To ask if you have ever been told you smell....

[InThePinkScarf]

And how did you respond to the person telling you ?
Just interested by the other thread going on here and always wondered what it would be like for the person told they smell.

I was. I was pretty neglected as a child - never taught that daily showers were important, what deodorant was used for, my nails were constantly filthy and I couldn't figure out how to get them clean! Oh, and that clothes only needed washing if they were stained 🤢

Got pulled aside as a teen by a youth worker and told I smelled and needed to do more about it. If I'd had been taught the basics at home and was just slacking myself that would've been useful. As it was, I didn't know what to do (and was too embarrassed to ask!) so just wore a coat everywhere for years hoping that masked the smell somehow? Ditched the youth group though!

I distinctly remember when I was 13 years old I was standing beside a child in my class and he told me that I smelt funny and to stand somewhere else. I was baffled as I couldn't smell anything funny. Last year he friended me on Facebook. I accepted. I'm too embarrassed to ask if he remembers what he said to me 😳

I had a colleague who used to wear canvas shoes with no socks in summer.

The smell was unpleasant for those of us who sat on the same bank of desks (she was otherwise very well turned out, just one thing of those things).

She always started early, so I made sure I was also in early, and had a quiet word with her.

She was absolutely lovely, and it was mortifying for both of us, but I did think I would want to know if it was me. The awkwardness of that convo still haunts me though.

I feel eternal gratitude to my little group of friends when I was about 13, who told me that my sweat now smelt and I should use a deodorant. My parents had always scoffed at the very idea of deodorants - I think I must have tentatively discussed using one. This was years ago tbf when people weren’t quite as deodorised as now, but I’m also convinced that they both had a very poor sense of smell.

I was terribly embarrassed but crept off to a chemists and bought a deodorant which I started using. Looking back, my friends did me a huge favour because I then went to a new school where I would have been absolutely slaughtered if I’d smelt of sweat.

@LittleRedRidingHoody I think that’s quite a sad story. The youth worker shamed you but didn’t point you towards what you needed to do. Surely the opposite of what they should have done.

My husband has often told me when I've been unwell(I have pots and can faint when unwell and the heat of the shower makes that worse) and been took weak to shower. I appreciate his honesty tbh and do try and freshen up until I'm strong enough to shower again.

Yes, I was on an adult learning course when I was early twenties. I was suffering from depression at the time, not taking care of myself and to make it worse lived in a crappy bed sit where the shower and washing machine (shared, for the whole building) were always breaking down. A group of women decided to come up to me and tell me. I was very upset and burst into tears. It would be nice to say I was grateful, bought a stick of deodorant, problem solved but honestly it just made me feel worse about myself. The way they did it made me feel ganged up on. When the teacher found out they got told if they ever have problems like that they should go on their own and say it to the teacher and they will deal with it. It came up quite often because it was a course for people with mh problems/ nd/ disabilities.

I have, when I was about 13. Hygiene wasn't a big thing in my house growing up. We didn't have a shower, just a bath, and didn't have much money so heating water was sometimes too expensive. Plus I was quite depressed. I knew I smelled bad but I sort of hated myself and part of me didn't care. I knew I would never be attractive so it felt like what was the point.

When I was told I think I was nice about it. I hope I was. I was just sad.

Another student I knew slightly told me that in my first year at university - 'you have a personal freshness problem.' I was alarmed and astonished because I had a bath every morning and used deodorant and washed my clothes frequently. She was a nice girl who said it kindly so I don't think she was making it up, but it was hard to know how to react. I asked her a few weeks later if the problem was still there and she said no. Still don't know what happened. Perhaps I had some kind of infection or reaction to food.

Interesting to read these. So many people assume that a hygiene problem is just 'not washing ' but it's clearly a deeper issue.

I repeatedly told my teenage dd that she needed to shower and specifically wash her armpits more often as she was starting to smell, she had plenty of deodorant available and I gave her a clean blouse for school every day. As always she knew better and wouldn't listen to me until a couple of her friends took her aside nicely and told her. She's never had any issues since.

I remember an old friend of mine at 26 years old visiting her parents. When she left, her mum texted her something along the lines of 'Sarah. We noticed a pungent smell from you today. Do you need some help with soaps or what not? We love you dearly.'

It went down about as well as a cold bowl of sick.

As I mentioned on the other thread, it must be so hard to say without offending or hurting the other person.