YABU invite MIL (&SIL & her husband) for x mas dinner even though we have small kids and don’t feel like doing anything in the evening after terrible sleeping toddlers bedtime
YANBU Noone is owed a meal and she can have dinnner with childfree SIL & her husband and no contact sounds perfect
Long story: Xmas was always very stressful because we (DH, 2 toddlers& I) tried to visit my parents and the divored inlaws and for logistical reasons (FIL has a 90+ GMIL there whose possibly last christmas makes her a priority and my parents are the furthest away so we try to stay over night) we like to give her the „middle“ time slot which is also the shortest and while FIL/SMIL and GMIL invited for lunch + tea/cake on the 26th, we invited her for a 2-3 hour tea/coffee and self baked christmas cookies on the 25th because we‘ll spend christmas morning with my parents and just don’t want to sit through another long meal in the evening with exhausted toddlers just to make her happy.
Now we‘ve had a rocky relationship before because she has a history of making a drama if she‘s not getting what she feels like she deserves but she‘s now told DH that she can‘t deal with the emotional pain we cause her any longer and wants no more contact. DH is so annoyed he told her several times to calm down and reconsider on the phone but she was adamant and now he just wants to accept it because he‘s sick of the drama. She also thinks i‘m behind it and blames me and i feel terrible because not doing the dreaded dinner actually was my idea! I knew she’d be pisse but couldnt imagine anyone would go no contact with their child and only grandchildren just because they‘re not served dinner!
i‘m pretty sure we could apologize profusely and invite for dinner and she‘d forgive us..i know it should be DHs choice but i feel terrible for causing it!