To think he is lying about his mother dying ?

[BeAzureNewt]

I have been dating this guy and a few weeks ago he said his mother is very ill and he had to go away to care for her.
He sent me a photo of her in the hospital while being away when I asked how his mother was doing and that reassured me he is not lying. (I didn't ask for reassurance he sent it when I asked how his mother was doing ).he comes back and we end up at my house have sex and we talked for a couple of hours.
He said he lives with his cousin and that he was texting him to go give him the keys as he was locked out,he showed me the texts between them.
We don't live far from each other so he said he was going to come back.
I was waiting for him to come back and I text him ,the text was only with one tick on whatassap so I call him and his phone was shut down.
I check Facebook and his profile picture and cover photo were gone but we were still friends ,his tiktok account deleted.
I panicked and though he was mad at me because I Insinuated to him that maybe the cousin needing keys was just an excuse to not spend the night.
I sent him a text saying sorry if I offended you but shutting down your phone and keeping me hanging is not OK so all the best I am done.
He texts this morning saying his mother died so I offered my condolences.
Why would he shut down the phone if his mum died ?wouldn't he need it open to talk to relatives ?
I am thinking he might be lying but saying mother died is too much of a lie ,he could come up with smth better.
Am I overthinking this?
Part of me says he shut down the phone cause he might be married and was afraid I was gone call him like I did.

This is such a good point!

OP try to slow down. Be friends and acquaintances first with a man. Maybe set yourself a practice of deferring sex until you really know them (three months of serious dating with an eye to a relationship) this will teach you patience and screen out the mere users.

Only a very soecial and very committed man will soothe your abandonment issues. He won’t mind waiting. But you may find it hard not to use sex as an attractant/glue. It doesn’t work for you, but you think it does.

This relationship is not for you. Thinking he's lying at every step and accusing him of things....yeah leave this one alone.

You should end this relationship because you seem as if you will always have trust issues with him.

@BeAzureNewt it certainly sounds odd. He sends you photos to prove he's at work? Yeah, red flags a-flying over there...

He didn't shut anything down, he blocked you. Just because you've been to a house he says he shares with his cousin, doesn't mean he actually lives there.

Sounds like he is in a relationship at least. You had sex and he left. He got what he wanted and blocked you.

No idea if he's been truthful or not but I agree with others that such a lack of trust in the early stages is never going to bode well for a healthy and stable relationship.

He sent you a photo of a woman in a hospital bed - how disrespectful of him re the woman - she was a total stranger to you.

How old are you ?

You don’t sound ready to be in a relationship at all.

He might be lying but either way, frankly, you sound very full on and if I was dating you and found out you were checking my socials like that and being overly intrusive in my life so early on and expecting me to dance to your tune, I’d be the one breaking it off as you sound utterly neurotic.

With this level of anxiety, you shouldn’t be anywhere near a relationship, you need therapy to heal from your past before you even entertain it.

Additionally, you don’t trust him and I agree he does seem a bit shifty, but that might be because he knows what you’re like. There is no point in a relationship for you at the moment so break it off.

I think he's lying about his mother. He had no intentions of coming back to you, so blocked you on socials and turned off his phone. When you said you were done he made up this sob story.

He's not the one for you.

If he's not got a wife and his mum genuinely passed on, then surely he'll be inviting you to the funeral, as his girlfriend? Or at least tell you where it's taking place...
Then I guess you'll know the truth. But it's beyond that really I think.

@ImNoSuperman
He didn't block me we are still friends in our socials.
His phone was shut down.
@Teanbiscuits33
I don't blow up his phone or check him all the time on social media but he knew I already have doubts about him not coming back and then he shuts down the phone just before he was to come back ?
I got anxious ,felt very played and I had to check if he had blocked me on his socials to reassure myself .he got sad when I doubted him coming back , on his way home and he started asking me If I was upset with him for leaving ,then he doesn't come back reassuring me with this action that I was indeed right.
Until this morning where he said about his mum and at first I believed him as many ppl shut down in moments like this but I think the problem here is me not him .

I got anxious ,felt very played and I had to check if he had blocked me on his socials to reassure myself .he got sad when I doubted him coming back , on his way home and he started asking me If I was upset with him for leaving ,then he doesn't come back reassuring me with this action that I was indeed right.
Until this morning where he said about his mum and at first I believed him as many ppl shut down in moments like this but I think the problem here is me not him

-Anxious
-Played
-Sad
-Doubted
-Upset
-Reassuring

...You haven't been seeing him very long. This is all too intense, you are too invested. It's not healthy.

He might be lying, you cannot know for sure.

Know your boundaries and have a plan for if you are hurt again. Look to yourself for reassurance on what to do next.

This is very codependent already.

I think sending a photo of a sick woman is a bit sick in itself just to prove a point
When my DM was dying I didn't even think to send a photo even to a family member
Whether he's lying isn't the point, you were trying to catch him out.
Do him a favour and leave him alone
If you meet someone else then slow it right down

If he hasn’t blocked you then it might be the case he’s come off SM after his mum’s death and you’ve jumped to conclusions. You had no right to react as you did, really. Like I said, he doesn’t come across 100% trustworthy, but you are far from ready for a relationship yet, so please break this off and get therapy or read some books to help yourself. If you keep getting played, it might be a you problem and you’re picking the wrong sorts. You need to work out why so you can stop.

I think you need to be single and work on your insecurities. This behaviour is really unhealthy.

Thank you all for your comments.
I have come to the conclusion that it really doesn't matter if he is lying or not .
The fact that this is giving me anxiety and feelings of insecurity it's enough to break it off with him.

You need to work on yourself op,
All this drama and its only been a few weeks.

What’s the relevance in you having sex. Why do we need to know that. It adds nothing to the story, does it.

Yes very true op.

It does sound like he had no intention of coming back after sex and you felt that.

Also good point from pps about the photo whether it was real or not. It’s very inappropriate to say the least. I do have a family member who lies a lot and they would do that ie send a false photo to prove a point.

I also need to note that when I asked about his mom's health he said its smth about her head ,yesterday he told me it's blood pressure and said but I think I told you that.
The seed of doubt was already planted.

@AtoB
He has posted with his mum on his story in the past and told me he is very close with her.
It was her in the photo and yes I did think at the time that was too much to send to me that he barely knows.

@AtoB
This guy also overshares a lot which I have always found strange and some people do that to give you a false sense of intimacy.

Sounds like a relationship guaranteed to fail, get out whilst u r not that invested.

@BeAzureNewt it sounds like you aren’t ready to be in a relationship and need to work on insecurities caused by past relationships and experiences.

yes this guy might be full of shit, but you aren’t in a place where you can yet be objective in a relationship and sounds like you will always be testing them and looking for flaws and lies.