Is his wife using him?

[rainingitspouring2]

My DB (Brother) is married and has 2 young children. His wife is from another country in Europe and she has recently returned home while my brother stays here and continues to work.
They are building a house in said country. He works all hours under the sun and sends every penny he makes to her.
Recently we found out the house he is building is under her name and not his and she also got annoyed with him because he booked to go over at Xmas to see her and the children but she said he could make double money over Xmas and it was a wasted opportunity.
We found out he also has credit cards we told him he doesn't need them as he is a high earner but she was not happy that we encouraged him to pay them off and cut them up.
I don't want to get involved and intrude on their relationship and appreciate she wants the house built asap. The plan is for him then to move over himself one day but he doesn't speak the language and doesn't have many transferable skills in the town they are building in.
AIBU to think some of this is ringing alarm bells?
I fear once the house is finished she will want a divorce? Should I say something as he is my brother and I want to look out for him. Or is this quite a common set up in this kind of long distance scenario and I should mind my business?

Are you saying if a close relative or friend was being scammed you wouldn't get involved because you would rather mind your own business?

Wow

OL if he is a high earner then surely a house in Poland will be very quickly paid off. As others have said, £100k will build a decent house. In the random location you mention it will be even cheaper. Even if it's a mansion it will be less than £200k.
Where is the rest of his money?

@downwindofyou he earns a lot of money as he does a lot of overtime and is working 7 days a week sometimes not because he is a professional doctor or lawyer iyswim

If that was my brother I would take the piss out of him and call him what he is...... "A total mug". It is your duty as his sister to do the same.

I think the OP is right to be concerned in this situation and also that its not intruding on her brother's personal life. Some people are more vulnerable than others to bring used.
This is where those of us with functional family relationships have the advantage as we look out for each other.

So he will have to learn the language, won't he? It's such a cliche - English people moving around the world expecting everyone to speak English. There is certainly no shortage of opportunities to learn the language while still living in the UK. I bet his wife learned English while living here. Why can't he do the same?
Don't know about the house being in her name but I imagine that Brexit changed quite a few things and it may well be an easier option. I am forced to sell my flat due to changes in tax brackets due to Brexit.
Your brother is an adult. They made a decision as a family to move somewhere where his savings buys them a much better quality of life. If he is happy with this plan, I wouldn't say a thing. The fact that you made him cut up his credit cards says quite a lot about your level of involvement in his personal life and finances and, of I were his wife, I wouldn't be happy about you meddling either.

The fact she doesn't want him to see their children over Christmas is hugely worrying. Most mothers want a family Christmas, it seems to be genetically wired into us. How often does he see his children?

They have children (plural) that ship has long since sailed. He has to move to Poland now, to be with his children.

I agree that if she genuinely doesn't want him to come over for Christmas that's a worry, but is that what's happening, or is it that they'd worked out a timeline for completing the house and moving in together permanently as a family, and missing out on the lucrative work (a few thousand € perhaps) over the holidays plus paying to travel at peak time (maybe another 1000€ if hire cars or more expensive than usual transport to the rural location on a bank holiday and so on are involved at peak time) will mean not meeting the construction bills they've committed to on schedule?

It would be interesting to hear the sister in law's side of the story as her in- laws also sound as though they don't like her and try to damage her relationship with her husband and interfere in their family finances.

The fact that this isn't a new relationship but one with at least two children means the brother and his wife are their own nuclear family and his mum and sister need to respect that he is a father to the children and that has to be his top priority.

The fact that she is pissed off he has booked to go and visit her and his children at Christmas instead of staying here and continuing to work over the holidays to send her more cash instead....pretty much answers your question.

If this actually does all go to plan and she isn't using him to build her a house before she dumps him, what exactly is he going to do over there, does he know? has he thought any of this through? because it sounds like he will be expected to be the one bringing in all the money.