Feel out of control in life

[badmoon23]

Just that really.

I feel like I'm drowning in day to day shit and never achieving anything. In trying really hard to save money but things keep coming out that I'm not expecting, or unexpected costs crop up. I have a financial buffer but it's rapidly going down and I can't seem to keep on top of things.

House is full of clutter and I never get the chance to sort it out. I'm running from work to after school clubs then cooking and doing bath time. Weekends are the same. There's no let up and by the time I get chance to sit down I have no motivation left to do anything useful.

Dh helps and we only have 2 dc so it's not like we are abnormal but we don't have any family help at all and it just feels draining. I'm overweight and really want to start going to the gym but again, no time or energy.

Just feel like I'm keeping my head above water, just. But never improving anything. Is it just me?

I hear you. I find that sometimes it is helpful to just focus on one change at a time. For example, just tossing one of two bits of clutter a day will be barely taking any thought or energy but is likely to transform your house by the end of the year.
I am far more likely to fail is I try to eat healthier, go to the gym, save money AND declutter all at the same time. But it's easier if I focus on doing 5 squats a day when brushing my teeth or if I just set a goal of eating one less chocolate per week or saving £10 a month.

Your week days sound really busy, I don't think there's much you can change there. You say your weekends are the same but they can't be the same because surely you're not working then too? So what's happening at the weekend?

How about going to the gym on a Sat and/or Sunday morning? Or just taking the kids out for a good walk? Then setting aside an hour each weekend day to do a bit of decluttering. I think it's a case of carving out an hour or two where you can on the weekends to get the stuff you want to do done. Perhaps DH could take the kids to softplay or something to give you chance to get something done.

Eldest dc plays rugby competitively and we have games most weekends that can take up most of the day. Youngest is at the age of swimming lessons and birthday parties. Not every weekend and there is more time than on a weekday but it's also very hard to get stuff done with the dc around even when we are at home.

I know it's just family life but I just really don't feel in control and certainly can't think of ways I can better myself or make improvements.

I think it's impossible when working full time & allowing kids activities. The only suggestions I have are:

Cut work hours or take long lunch breaks.

Allocate ONE evening per week to each person - meaning dc1 does rugby on Mondays, dc2 swimming on Tuesdays. Weds YOU go to the gym/swim/whatever and Thurs DH does. No one gets two nights at the expense of someone else.

For the rugby matches you could go for a run instead of watching the whole game.

Housework - outsource as much as possible. Appreciate this doesn't fit with the money saving.

Eat simple food. Jacket potatoes, omelettes etc. Quick & cheap.

Have active family time. Walk, bike ride, play tennis.

Overall it's bloody hard work and we're all sttugggling along with you

I think with Christmas coming up I'm already getting overwhelmed with how much is on the to do list. And while dh is helpful, much of the mental load falls on me. It's just draining.