Healing Relationship With Sister

[southernponies]

For the last 5 years my relationship with my sister has been rocky for a few reasons; primariliy because she has had difficulty liking my previous partners.

if this was a friend I would have burned this bidge, however, as she's my sister I would like to take the first step towards repairing this relationship.

Context: she is older than me and, until recently, has never had a boyfriend. We think jelousy was the prime cause of her hostility (her bahviour was the same vis a vis by sibling's girlfriends). She has also been suffering with her own mental health for a while now.

Two things have happened recently which may help: (1) I am now single; and (2) she has recently got a boyfriend. Now's the time to extend the preverbial olive branch.

Any ideas on how best to approach this?

Yours,

Southernponies

I know she's your sister but that doesn't mean she can treat you poorly and you have to accept it. (I know you have distanced yourself but I mention this as you said if it was a friend you would have burned that bridge.) Whatever you do, please protect your own feelings first and remember your boundaries. Are you in a vulnerable place now if recently single? I understand the desire to get in touch though. I had a similar situation but sadly my sister is just too hostile to everyone.

Perhaps you could write her a letter and rather than bring up the past you could just keep it simple and ask her if she wants to meet up for a coffee. (Would keep it on neutral territory at first.) Good luck. I wish you well.

If you want it to look natural then maybe start by exchanging a few messages and then move onto a coffee or outing. I wouldn’t rush it or raise your expectations, she might be equally mean despite being in a relationship.

So she'll only want to have contact when she thinks she's 'doing better'?
Are your parents pushing for you to get in touch?