Would you rent off a family member

[Neuroticmillenial]

DH and I have been arguing over whether it’s a good idea to rent off a family member (mine).

I say it’s worth the risk because it’s a much bigger house than where we currently live. We have two young children but the house layout is awkward so we have a puppy gate instead of a baby gate, very little room to store coats, shoes, bags, etc. No room for a clothes horse, awkward sleeping arrangements. It’s just about functional but it is tiny. I also have a half hour walk to DS’ school up a fairly steep hill pushing a toddler in a buggy so I often get the bus home.

We’re paying below market rate but this could change at any point.

A family member owns a much more spacious house which is £75 more in rent but closer to the school so it works out around £40 more because I’d no longer need to catch the bus. It’s also closer to town and I have no car so it’s more practical in that aspect.

DH is concerned because it’s family. We also split up last year for a brief period and he’s worried that he would have no agency renting off my family member. I totally understand his concerns but I feel this is too good of an opportunity to pass.

This probably isn’t worth mentioning, but eldest DS is autistic and loves collectibles. He has hoards of plushy toys, math links, books about a particular topic. I don’t have the heart to throw his stuff out to make room for his sibling to move in (he’s currently in our bedroom). However, he’s only eligible for low rate DLA which means the council wouldn’t look at us twice if we applied for a 3 bed social housing. This house, however, has lots of storage and an extra room.

AIBU minimising DH’ fears from renting off a family member?

I have to say I understand his concerns, especially if you were recently separated, I wouldn’t be keen to do it if I was in his shoes either.

There can be problems, but if the two of you split up again, would you be the parent to stay in the family home with the DC at least for a bit, while he moved out? If so, it wouldn't make much difference who the landlord was, except that your relative might be more flexible about notice.

Not sure I understand the 'but what if we split' pov.

What difference would it make? If you split, one of you needs to move out regardless of who owns the house you're renting. And the liklihood is it would be him anyway.

Would he prefer to stay where you are so that if you split he could stay in the house and refuse to leave?

He’s the lead tenant although I’m not sure it makes a difference in that scenario

Never imo

Bigger house, closer to school, not much more to pay in rent. I'd move for definite.
I rent from a family friend. Feel more secure here than I would renting from an estate agent tbh.
We've been having a rough time in our marriage and I'm glad it's 'my' house as if anyone had to leave it would be him and with me being the 'main' parent it gives me extra peace of mind.

In theory sounds good in practice, it’s always going to be their home, whereas if you rent from someone you don’t know, you have privacy.
Years a go rented from a family member, it was expected from them, they could visit whenever they wanted and stay for holidays without asking first! (They weren’t doing as any favours we were paying the going rent for the area) That’s extreme, very awkward, l never felt it was my home.
OP if you do decide to move there, make sure you have a tenancy agreement, which sounds obvious, regardless of it being family, it’s important it’s official, to protect you and your family.

Mixing renting, family and a rocky marriage sounds a recipe for disaster.

I understand his worries but it sounds like the best thing all round to move. As long as you have a tenancy agreement and he’s on it, he’d have the same rights regardless.