Play Dates Last 2 Hrs Max

[SunshineAfterTheRainR]

If you were invited to a play date for your child at their friend’s house, the expectation would be that you’d stay 2 hours max right?! This has alllllways been the unspoken rule I’ve noticed and become accustomed to. So, friend invites you over for 1pm, you let them play until 2.45ish and then start packing up and saying you must be off and head out the door for 3pm (or earlier is fine). I’ve just had to give a MOUNTAIN of hints to a parent still here at 5pm and it was exhausting getting them out of the door. They were hinting to stay for dinner. AIBU expecting them to have left after two hours?

Im so confused by people not letting their kids play with friends on Sundays. When do they play with friends?

when the kids were toddlers I feel like 2 hours was about right since one of us had to stay. Got longer with drop offs and now we have extra kids here a lot for however long it all works.

some people just need more than a hint!

After school play dates are really common here. So my DS (6) has 1 friend who plays here straight from school and has his dinner on Mondays, another who comes Wednesday then on Fridays we are so lucky that school finishes at 1.30pm, so parents are really keen to make the most of that afternoon. So currently my DS and his 2 closest friends rotate round us 3 parents, usually starting at a park, and we see other children from school too, sometimes put a general message on the class Watsapp as people really prioritise these Fri pms.

Weekends the birthday parties tend to happen, although some are after school too. Weekends we all tend to prefer at least one day just for family and extended family, usually visiting Grandparents, lunching with wider family, etc. Many families attend church or mosque on Sundays for the whole morning as well, followed by family time.

What's wrong with that?

DD is an only child, and we don't live near family. She used to get bored on a weekend.

At that age I think 2 hours is about right, but that will stretch as they get older. Definitely always include in your invite how long you’re expecting them to stay though - when my youngest was 4, we invited a kid for a 10am play date and the mum dropped him off at 9.45 then went to work for the day! She’s a nice lady but was from overseas and used to a different culture around play dates. Now we always specify :)

And play dates here are mostly on Sundays, I don’t get the drama about that at all.

Yup! I feel the same about birthday parties. After the two hour mark someone ends up crying injured and there’s usually a nose bleed.

That said, my 6 year olds bestie is such hard work I couldn’t manage more than 2 hours. My youngest bestie could stay for two weeks - he’s delight and they play son nicely!

They are common here.

Why the Sunday thing derailing the thread. My DH works weekends so Sunday is as good a day as any for me.

After two hours I would wrap up with a trip to the playground and leave parent and child there after a play around.

I work p/t so host playdates after school during the week. 3hrs is probably the norm.
Weekends I tend to keep free for family (DH's non WFH days are long so he doesn't see much of the youngest) unless there's birthday parties.
2hrs feels quite short but hanging on expecting dinners is cheeky.

Well this will horrify you then....

A parent once came over with their DS for an after school play date, the kids were 8 so I thought it was odd she wanted to stay anyway. It started at 3pm and by 5 I was ready for them to fuck off - I'd worked all day already!

So she starts getting up to leave (I think, brilliant - I can start relaxing and get into the shower) but then she starts telling her DS to "be good" whilst she's gone.

Excuse me WHAT!? Those 2 hours were the pre-play date portion of the playdate WTF!? I let it slide, moslty because I was in shock.

I think she was hoping id cook dinner; but this was never agreed or asked - it was just meant to be a "pop your DS in and let the kids play at mine for an hour or 2 after school" since they were too young to play out at that point. So I thought CF!! I took her son back to her after another 1 hour and said, I needed to get dinner on, they played really nicely, good to see you etc...

I thought, there's no way I'm doing dinner for CF behaviour like that. I felt like it was really taking advantage, plus my DS was also ready for this kid to be gone by 5 too, let alone stay around for dinner with him!

What country are you in and how does everyone manage to work? Sounds difficult!

anyway I think having a cutoff for stay play dates is best so in future if you like just be more clear from the start - would be great if you came by 2-4 and then just get them out. Or start thinking about drop offs as they’re much easier and always have a defined end.

Some people are so entitled aren’t they. Having said that I usually pick them up from school, get home before 4, give them tea/dinner at 5 and prearrange for them to be picked up at 6. I had one begging to stay longer saying “can’t you and my mum just have tea whilst we play a bit longer?” I said “sorry kid, but you’re always welcome to come back another time”. Out at 6!

I've had plenty of play dates like that too. This was definitely described/agreed as a low energy quick playdate of kids after school.

We walked the kids home together as we only live about 20 houses apart. I fucked up by inviting her in for a "quick cuppa" - but I think if she accepted that, thats on her - she can't then decide playdate only begins when she leaves.

SE England, everyone is either a SAHP, works part-time or works from home.

I’ve noticed a big shift with flexible working. Lots of couples who work FT in very professional jobs (e.g. accountants) are actually often both on the school run and 1 or both are often at the park for an hour after school as they can decide when their breaks are. Some are on the phone whilst doing the school run/at the park. Great there are more options for parents nowadays 😊

Two hours is plenty for young children especially when the parents need to stay 2. Older children who are left 7 onwards - I would say 3-4 hours more usual )