in tears they just said she wasn’t there yet so felt cruel to ask her to stay and see her friends be rewarded.

DD's club were good at managing this - they have two streams. One for the more capable, one for the less.

The 'elite' ones were quietly sent in one direction, where they could work to their skill level, and progress to competitions etc as desired.

The others with less ability (inc my DD) were sent to a different class. They still had tons of fun, learning new things (albeit not at the same level or intensity as the ones with more ability) but importantly, they still felt like they were progressing, and its a great sport for core muscle etc.

If your club is only worried about the elite pupils, leave and find a more inclusive one.

Yes I get that. A family friend once told me I wasn’t as pretty as my sister. I’ve never forgotten that either.

Trampoling isn’t her forte, so unless she is happy to b with 4 year olds try something else, no good flogging a dead horse.

All the gymnastics type clubs around us are like this. They take your money every week but will favour ones they want in the squad every time. One club near us apparently asks people to leave it they don't make the competitive squad which is ludicrous in my opinion. 99.5% of their students will never go onto be competitive so why cut them off?

We pulled dd out after she made no progress and started to be 'coached' by 15 year olds who would vape or smoke at the entrance, and other girls started getting injured because they weren't being properly taught.

You need an honest conversation with the club as the teens should not be laughing at her.

Ask the club what they do to support recreational participants? Do they have classes for older beginners that she could progress to? (Often termed recreational classes). Do they see her progressing with time?

Then ask if she wants to carry on or try out a new sport?

Who owns the club? They may be more approachable than the coach.

You shouldn't be paying that much money a month for your DD to be laughed at and neglected. They are missing out on a business opportunity as she won't be the only one who enjoys trampolining but doesn't want to be in an elite group. There must be a demand for children who want to do it for fun and exercise rather than as a competitive sport.

Last week two teenagers were helping and just stood laughing at DD when she couldn't quite grasp what she was being asked to do. - this bit is appalling and makes me sad. Teenagers or not, they’re either being paid or doing this for volunteering experience/uni applications etc and should know better. I would absolutely raise this with the club owner. At the same time, just ask in a non-confrontational way what the plan is for your daughter and that she’s feeling a bit demotivated and you are concerned that she’s not making much progress.

Are the other girls picking up the skills faster and therefore need and are able to work on the next set of skills?

What is the general pathway do they have recreation classes age 4-7, 8-11, 12-15 etc with beginner, intermediate and advanced skills and different group per age/skill?

If she wants to just be with her friends you'll need to book a private session for the three girls instead of group classes.

I would contact the organiser with your concerns. If fobbed off then I would leave and find something better suited.

Try a team sport that doesnt rely on individual skills. I always recommend girls rugby as it's so inclusive, social and great for a girls self esteem and body confidence as all body shapes are celebrated.everyone gets to play at least 1/2 a match if they want to. Players are thin on the ground so no A and B stream, clubs often cluster to have enough players.

Ours only costs £70 for the whole year, subsidised kit all you need to fork out for is boots, ever disappearing mouth guards and socks. The season finishes in May so you get time to have a 'summer' sport too.

Rugby is mixed and non-contact until U11s.

Find a better more inclusive club. This one is not doing your dd any favours

I coached both Gymnastics and Trampoline in another life for a while. Also managed a large group of qualified coaches.

You need to watch your child carefully, while she is being coached, and quietly assess yourself how she is doing, compared with those around her. Does she listen well, is she able to understand what is being asked of her, is she showing the kind of flexibility, control, that might be expected of her age group/class level? You need to make an honest personal assessment, based on just her. Both disciplines involve being able to carry out basic skills, even at the fun level, and it can be a bit of a toughie for some children (and parents) to find out that they might not just be getting there, all at the same time, and for the one “left behind” very hard. If you think she is honestly at the same level, then have a quiet word with her coach, and ask how far she might be from progressing to the next level. These are paid for lessons, so this is absolutely your right, but make it a constructive conversation, not confrontational.

Trampolining is a bit different to learning to swim. Learning to swim will involve key stages, but it’s the distance achieved that usually results in a badge. Trampolining is more about the quality of a move carried out (and it’s degree of difficulty at a competitive level), so it’s not always obvious to persons watching what might be going on. That said, at your daughter’s stage it should still be mainly fun based, so let her coach know how badly she might be feeling at not having progressed, and she needs confidence at the moment as this will be a set back for her. But this is part of life, and no matter what hobbies children take up, there’s usually another child who can perform better at something, so it’s finding that niche.

I hope she gets on, and moves along, but be very wary of of moving her upwards before she is ready, as the challenges will only become harder, and then she really will feel out of her depth. Good luck with it😁

Edit…just seen that you mentioned that some of the teenagers were laughing at her. Not nice, but girls can be very cruel. Coaches need to have a word.

What does NCT friend mean? Sorry to have to ask.

@Getitwright it's someone she met in antenatal classes

Thanks everyone.