To wonder how you're all just living your lives?

[Pretwix]

Apologies in advance for the manically written post - once I started typing, it was quite a big release! I am feeling so fed up with myself at the moment and can't see how everyone just gets on with things. I set myself these small goals every day but I seem to be unable to reach them. Every evening I get my workout gear ready and a bottle ready to fill. I intend to do a workout that I enjoy but I find myself waking up and just not wanting to do it. It's not even that I'm too tired, I just want to stay safe in my bed and not start the day. I'll just lie there dozing for an hour. I get up late and the amount I got ready the night before completely depends on my motivation (not a lot atm). So I'm rushing making lunch and getting clothes out. Then I get my 4 yo DS up and he will just say no to most things I ask him to do. I try and be really gentle and patient with him but I feel so stressed. I get him to nursery and he just cries and holds onto my leg as I leave. I do hybrid working but feel exhausted either way. I crave sugar immediately and sometimes manage to power through It. It gets better through the day but I do find work quite overwhelming. It really impacts me when I forget to do something or I make a mistake. I feel like a failure. I get home and feel too tired to make a plan for the next day. I'm quite likely to binge on chocolate at this time. I take a lot of comfort in all the wrong foods which probably worsens this vicious cycle, but I can't imagine getting through a day without having sweet treats throughout the day. I just need that comfort. I feel like I set all these goals everyday and I'm failing to achieve them and it's so frustrating and I don't know where to start but I know I can't carry on like this. Any advice? I'm finding life so hard right now.

Stop setting yourself extra goals? You’re bringing up a small child and working an external job on top of that. You’re already doing amazingly and dealing with a lot of people wanting a lot of things from you. If you can take an hour in bed in the morning, start to do so intentionally and actually enjoy it! No more guilt. It doesn’t help. I try to notice tiny things that feel nice, like warm water when washing my hands, or stretching my arms out wide, or lying on the floor and breathing deeply for a minute. It’s nice. But in any case, no more guilt.

I am so sorry you are struggling. I do too - to an extent - my one difference is sugar. I cannot overstate how toxic added sugar is. There is no doubt that this is having a significant effect on you.

I notice that if I eat sugar (say biscuits for instance) - about 15-20 mins later I will feel sleepy. I saw the connection suddenly and realised how bad sugar is for the body. It’s addictive and like anything which is, you get a down from it afterwards and you crave more.
It’s not you OP it’s your diet.
a detox would be my recommendation, but I do acknowledge that this is easier said than done.

Im the same op, I could have written this. Information on how bad sugar is doesn’t help, we know. This isn’t about sugar addiction, the cravings are an emotional response. I’m worst when I have pmt or I’m feeling stressed. I’m sorry I don’t have the answers because I’m still trying to find them. One thing that helps, I try to identify the one thing that’s stressing me the most and just try to sort it or get it over with. Sometimes I realise it’s been causing me more stress than I knew to which I respond with binging. And if you’re feeling down just try to be kind to yourself.

I think the first step is just getting on with the tasks you set yourself. Force yourself to prep things the night before to make the next day easier, soon as you get into that routine the mornings will be a lot less stressful. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to get shit done.

I can’t really speak for anyone else but I think a lot of us look like we are just living but actually don’t find it all completely easy either so you’re not alone in this, I think guilt just makes things worse thinking we should be living up to some expectations when really we just need to accept how we are feeling set small goals and be kind to ourselves x

Oh 100% this. Conversely there will be people op doing half of what you are achieving and patting themselves on the back. If you’ve a tendency to be down on yourself it’s hard not to be, and if you meet all the goals you set you will just find more.

Could you try rewriting your post saying all the things you did rather than the ones you didn’t.

if you don’t find it easy to get up early for a workout then it’s not easy to do. Your brain will tell you a million reasons not to get up. If you do want to try for an early morning workout I find it vital to have got my feet on the floor before my brain wakes up

I struggle with this too, on and off. When it’s working, the key is to pretty unconsciously pull yourself out of bed (I use Mel Robbins’ 5-second rule) and dress in workout gear, take a swig of water before even engaging your brain.

Once I’m prepped, app open and I’m in position on the mat, I want to do the workout and then the good habits snowball from there- I’ve worked out, so want a healthy breakfast and to keep up with the water intake etc.

It’s a cliche, but the first step really is the hardest. If at any point I asked myself should I do this (workout/cook from scratch) or take the comfort route, I’d choose the comfort route every time.

And then once you’ve done one thing intentionally, all the other challenges of the day feel easier.

I say this, but I’m really in a slump at the moment that I need to drag myself out of too! The season change/dark morning and evening doesn’t help my motivation and I usually feel a dip about this time of year.

Where is the father of the child in this? Does he help in any way?

You don't need to think about whether or not you want to do something, you just do it.

I start my day listening to a few minutes of a motivational audiobook or podcast to get into a good mindset. Then I get up and do a workout. I have the heating set to be on because no one wants to get out of bed if it's cold and they don't have to.

I focus on the outcomes of what I want to achieve. If that's not strong enough for you you'll never do the tasks. It doesn't necessarily have to be about you, it could be you want to be healthy to be a good example and live longer for your kids, or because you don't want them to grow up like you did or whatever it is.

Switch to mini versions of what you have chocolate-wise, and go for low calorie things for the moment, like the low cal chocolate coated ice creams on sticks, so they take time to eat and you feel like you've had a lot when you haven't.

So you are attempting to wake up an hour earlier than you wake your 4 yo up to get to nursery, which needs to be done in advance of you arriving at your full-time job? Then when you don't get up you call that a lie-in? You are craving sugar and feeling depressed because you are sleep deprived. You are repeatedly waking yourself up before dawn so you can spend an hour feeling bad about yourself because you are obviously too exhausted to do a workout.

Stop putting unrealistic expectations on yourself and deliberately disturbing your sleep for no good reason.

Your jobs at the moment: Get yourself and DS to where they need to be at the right time, dressed and more-or-less clean. Feed yourself and DS. Get yourself and DS to bed at a reasonable hour.

If you want to do some exercise, go for a walk in your lunch break.

You don't need to be getting up at 5am to work out.

I'm feeling similar OP. The difference is I think you are actually getting enough sleep given that you aren't tired when you wake up. In contrast I go to bed too late which worsens both my mood, attentiveness and sugar cravings during the day. I couldn't even contemplate working out in the morning, but then I probably would never try as I'm not a morning person.

I need to get more sleep and eat better. But, one thing I have made into a habit is getting out for a walk everyday at lunchtime. It's good in terms of exercise, and getting some sunlight helps with mood and quality (if not quantity) of sleep. So at least I'm doing one thing right. Also, there is much less of a barrier to going for a walk versus running, getting to the gym etc, as you just need to put on trainers and a coat.