Mil issue?

[Firsttimedad1989]

Hi new dad and new poster here , I saw a post last week I think it was and it was very similar problem to what I have but I never got a chance to see the results and I think it went offline.

I have an issue with my mil and it drives me mad!

Our daughter is 3months old for context

My mil is constantly saying “nana” to our baby I mean constantly!! So much so that I have started counting.. I know it’s sad but I thought I was going insane as my wife didn’t hear it. In a 4 hour visit it was said way over the 100 times! Probably closer to 150! Its nearly every other word! It’s very irritating and I find it really inappropriate.

we say “mummy” “daddy” as all parents do.. but a tiny fraction compared to my MIL. I’m finding I’m having to say mumma and dadda way more than what feels comfortable because of it.

I personally feel she’s doing it to get one of her first words to be nana, i would be upset if nana comes before mumma.

My mil is quite interfering and she’s often said she sees our daughter as her child. when she does come over or we visit her she does seem to take over and almost mother her. I do feel quite self conscious as she doesn’t take her eyes off our daughter and wants to grab her at any possible moment. Which is annoying.

I know it sounds silly but the way my mil says “nana” is completely unnatural, it’s only said to drum that word into my daughter, she will say 3/4 times in a row.. that isn’t normal to say.

A i being unreasonable?

You have already posted about this, didn’t you like the answers?

Completely agree.
It’s neither fair nor kind of the minority of posters who have basically said get over yourself. Who knows, maybe it has hit a nerve with them.
Keeping boundaries in place is your best tool. Maybe keep to shorter visits too if you are not relying on MIL for childcare.

@autumn38 maybe you're right. I just wouldn't cause drama with her family over this. Especially as he is upset on wife's behalf ie if baby says nana before mumma.

I think most issues should be dealt with by the person directly related with partner supporting them to confront situation if they want to. Especially when mum not long had baby and likely tired and might find her mum taking over the baby helpful even if a bit annoying/ott too.

so her feelings as a grandmother trumps my feelings as a dad?

Close your ears spend her visit more usefully, have a Kip, clean the bathroom, walk the dog for goodness sake

Very difficult to ignore it when it’s pretty much every other word..don’t need a kip.baby sleeps through the night and had from week 5, our house is spotless.. and don’t have a dog.. for goodness sake..

Is it every other word in general or every other word to the baby? Because if the former, I would ask her if she's feeling ok, check for signs of a health issue, but if the latter, perhaps keep her in conversation unrelated to the baby.
Ask her about her life when she was your age, her first job, favourite holiday, anything to keep her talking.

If you can't do that, maybe just don't be in when your mil visits if it's causing you so much stress.

I get that having someone constantly repeat their name would be annoying, but I don't know why you're so worried about what word your baby says first in so many months in the future!
What if she says mama, is that ok with you?

I think my ds first said the dog's name, we thought it was funny.

No they dont. but i dont see that she's done anything which warrants your annoyance. if she made hurtful comments as to how you parent, then i could understand, but this just seems to be a case of a grandmother expressing love towards her grandchild when she sees her. also, is it THAT important that your DD says mama or dada before nanny?

Totally get it and very annoying!! My MIL talks about herself in the third person to my children “nanny likes this” “nanny has been at work today” etc and calls me “mummy” to the kids (although doesn’t talk directly to me, another issue). They are aged 7, 10, 14 and 15!! Drives me insane!!

Every time she said Nana Nana Nana I’d be tempted to shout BATMANNNNN

Dismissive much?!

😂😂. Or perhaps say narna - baby talk for banana.
She sounds like a complete arsehole. Not sure what you can do about it, if your wife is more concerned about keeping her happy than your feelings, other than find somewhere else to be when she visits.

I know this thread is old, but this comment is belter 😎 🦇 😆