Will I ever get my pre-pregancy body back?

[Coolbreezee]

Today I ran a 10k race. I did better than I expected with a time of 50:57. Quite a bit slower than my pre-pregancy days but I've only been running for the last 3 months after around a year off. I was so happy until I saw the race photos...

I'm not joking. I looked like a heffalump, with huge boobs and a resting bitch face (inside I was having a great time!). My hair was a mess and my baggy t shirt was so unflattering.

I used to be a size 6, athletic build. Now I am a size 10 with 32GG breasts (one several cup sizes bigger than the other). I eat healthy, last month I ran 150 miles. I walk 20k + steps every day. I feel fit and healthy. But the weight is just sticking to me. I am eating more than normal if I'm honest but not a crazy amount. I lost a few kgs by going on a 1200 cal diet, which was fine but is just not sustainable with my exercise and breastfeeding. DD is 8 months. I thought I'd be back in my pre-pregancy jeans by I'm not even close.

Day to day I don't really mind my body, it's done an amazing thing but whenever I see a photo I am absolutely disgusted.

I want to get back into shape, but honestly I am struggling to loose the weight. I know it's all diet. I only eat healthy food (obviously too much of it) but at the same time I'm listening to my hunger cues. I'm eating because my body is asking for it not because I'm bored or stressed or anything like that.

Pleas tell me it's just part of the process, or am I deluding myself. Should I be working harder to diet and lose weight. At first I was all for lets take the pressure off and focus on DD but now I'm getting frustrated and want my body back.

8 months is no time at all.
It’s 12 years since I had a baby and I most definitely don’t have my pre pregnancy body back! I am the same weight as I was but not exactly the same shape. Bigger boobs and a saggy tum.

Are you still breastfeeding? I found it impossible to lose weight while breastfeeding, my body had other priorities!

Yep! Almost exclusively breastfeeding. She is eating one meal a day now but still chugging down the milk. I've found it really hard to stick to any form of calorie restricted diet especially having upped my exercise. I am running a lot now, and walking everywhere plus weights a couple of times a week. I've never had any problems losing weight before so this is completely new territory. I feel my body has a power over my mind. It's hard because in my friendship group all the other mums seemed to have bounced back. Whereas I am working my butt of withe exercise and eating sensibly, no alcohol and the scale is not budging....

My eldest is 17 and youngest, 13.

Honestly, no. I run, lift weights, cycle, hike. I eat healthily. I don't drink. I don't smoke.

But two cesareans mean that I will never look the same again. BFing for years means that I will never look the same again. Pregnancy means I will never look the same again.

But I don't look terrible. I am toned, fit, have an impressive 10k time and can deadlift more than most of my students. I won't be a size 6 again. Even marathon training, I was a size 10.

I'm mostly ok with it.

Neither your body nor your life will ever be the same BUT both can be fantastic

I highly doubt as a size 10 you look like a heffalump...

Social media/celeb culture has done an absolute number on convincing women that they must not under any circumstances show signs of aging or child rearing.

You grew another human in your body OP- you will never get your ‘pre pregnancy body’ back because your body has changed—and I know that sounds a bit chippy but I genuinely don’t mean it to be.

Honestly the only person judging your body is you - maybe you should start going easy on yourself?

Somehow I do...I think it's a proportion thing rather than a clothes size thing. By boobs are enormous and so even though I have a waist and a ribcage, you only see boobs flying in all directions when I run. I'm not kidding when I say without a bra on my boobs touch my belly button 🥴

It’s not all diet. It’s hormonal (sleep and stress), the hormonal change post partum is bigger than menopause, and it can take 2 years for your organs to go back to where they were. When your baby sleeps consistently it’ll be very different.

Some people cling onto weight when breastfeeding. I guess it's a protective thing. I think you need to keep in mind that even if you 'bounce back' to pre pregnancy shape/weight it's not forever anyway, so don't put silly timescales and pressure on yourself. You need to reframe how you view weight and body image. Women's bodies change throughout our lives with pregnancy/peri/menopause. I was basically the same as pre pregnancy after having 2 babies and even became much thinner than I've ever been after my last. It really means nothing. 5 years on I've gained a stone (happend during COVID and I doubt I'll shift it now partly because of age and partly because I dont care that much). I'm stronger than I've ever been and I would rather be slightly heavier and actually enjoy my life! I've enjoyed updated my wardrobe one size up and finding a slightly new style. I think generally photos are very unflattering, at least for me they always are.

Thanks for the comments. I'm going to be open here. I really struggled as a teenager with puberty. In my early 20s I was dangerously underweight. It took a long time to feel good at a healthy bmi. I have PCOS and also lupus so i've always had to overcompensate to stay at normal weight. My body holds on to fat at the best of times but whilst breastfeeding I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me, because it does. I was upset looking at the photos.

