I have two special needs kids (one at nursery on the days i work/one at primary) Currently having major issues with the oldest with school refusal, hitting me, not sleeping, etc. I work two days a week. Even on my non working days im up at 5.30am, get the kids ready, feed the dogs, walk the dogs, get the washing, dinners, pets, household management stuff, cleaning, studying for the masters that goes along with my job, taking kids to classes, baths, bedtimes, making sure everything is paid for, etc, etc. No time for myself. I basically live my life in single parent mode as my husband is useless. I have also been left totally responsible for dealing with the school, GP and CAHMS stuff for my oldest. My daughter can be very hard work quite alot of the time due to her condition and every morning is a battle to get her to school, a battle that I fight alone and offen end up getting physically hurt by my child. It's heartbreaking.
Husband works Monday to Friday, 8.30 - 6.30, he rolls out of bed at 8am to give himself just enough time to get ready work and then leaves. He comes back, makes his dinner, showers and then sits down to watch TV until bed. At weekends he feels he should just be staying in the house watching TV or playing computer games as he's been at work all week so I have to arrange all the family days out if i actually want to get out (and pay for them if thats required) or do stuff with the kids myself. He doesn't even do any DIY when it's required, I need to arrange people to come out to do that. Doesn't do any cleaning, that's 100% me too.
I suffer from bad depression and major blood pressure issues (the GP thinks I may have already had a couple of TIA's) due to the stress of the oldest, money worries, etc. I'm only 38! I earn about £12,000 a year but can't access the majority of benefits (I get child disability for my oldest and child benefit, just the non means tested ones) because my husband earns £50,000+. We halve the main household bills but that's just electricity, Internet and council tax, I am left to pay all other bills such as home insurance, factor fee's, etc and all of the kids classes, food and clothes....any other things that come up through the month is left for me to pay. We both pay our own cars and petrol. No mortgage because i bought the house before we met and paid it off. Any family holidays we always pay half each.
I end up in my over draft every month and it stresses me out terribly. He will transfer me money if I ask but I hate doing it as it ends up in an argument or lecture about how I need to take more hours at work. I think he thinks extra hours at nursery are free, after school is free, dog walkers are free and that we can afford someone to come in to run the house/do the cleaning/do everything i do and deal with two disabled kids. I'd love to go back to work full time as I love my job but it's really not realistic at this moment in time. I feel like life shouldn't be this much of a struggle. Right now he's looking at buying himself a new £4000 PC and im wondering how i can make my overdraft stretch to pay for me and the kids food this week. Am I wrong for expecting him to help out more? Financially at least and then that takes that stress off me.