You're only 8 months post baby! You shouldn’t be calorie restricting at all really. These things take time.

I’ve had 2 kids and am around a size 8 like I was before. Both times around a year after having each baby I am back into a size 8. 8 months after baby I was probably closer to a 12/10. I’m a slightly different shape. My hips are wider and my stomach isn’t as flat but overall if I’m dressed up (not looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge) people are surprised to hear I’ve got kids. I’m tall and willowy if that makes a difference 🤷‍♀️

Breastfeeding really takes the weight off me. I know if can go either way and some people hold on to weight until the baby weans.

I don’t think my boobs will ever be the same again but they aren’t meant to be! I’ve been breastfeeding almost continuously for more than 3 years. They’re going to be different with a bra nobody can tell anyway 😂 I’m pretty proud of what they’ve achieved tbh.

You're being too hard on your self too soon x

I think you’re expecting too much too soon. It took me a good two years to get back to a place where my body really felt normal again - and even then that has involved making peace with some irrevocable changes!

I also think it can be incredibly hard to lose weight while breastfeeding. I know some women find breastfeeding helps the weight fall off but that wasn’t my experience at all. I was so hungry that even though I was eating healthily I was also eating a lot, to satiate that hunger. I didn’t start losing my pregnancy weight to any reliable degree until after I stopped breastfeeding when my son was around 16 months. It was much easier then.

It sounds like you’re super fit and taking care of your health really well. That’s amazing and will set you in good stead in time. For now, it might just be the case that it’s not the season for your body to return to how it was.

I really don’t think you should calorie restrict if you’re still your babies main source of food. It will be bad for your body in all kinds of ways, bone health etc. your body will take the nutrients that baby needs and leave you deficient.

Oh lovey in that case I think you should reach out to someone in real life - can you talk to your partner about this ?

Also if you feel you can share this with a health professional (GP or health visitor) please do -it’s good you recognise that you are vulnerable to falling into the old thoughts and behaviours.

Thanks for sharing that, it gives me hope!

I don't mind if my breasts are never the same again (the same size would be nice but time will tell). I don't mind having flabby bits, extra skin and all of that, I understand that's just part of the deal. The thing I'm struggling with is the extra weight. My tummy is fairly flat (at least I'm not too bothered by it) I seemed to have stored all my fat in the tops of my thighs, breasts, tops of arms and my face. I feel so out of proportion.

I'm being very honest here. It feels good to share what I cannot say out loud.

I agree with this

I was a size 10 pre baby and I could not get back into my old bras til I stopped breast feeding- the week after I stopped my boobs shrank back to normal. Bodies are funny things! You sound fit, healthy and strong I give yourself one time.

My children are now 12, 10 and 8 and although I am the same weight as I was before I am a completely different shape. And the reality is that I always will be.

I felt exactly the same after my second baby! My first the weight came off in weeks and I was back into a size six. My second I stopped breastfeeding at 15 months and six weeks on my boobs are back to a 30c from being huge and all the new clothes I bought are getting loose. The constant food cravings have disappeared and I’m not eating every hour of the day. Just give it time, chances are when you wean you will change shape again.

Thank you. I'm a single mum so no partner. I did actually go to the GP a couple of months ago, but the lady I saw was very clearly obese so I felt very uncomfortable talking about weight in case i made her feel bad. It was just unlucky. My best friend is very supportive and tells me the things I need to hear. Like I say, when I'm going about my day,I don't even notice. But if I see myself in a mirror or a photo I do feel sad. I wonder how many people feel the same way. I imagine it's pretty common.

You sound like me in my first year postpartum... in my case as soon as I stopped breastfeeding the last of the weight came off. My boobs went from an H back down to a D and all the extra weight from around my arms and face went at the same time.

And my times over all distances are now also quicker than they were pre-kids, including running good for age qualifiers for the first time.

Hang in there OP, 8 months is no time and you're doing brilliantly.

I could never lose weight when breastfeeding but breastfeeding is really important so take your time.
it did take me 2 years and more effort to feel better and although my figure is different I’m happy with it. You’ll get there in the end.

my advice I’d choose a flatting outfit and wear it, do your hair and make up, even if you’re just going out for a baby class or a coffee. you’ll probably feel a lot better!

Lots of women react differently to breastfeeding. I can't lose weight myself when bf. It isn't going to happen til baby is after 1 til I look a tad normal.

I recently lost 8lb from doing nothing but having my son turn 18mo and dropping a feed. I've lost more on an all inclusive holiday than I have from dieting and exercising when I've breastfed.

If you think about it, your body wants to hold onto fat to sustain your milk supply. Your fat metabolism is altered and if we lived in poverty our baby's would thrive but unforuntaly we live in he land of excess and end up looking like female wrestlers. Lots of women do lose weight whilst bf but everyone is different.